Thanks to Matt Stigliano of Re/Max, Patrick Martin of Sotheby’s International Realty, and Nashville Broker Grant Hammond for their contributions, and thanks to the MLS for such a great read!
Masters and Disasters
“Master will thrill you” (But his wife may shoot you…)
“Two hoses on a lot” (…And one hoser agent.)
“Grass tiles in shower” (Cows grazing in bathroom)
“Awe-expiring view” (House with killer views)
“Steal of a deal – House w/ flour rentals” (Take ‘n Bake)
Disease and Dis-ease
“Inflammation deemed reliable but not guaranteed.” (Try Neosporin.)
“Plaster in goof condition” (Goofy agent in plastered condition.)
“Fresh pain and carpet” (In case the payment isn’t painful enough)
“Good property for investigators” (Apparently the master thrilled the wrong person…)
“Good schools and really fiendly neighbors” (A house to die for.)
“Big lard – needs work” (Is “Big Lard” the seller?)
Sin…and More Sin
“Vue home – golfers paradice” (A strip club for Tiger?)
“Just off Benadick Canyon” (That sounds painful…)
“Hollywood Hills home – Enjoy the wild life” (Are we talking nature…or au naturale?)
“Charming stoned path leads to herb garden” (Charming herbs lead to stoned agent.)
“Extra bath motivated seller” (A seller who needs to lay off the roughage…)
“House near Sinset Blvd.” (News Alert: The sin never sets on Sunslut…I mean Sunset.)
The Mass Confusion Award Goes To (It’s a tie!):
“Back to the market the client not get approval from Lender. For washer and dryer included…elememtary at 2 blocks, 2 duplex, 4 units .proyect will be ready on 4 months . call for details listing agent . (Someone needs to go back to elememtary school.)
Not a short stale, this is a banked own home. IS AS Where As. Please bring all offers and write them on contracts. (Hey Mr. Short Stale: Is As, Where As, Is Ass, Whattup?)
(My brain just short circuited – I need to lie down now. See you next week!)
