Under the Dome
“Dome upgrades made” (Oh, I just thought you were selling an igloo.)
“Property runs to storm drain” (That’s called ‘erosion’, dude.)
“Motivate your clients with great rats” (That would motivate me to get the hell out of Dodge.)
“Fax doc for review” (But he keeps refusing to get into the document feeder…)
Behind the Gnome
“House with gnomes in yard” (Oh, I just thought it was a convention in the Shire.)
“Twilite open with wine and musi” (Methinks the wine supply is already dwindling…)
“Time to cash in!!!” (Don’t ever shout this in a nursing home.)
“Large puberty with pool” (Pool of what – raging hormones?)
“Some leakage” (That’s what I keep telling my urologist.)
Welcome Home
“Gentry sloping areas” (…Yet another common affliction of Neanderthal socialites.)
“Lots of cod cuts” (Promo for the updated version of “West Side Story” featuring the Jets versus the Whitefish.)
“Large bassmen” (Hence the surplus of cod who have been driven to the stage for employment.)
“Need help writing colorful discretions?” (No, I usually need bail after committing them.)
And the Final Moan
“Harry now” (Overheard of Margaret Truman during the throes of passion.)
“Drawing for 2 tickets to the L.A. Oprah” (This gives new meaning to the saying, “It’s ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.”)
(Sorry…I just couldn’t resist.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!
