People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
David Wilson
December 1, 2008 at 11:17 am
I totally agree with you! Don’t put all your eggs in one basket! We tell our clients this all the time. We push our clients to maintain their own hosted blog, and a separate wordpress blog, that is slightly different. We also get them on all the major social sites, get people talking!
Great advice!
Tyler, The Wealth Creation Guy
December 1, 2008 at 11:55 am
Ines,
Great Post. You have officially scared the crap out of me!
Does anyone have any suggestions on great hosting services for WP Blogs?.. I’d like to have a back-up. I currently use HostGator.
Thanks in advance 😉
Ines Hegedus-Garcia
December 1, 2008 at 1:37 pm
David – live and learn…..and then share so others can learn as well 🙂
Tyler – send me the dry-cleaner’s bill
Monika
December 1, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Ines,
We thankfully always back our site up. If it went down today…I have a back up as of yesterday. I would be be pretty upset if someone fooled around with my livelihood ie my blog!!! We have a (few) wordpress.org sites and I am so glad we went that route. Jay just re-did my site…so we very much just depend on ourselves.
Jim Duncan
December 1, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Tyler – I use bluehost; they saved my butt a few months ago when some idiot (me) deleted my blog – they pulled a backup from three hours prior.
Ines – I don’t know about the preaching to the choir analogy – when I was in the choir I was too busy chewing gum trying to not get in trouble during the services. 🙂
Monika
December 1, 2008 at 4:58 pm
We also use Bluehost and are very pleased with them.
Ines Hegedus-Garcia
December 1, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Monika – that’s because Jay is DA BOMB!! You guys have it all under control. (glad to hear it)
Jim – LOL – spit that gum out boy!
Jay Thompson
December 1, 2008 at 5:40 pm
This is a thought provoking post.
My blog gets backed up daily, automatically (via a plugin) and an copy is sent to me via email and stored on my server (I use Media Temple). In addition, my hard drive is backed up in basically real time via Carbonite (*highly* recommended).
This is one thing I tell people who blog exclusively on platforms like ActiveRain, RealTown, proprietary sites, even wordpress.com and typepad. You *never know* what could happen. These companies could go out of business, be sold, change their terms and conditions, whatever.
If I woke up tomorrow to find my hosting company had gone belly up, or burned to the ground, I could have my blog up and running in less than an hour.
I like that piece of mind. Since my business depends almost totally on the Internet, it’s critical that I maintain as much control over it as humanly possible.
Now should the Internet go away, I’d have to rethink a lot of stuff. (Don’t laugh. While the Internet isn’t likely to go away, it’s almost certainly going to morph and change — it’s never really standing still, and those using it shouldn’t either.)
Kevin Tomlinson-Miami Beach Real Estate
December 1, 2008 at 5:54 pm
That’s really scary. I’m happy I have two sites in the engines.
Really, really scary
Ines Hegedus-Garcia
December 1, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Jay – some are smarter than others and you my friend are always willing to share….thanks for that (SMART)
Kevin – scary only the first time….then you learn.
Mack
December 1, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Unfortunately about a year and a half ago my site was with Advanced Access and it along with about 30,000 others went down for almost a week. Ouch!!! When it happened for a second time (Shorter term this time) I had to say goodbye. I have all the pages of my site backed up but the problem with these 2 outages was server related. I did the only thing I could think of that made good sense, I changed hosts and platforms and could not be happier. I hope no one has to go through what I went through but having the backups made the move much easier.
Ines Hegedus-Garcia
December 1, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Mack – thanks for sharing – can’t even begin to fathon not having an Internet presence for a week. OUCH!
Missy Caulk
December 1, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Ines, I assume my host backs up and assumes is the word I give you tonight. In the AM I will call and check and if not make other arrangements, No, not talking about my AR blog but my WP one.
Thanks for getting me to do what I know I need to do.
Ines Hegedus-Garcia
December 1, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Missy – If all else fails and I get one single person to double check their back-ups, then it was well worth it.
Jay McGillicuddy
December 2, 2008 at 4:53 am
Ines,
We have experienced being hacked and our site went down due to a WordPress upgrade meltdown. We were down for two weeks as I tried to get my previous hosting company to fix it. They couldn’t and that is when we changed to Blue Host.
We changed to Blue Host because they got us up and running in a few minutes and we weren’t even there customer at the time.
Monika has addressed our backing up on a regular basis.
I am glad we are self hosted and I love WordPress as I can do a lot and I have full control.
Thomas Johnson
December 2, 2008 at 9:37 am
Great post, Ines. I have assumed that my vendor is backed up. Since our vendors are not banks subject to a Paulson bailout, well, you know about assume.
It makes an ASS of U and ME.
Lisa Sanderson
December 2, 2008 at 10:11 am
I really don’t have time for all this realistic, be-prepared, girl scout nonsense, Ines, so please stop harassing me. 😉
Jeff Bogert
December 2, 2008 at 11:34 am
Ines,
It is funny how the universe works sometimes. I have a my browser close in the middle of an “automatic” upgrade to WP 2.65 resulting in some funky display issues in IE and you have created the timeless but always necessary backup, backup, backup post.
Ines Hegedus-Garcia
December 2, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Jay – I’m sure you are ready now if it ever happens again – I hate that we learn from our mistakes instead of being ready from the start.
(love the avatar btw)
Thomas – I’m sure you will check on your vendor now 🙂
Lisa – LOL
Jeff – definitely necessary….can’t say it enough.
Jay McGillicuddy
December 2, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Ines, if we didn’t make mistakes then we would never learn anything.
It is a hard lesson to learn but when we learn from our mistakes we come back twice as strong, as I am sure you will do, with no problem.
You are a great blogger and real estate agent so that is why you will succeed.
SharonAlters
December 2, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Ines, this is important. We think that the hosts back up everything so why should we worry but even they can fail.
I’m putting a back up hard drive on my Christmas list!
BTW, enjoyed seeing your presentation at the Web 2.0 Panal at NAR with Jeff, Teresa and Cyndee.
Mariana the Wagner
December 2, 2008 at 9:02 pm
yeah. that sucks. i’m going to stop talking now.
Ines
December 2, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Jay – we do come back stronger. I just wish for people to learn from my mistakes so they don’t have to go through what I’ve gone through.
Sharon – thank you!! there are plugins also to back up your stuff on your own server or someone elses – there are plenty of options out there, and I’m glad you enjoyed the panel – it was a lot of fun.
Mariana – shut UP!
Ann Cummings
December 3, 2008 at 5:50 am
Hey Ines – oh how painful those lessons have been. And I can’t even quantify what I’ve learned through the kind of messes you’re talking about. One thing I am doing is taking more control of my sites, and will never again be that totally dependent on something proprietary or something I don’t have far more control over.
Lessons learned and now going forward….
When I grow up, I want to be like Jay & Monika… 😉
Ines
December 3, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Hey Ann – makes us stronger and better people…what we’ve learned in the past 2 years is pretty amazing, no?
Jay McGillicuddy
December 3, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Thank you Annie. LOL