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“Great for horse livers” – riding high with the MLS

Hey guys – did you miss me while I was gone? I know that all you spelling miscreants certainly didn’t. Nonetheless, I was ever-watchful while trekking about, and I picked up some bloopers worthy of  The MLS Hall of Fame. Please enjoy:


“Click kink to see video” (Cool – property porn!)

“Custom wood binds” (Were these a prop in the video?)

“Gracefell entry” (Grace needs to lay off the tequila.)

“New carpet throughup” (I suspect that was Grace’s doing…)

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“Great for horse livers” (Uh, Grace…speaking of horse livers….)


“Listen to the sound of the cracking FP” (…and the sound of  Big Guido cracking the contractor’s knees.)

“Please remove shes” (Bite me, Ayatollah!)

“Light and Erie Throughout” (From the film, “A Train Runs Through It.”)

“Your buyer will love extra room in attica” (Not half as much as a cellmate named “Leather Boy” will love your buyer.)

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 “Bar with built-in nice machine” (Nice enough to whip me up a batch of martinis?)


“Pasties served” (Let me guess…with sa-shimi?”)

“Porch with pikkars adds to Southern charm” (Well, that depends – banjos or boogers?)

 “Gorgeous Malibu state” (…bordered by The State of Denial, The State of Envy and The State of Bacchanalia.)

“New banal home” (Perhaps you mean “canal,” but now I’m too bored to ask.)

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Good Night, Irene

“Built with pissass” (Yeah, that’s what I used to call my contractor, too. Oh, wait…that was my ex-husband…)

Wishing you a good night from West Hollywood. – gb

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Gwen Banta

    March 18, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    Jeff, are you implying that offering “horse livers” isn’t a good sales technique? 🙂

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