Happiness is a Warm Gun (A Brokers Open in South Central)
I’m a Loser (An agent with a bobble-head Omarosa on his dash)
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds (A Beverly Hills agent on nine cups of java)
Please, Please Me (Refrain of the Greek Chorus at a Listing Appointment)
Another One Bites the Dust (Refrain of the Greek Chorus when your buyer tells you he recently “invested” the down payment money)
Eight Days a Week (A slacker week for an agent.)
Thriller (A 4% commission that requires no sexual favors)
Brown Sugar (A sweet deal that turns to s__t.)
Dancing Queen (A West Hollywood agent at COE)
Straight Outta Compton (A house with bullet holes for air conditioning)
Bang Bang (Name of the HVAC company that services Compton)
Knockin On Heavens Door (A contingency offer…that’s 20% under asking)
Don’t Let Go (Refrain of the Greek Chorus when your hands are around the neck of the guy that’s fighting you for procuring cause)
You Shook Me All Night Long (Twilight Open near the San Andreas Fault)
Would I Lie To You (An extra credit question on the state real estate exam – the multiple choice selection is: a) Yes b) Why Not? c) Does a turd float? or c) All of the above, bozo)
Got To Give It Up (Advice to the seller chained to his basement bar screaming, “Noooo – not the brewskis!!!)
Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing Baby (Advice to the seller with the neon Elvis over his couch)
The Tracks of My Tears (The road from here to your last failed escrow)
Take All of Me (An agent’s plea while lying prostrate in front of a lender on day thirty of his vanishing deal)
Chattanooga Shoe Shine Boy (The agent who used to sit at the desk next to yours.)
Light My Fire (New Jersey alternative to selling at a loss)
Chain of Fools (Seven wasted agents in a Limbo line)
La Vida Loca – (Uber-obvious, no?)
Why Try to Change Me Now? (Most popular rehab center for agents)
Money, That’s What I Want – The first five words an agent learns in real estate…and the last!
(For more fun, read Real Estate’s Influence on Literature: Real Estate and Literature – Imitation is Flattery on Agent Genius)
