How do I spell thee? Let me count the ways… Apparently there are ways to spell words that neither Elizabeth Barrett Browning, nor we, ever knew about until Siri and Auto-fill entered our busy lives. Here are some hilarious bloopers to make you smell. Uh, I mean smile:
You Say Email, I Say Anal
“Email entire pkg with POF to eliminate waste” (Wouldn’t prunes be more effective?)
“Echo friendly graden” (Believe me, nothing you said is worth repeating.)
“7 units under contraption” (Reason # 1 not to build on the San Andreas Fault…)
“Stained grass” (This brings back fond memories of a Sigmi Chi party…)
“Just needs a spit shin” (The last time I spit on my shin was just before I stained the grass…)
No More Body Fluids Please
“Agressivly hamdling ran-off” (Frankly, dummy, it’s no wonder she ran off…)
“Drug rehap across scream” (I hope you’re planning on enrolling.)
“Really raid house” (Methinks you’ve toked a few roaches already.)
“Submit beast and final for fast response” (Yeah, when I let my buffalo loose in the house, he always gets a fast response…)
Persistant, Aren’t You?
“Pee approved” (Ad for the new Kohler toilet.)
“Call in vance” (Is Vance a hit man or are you just trying to hook me up?)
“Vig house” (What happens if I don’t pay the vig…Vance breaks my knee caps?)
“4 cart garage” (This must be a home in Ireland.)
“Beautiful new pint” (And yet another home in Ireland…)
“Freeway closet” (Another 500 sq’ apartment near the 405 Freeway in L.A. is up for sale, friends.)
Time to Flush Out The Pipes
“Crack filled, waste removed Tuesday” (If you can’t make it ’til Tuesday, I suggest a high colonic.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember, Spell Well and Sell!
