Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

The American GeniusThe American Genius

Residential

“Great for horse livers” – riding high with the MLS

Hey guys – did you miss me while I was gone? I know that all you spelling miscreants certainly didn’t. Nonetheless, I was ever-watchful while trekking about, and I picked up some bloopers worthy of  The MLS Hall of Fame. Please enjoy:

KINK AND CLINK

“Click kink to see video” (Cool – property porn!)

“Custom wood binds” (Were these a prop in the video?)

“Gracefell entry” (Grace needs to lay off the tequila.)

“New carpet throughup” (I suspect that was Grace’s doing…)

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

“Great for horse livers” (Uh, Grace…speaking of horse livers….)

FIRE AND ICE

“Listen to the sound of the cracking FP” (…and the sound of  Big Guido cracking the contractor’s knees.)

“Please remove shes” (Bite me, Ayatollah!)

“Light and Erie Throughout” (From the film, “A Train Runs Through It.”)

“Your buyer will love extra room in attica” (Not half as much as a cellmate named “Leather Boy” will love your buyer.)

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

 “Bar with built-in nice machine” (Nice enough to whip me up a batch of martinis?)

CLASS, SASS AND A__

“Pasties served” (Let me guess…with sa-shimi?”)

“Porch with pikkars adds to Southern charm” (Well, that depends – banjos or boogers?)

 “Gorgeous Malibu state” (…bordered by The State of Denial, The State of Envy and The State of Bacchanalia.)

“New banal home” (Perhaps you mean “canal,” but now I’m too bored to ask.)

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Good Night, Irene

“Built with pissass” (Yeah, that’s what I used to call my contractor, too. Oh, wait…that was my ex-husband…)

Wishing you a good night from West Hollywood. – gb

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

14 Comments

14 Comments

  1. Gwen Banta

    March 18, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    Jeff, are you implying that offering “horse livers” isn’t a good sales technique? 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

The
American Genius
news neatly in your inbox

Subscribe to our mailing list for news sent straight to your email inbox.

Advertisement

KEEP READING!

Business News

(FINANCE) An anti-trust lawsuit against major players in the residential real estate industry sheds light on misinformation and misunderstandings about commissions - when you're...

Business Marketing

(MARKETING) Famed Austin ad agency, Jessee McGarrah crafts hilarious "apologies" on behalf of Amazon, and they couldn't be more perfect.

Business Marketing

(PUBLIC RELATIONS) With a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease, the founder of SCOTTeVEST proves how not to talk about your customers.

Business Marketing

(MARKETING) Opcity is the Austin startup making big changes to the ways that lead generation happens in real estate.

The American Genius is a strong news voice in the entrepreneur and tech world, offering meaningful, concise insight into emerging technologies, the digital economy, best practices, and a shifting business culture. We refuse to publish fluff, and our readers rely on us for inspiring action. Copyright © 2005-2022, The American Genius, LLC.