Prepare yourselves for some explosive laughs this week, friends. The Blooper Scooper is back with some real head-scratchers from the MLS and local ads. Check out these winners-from-losers:
Listing Go Boom!
“Newc on market” (That explains the load of uranium in your front yard.)
“Ham made kitchen cabinets” (Well that’s one way to bring home the bacon!)
“Credit for the mob” (In Jersey, that’s known as “delivering Vinny the vig.”)
“Near L.A. metro lime” (Trust me, the lime isn’t the only evidence that our L.A. bus drivers have been doing tequila shooters!)
Career Go Boom, Too
“No pets over 450 lbs” (My wildebeest will be very disappointed.)
“Drawling for new Sams song phone” (I suggest you ask Sam to teach you the Alphabet Song.)
“This unit has patio, no garland” (If you find a stocking full of coal on that patio, no doubt your lack of holiday spirit pissed off Santa.)
“Last house going downhill” (How did you teach the house to follow your career?)
“Transfer feet not covered (So what are you saying – you want to borrow my socks?)
Debra and Miss Piggy Make Boom Boom
“Debra will be cleaned up Thurs.” (Apparently the 2nd Fleet is due to arrive…)
“Walter damage in bath” (Maybe Walter should set down his beer can when trying to hit the porcelain.)
“Great view if not odor cast” (Poster advertising a ride on Break of Dawn – Long Island’s ever-popular garbage barge.)
“Nice place with room to glow” (I’m sure that’s enticing for those who want to take up residence in a koi pond.)
“EZ sow” (Yeah, I heard Miss Piggy was a horny little ham-bone.)
And The Dubious Distinction Award Goes To:
“This one will knock your sacks off” (Proudly offered by Neuter Realty, Inc. Their motto: Who ya gonna call? B__lbusters!)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!
