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The MLS Rides Again! MLS Bloopers Across America

parachute pigs
Just when I am convinced I have seen all the MLS  bloopers that could possible occur, the MLS rides forth again with a cornucopia of delicious craziness. Hang on for this week’s ride: 

A Whole Bag of Crazy

“Separate quarters to hose your guests” (Not a B & B, but a Stay and Spray.)

“See attached pigs under main photo” (See agent under bar stool.)

“Oggers presented at 6:00 pm” (Ah…a cotillion for trolls.)

“Watch the sun drip behind the mountains” (The ultimate in Global Warming.)

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“EZ access to fleeway” (A home near the Mexican border, no doubt.)

“Metriculous attention to detail” (Somehow I doubt that…)

“Living room offers pastural views” (Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam…)

“Stunned canyon views” (Stoned canyon agent.)

“Must call first – Private Celebrity Confound” (Exclusion and confusion!)

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“Real Hand tooled plastered walls” (And plastered agent is a real tool!)

“Dank room for fotos remolded and espanded” (Bring your own Lysol.)

“House has two car garbage” (A house on a landfill, I suspect.)

“Walls of grass lead to lush glassy yard” (Glassy eyed grass smoking lush should be lead to rehab.)

“Theatre comes with the house Speaker” (Nancy Pelosi will never give up her seat!)

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“Plantars included” (Bunions are extra.)

And NOW (drum roll, please)…It’s Awards Time! 

Honorable Mention: 

1) This week’s Best Spelling of the continually misspelled “Cul-de-sac”:  

“House located in coloredsac” (Ouch – I bet it’s black and blue!)  

2) This week’s Best Spelling of the continually misspelled “separate”:

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“Slepperite guest house on slopping lot” (Sloppy agent on a slepplery slope.) 


“Cook’s kitchen with breakfast nookie” (For those who want porn-in-the-morn.) 

AND THE BIG WINNER! (Cue the fireworks) 

Ad for a house on Broadway in Los Angeles: 

“You’ll love this house so much you’ll be singing “Give My Retards to Broadway!” (Enough said!)

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Fran Bailey

    October 23, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    How funny and sad at the same time! Proofreading should be part of the real estate licensing test.

  2. CJ Brasiel

    October 23, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    Thanks for the laugh! Double checking everything I type. : )

  3. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    October 23, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    OMG!! I swear I am laughing so hard now that I tears rolling down my face and my hubbie looking at me like I’m crazy – thanks for the laugh.

  4. Joe Loomer

    October 23, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    Didn’t sleep well last night – been kinda fighting off a bad mood all day – now thanks to you I’ve spit soda all over my monitor, fallen on the floor, and encountered some embarassing bladder issues. Thanks Gwen! Bad Mood Gone For Good!!

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride!

  5. Steve Babbitt

    October 23, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Thank for the Friday afternoon laugh! Those were “priceless”!

  6. Ken Brand

    October 24, 2009 at 9:18 am

    Laughing is good for the soul. Thanks for helping my health. You RULE!

  7. Atlanta Real Estate

    October 24, 2009 at 5:31 pm


  8. Gwen Banta

    October 24, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    Yes Fran…and perhaps an IQ section and sobriety test as well.

  9. Gwen Banta

    October 24, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Don’t check my spelling, C.J. – I once wrote “Brest Regards.”

  10. Gwen Banta

    October 24, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    You’re welcome, Ines. The MLS sometimes makes me cry, too.

  11. Gwen Banta

    October 24, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    I’m glad I could cheer you up, Joe…but I think your other issues are suspect. I think we all want to know where you were partying last night, right Geniuses? (And be sure to include directions.)

  12. Gwen Banta

    October 24, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    Thank YOU, Steve. I’ll be very sad if agents ever learn how to proofread…

  13. Gwen Banta

    October 24, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Thanks, Ken. Perhaps Obama should include the MLS in his health plan.

  14. Dorian Bennett

    October 25, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    These bloopers are the best which I will share with my agents. Thanks, Dorian Bennett

  15. Shea Bunch

    November 12, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    I now know where to find a good laugh. BTW, from someone that knows Joe, don’t blame yourself for his issues because they are many and far predate your writings.

  16. Gwen Banta

    November 12, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    Thanks, Dorian. Please be sure to send me any bloopers you come across in New Orleasns. – The laughter is universal.

  17. Gwen Banta

    November 12, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    Shea, that’s the best laugh I have had all week!

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