I had a lot of laughs this week, friends – and most were unintentional. Perhaps the summer sun is causing lethargy. That’s the only excuse I could come up with to explain some of these moronic meanderings. Thanks to Allyson Hoffman for her great contributions from Chicago.
Bumps and Dumps
“Nice wart bar” (Frog Inspection highly recommended)
“Cards for dump included” (Wouldn’t tissue be less irritating?)
“No lame offers accepted” (This must be from the Lame Agent Rule Book…)
“Designd with Fang shui” (From the Caravan Guide For Listings That Bite)
“Pool to dye for!” (Uh-uh – I don’t whip out the Loreal for anyone but Clooney.)
Who Could Refuse These?
“Perfect for art correction” (Offered by Dominatrix Dorothy)
“Wonderful ocean freezes” ( …Isn’t that a bit hard on your manhood, Siberian Sam?)
“Must sell before labor” (This gives new meaning to “contractual obligations.”)
“Nice bean ceilings” (Are you also serving Chianti, Mr. Lecter?)
“Depressed wood floors” (You’d feel the same way if you had feet in your face every time you were in a horizontal position.)
“High-tech TB equip inc” (Yipee – I can have my very own sanitarium.)
“Mosaic of glob in foyer” (That’s probably what the seller expelled from his throat after seeing your spelling abilities.)
“House on end of peninisulim” (My condolences – that sounds terminal…)
“This home offers cure elegance” (Does it have a cure for idiocy?)
“Views of Point Doom” (Point Dume is in Malibu, pal – “Point Doom” is the top of your skull.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember, I’m always lurking with the Blooper Scooper!