Real Estate, the French, and the Hollywood “Bowel”

Believe it or not, last week there actually was an ad in the MLS Caravan Express announcing a house where you could “Live Near the Hollywood Bowel.” It boggles the mind. I suppose the location was “easy in and out.” (Or maybe the agent hails from Flushing.) I am not sure how many of these MLS bloopers are foolishness or how many are Freudian, but they sure make for good reading. Here are this week’s hilarious contributions: 

Are you high???

Fireplace with stone hearse. (For those seeking a ride to their crematorium.)

Nude sculptor non negotiable (I dunno – he sounds pretty easy to me.)

Built-in BBQ and attractive duck (Get your affairs in order, Daffy.)

Gym and handleball courts (I knew that sooner or later men would make this a sport!)

New Irritation system (I suspect this is connected to the Hollywood Bowel)

New deposit roof (A house that’s located near a bird sanctuary.)

House has shudders (House needs Valium)

Beautiful bougainvillea and crapping fig (Agent with s__t for brains)

Built-in aquarium occluded (Dead fish included)

Korean countertops (If you cook on the North side of the kitchen, you’ll be shot.)

Soapstoned counters (Well stoned agent.)

Foe painting (If you can’t shoot your enemies, decorate ‘em.)

Windows with Loeueverres (Agent in stuuppoor?)

French drawers lead to entertainment area (Those naughty French!)

Enclosed gazebo for all seasoning (For those who want to add some spice to their lives.)

Frigidhare in kitchen (Frustrated hare in bedroom.)

Great area for dog runs (Again with the Hollywood Bowel!)

And my favorite:

View the mounting area from your porch. (No doubt those frolicking French are involved.)

For more MLS bloopers, please visit www.sherlockhomes.com