It’s Party Time!
“Need proof of funs” (How ‘bout a party hat and a martini shaker?)
“House numbers on grass” (I suspect the agent is on grass, too.)
“Water hater – needs replacement” (Try replacing the water with Vodka.)
“Mod inspections” (Who’s the inspector – David Bowie?)
A Touch of Reality
“Access our REO databaste” (What a world – First the struggling homeowners are basted, and then they’re skewered!)
“Get an accurate real estate retort” (The only accurate retort to real estate is: “Ouch.”)
“New big project lunched” (New big project after lunch – requires commode.)
“Great school distract” (Is that a line from your fifth grade Report Card?)
“Need bunk approval” (Bunk approvals are what helped caused the bubble!)
Beware of Mixing Happy Hour and Business
“Will not accept pore quality faxes” (That’s ink on the paper, fool – not blackheads.)
“Steaks mark lot line” (Yet another way that bears trap stupid humans.)
“House overlooks gentile slope” (Methinks there are no gefilte fish balls floating in those waters…)
“Will enjoy pudding green” (Won’t enjoy stomach pump…)
“Goreous house” (These owners must be full of bull.)
Whatever Turns You On (My Fave)
“Located on fat pad” (So is my underwear, but I am not trying to sell it.)
