Why Lovers and Others Leave?

Wonder Why Lovers and Others Leave?

Why prospects vanish?  Why calls go unreturned, emails go unanswered and text messages are ignored.  Why past clients list with another?  Why buyers bolt?  Why business is bleak?  

People give other people the Heave-Ho for 4 Unfed Human Needs

1.  People Seek SIGNIFICANCE

2.  People Crave CERTAINTY

2.  People Desire an IMPROVED STATE OF BEING 

4.  You’re Peachy-Keen, They’re KAPUT

These are must-have human needs.  If we don’t feed our loved ones, clients, friends and fans with Gestures and Actions that enrich and nourish a Sense Of Significance, Certainty and an Improved State of Being, they’ll bolt, they’ll find it elsewhere.

Gestures and Actions.

How to feed lovers and others is easy to understand but harder to do.  Well, it’s harder for me anyway, but I digress.  On the brighter side, efforts repeated, grove into habit.  Habits are easy.  

I’m reminded of the quote, “Practice doesn’t make perfect.  Perfect practice makes perfect.”  In the spirit of perfect practice and brighter side habits, below you’ll find a short list of alleged Gestures and Actions that probably  lead to a sense of significance.  

I’m rambling a bit, again,  but I’m reminded of another quote, about the Golden Rule 2.0, “Do onto others as they would have done unto themselves.”  My point,  the best Gestures and Actions are the ones THEY want, seek, crave and desire.  How do you know what those are?  Ask them.

In the meantime, between now and when you ask – here’s the semi-obvious list I mentioned earlier [some of these feed all three]:

SIGNIFICANCE

1. Be cool.
2. Return calls promptly.  At the very least, return them – sheeez, you’re not Mr. President or Ms. Madonna.
3. Send handwritten notes. No, email isn’t significant, we get a bajillion of those.
4. Leave blog comments. Say something, anything…even  if it’s just one word like, “Huh”, “Duh”, “Sweet”, “Correct”, “Amen” or ????
5. Recognize.  Appreciate.  Notice.
6. Say Thank You.
7. Don’t be stingy.  Be generous.
8. RT – ReTweet.
9. Listen more than you talk. Two ears, one mouth, etc.
10. Facebook “Comment”, “Share” and “Like”.  Don’t lurk around like Sling Blade.
11. Congratulate, encourage and support.
12. Engage and conversate when you don’t need anything.  Like Forrest Gump said, “For no particular reason at all…”.
13. Recommend on LinkedIn.  
14. Use their name. It’s not “babe”,  “buddy”, “dude”, “pal”, “lady”, “honey”, “hey you” or “hey man”.
15. Show genuine interest in their personal lives, hobbies, family, activities, etc..  Don’t be an “enough about you, let’s talk about me” fat head.
16. You own a beautiful smile, wear it.
17. Invite, include and share.
18. Don’t interrupt an in-person conversation to answer your cell and start another conversation = Fail.

CERTAINTY

1. Be authentic. Come correct.
2. Up-Create.
3. Be candid. Be calm. Be cool.
4. Know what you believe in/stand for, be comfortable articulating it and BE IT.
5. Keep your promises, do what you say you will, when you say you will.
6. Don’t gossip.  Keep secrets.
7. Don’t drink and drive.
8. Don’t drunk dial/text/tweet.
9. Don’t emotional meltdown.
10. Lead. Don’t limp.
11. Be on-time.
12. Keep your promises/commitments.
13. Don’t hold grudges or be a hater.

IMPROVED STATE OF BEING

1. Encourage. Embolden.  Empower.
2. Support.
3. Respect others. 
4. Apologize when appropriate.
5. Be Patient.
6. Learn, learn, learn, grow, grow, grow.
7. Share.
8. Compliment.
9. Don’t whine and wallow.
10. Smile.
11. Lighten up, play more, love more.
12. Gift with surprise chocolate or Starbucks or diamonds or shoes or power tools, or flowers or kind words or Apple stuff or attention or time.

KAPUT

We’ve all been here.  You’re fine.  They are selfish, cynical, abusive, mean, narcissistic, bitter, egomaniacal, cu-cu, loco, angry, disrespectful, lazy, irresponsible  – just plain broken.  They don’t love themselves so they can’t love others or accept the love of others.  Sadly, you and I can’t fix them.  We must leave them so we can love others.  

You and I?

Let me say “Thank You”.  Thank you for reading and sharing.  Rock ON.

PS.  If you have some to add to the list, that’d be cool, leave them in comments please.  

Clink-Cheers

Ken:-)

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Photo Credit: Satisfaction by ~AlvisHamilton on deviantART