Why work-life balance isn’t a reality for the self employed

It’s confession time…

Listening to a group of fellow freelancers discuss the illusive concept of work-life balance a few weeks made me realize just how out of control my own life had become. To be honest, the thought of work-life balance was part of the problem for me until I heard someone interrupt the conversation with the word “harmony.”

The reason work-life “balance” doesn’t work for me as a freelancer is because of the definition from Webster.

Balance: a state in which different things occur in equal or proper amounts or have an equal or proper amount of importance.

How on earth can any of us balance everything we have to do in equal portions? No wonder I felt like I was killing myself in order to achieve a concept that was pretty much only a dream.

Let’s rethink how this actually works

Even though we all understand subconsciously that it is impossible to distribute everything we have in our lives evenly, the word itself carries that meaning and is taken literally whether we admit it or not. In doing that I have seen a lot of guilt, depression, and oppression on ourselves to meet this unobtainable goal of balance.

Harmony, on the other hand, is exactly what we are actually striving for, based on this definition from good ol’ Webster.

Harmony: a combination of parts into a pleasing or orderly whole; congruity

Doesn’t a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity feel more realistic? Freelancers typically work a lot of hours, mostly because we enjoy what we do, but we still need human interaction, hobbies, and activities to keep us rejuvenated. Some weeks we may need more of one than another to keep ourselves in harmony – but we do not have to make sure we maintain an equal amount of everything.

Imagine harmony instead of equal balance

Imagine a week where you work only 30 hours and spend some time most days riding your bike, taking a short walk/hike in a nearby park, or having a cup of coffee (or a mimosa) with a friend to catch up on life and laugh. What would it feel like to take a couple hours and read a book once or twice a week?

Close your eyes and take a moment to envision activities to ignite your fire again each week. The beauty of this is it doesn’t have to be a huge undertaking to make a dramatic difference in your overall life. It’s about integrating all the pieces of life you enjoy instead of trying to make them all balance equally. 50% fun + 50% work is not the only option, and in fact it may not be a viable option at all. You could have a week of 100% fun and the next week 100% focused work, or you could find some other combination that works even better for you.

It doesn’t have to be a major undertaking

If you need more structure to your daily work-life harmony, you can design that in as well since that is a part of harmony for you. I have a little of that myself, so I usually take my mornings to create a structured agenda for work to be done and then let my afternoons be more free-flowing to allow for a bike ride or hike.

I often forget to even look up from my computer to create harmony between work and fun; it is the curse of freelancing for many. But you must! Burnout is quite frankly one of the worst experiences freelancing has to offer – harmony is the best way to achieve your goals and enjoy being a freelancer.

If you’re a freelancer, take a more holistic approach by integrating work-life harmony and watch your happiness and productivity increase while the guilt and depression fade away.

#WorkLifeHarmony