Did you ever wonder how some houses get sold? Scott Friedman just posted a great article, “What Sells a Home and Why Most Agents Won’t Like This Article.”
I concur with everything he said…but he should have added something about listing remarks. After all, some of the comments listed below would frighten even the most courageous buyers.
So here you are: THE GREAT UN-SELL!
Houses From Malfunction Junction
“Big tard out back.” (A big tard wrote this.)
“Hug garage” (A man must have written this.)
“Souring ceilings” (New on market – Miss Muffet’s house of curds.)
“Zoned for 2 swellings” (The Inflammation Proclamation.)
“Newly stained bedroom” (Newly married sellers.)
“Bi micro” (An appliance designed to please the wife and the hubby.)
“Furnace has new boils” (Source of Conflagration in the house of Inflammation)
Call 911!
“Seller admits to old & bad plumbing.” (Sadly, it happens to all of us…)
“Seller got new wiring he thinks” (A Lobotomy dichotomy?)
“Seller needs to move.” (Seller ate at a road side cart in Tijuana.)
“Seller says house has new brainage” (Apparently agent has no brainage.)
“House vacant, call for eazy abcess” (Pass the penicillin!)
“Must be linder approved” (Or what – there will be a truffle scuffle?)
Extras You Cannot Pass Up
“Builtin BBQ pot” (Smoke ‘em and toke ‘em)
“Shiny ammonimum floors” (Shiny seller with peeing problem!)
“Bonus in first moth” (Presenting the world’s smallest bonus…)
“Stereo system with five tones” (No wonder Best Buys went out of business.)
“House with laundrey shoot” (I see dead people.)
And my favorite:
“FHA. Need FICO. Fast COE wanted. Use foot covers when interring. Re no carpet staining” (Listing DOA, Staining S.U.S.P.I.C.I.O.U.S….CSI wanted – F.A.S.T….no S.H._T.!)
Thanks to Matt Stigliano and Gary Little for their great contributions!
