People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
ines
November 28, 2007 at 9:40 pm
have to go change my underwear….be right back!
Greg Swann
November 28, 2007 at 9:55 pm
Bravo! Excellent! Utterly priceless! My hat is off to you.
Wade Young
November 28, 2007 at 10:06 pm
Funny, but also important. Your post highlights the reasons that real estate agents are worthy of standard (or even premium) commissions. Real estate agents should include something humorous like this in the information they give to their clients so that their clients can appreciate the value that a real estate agent brings to the table. I have been guilty of bemoaning real estate commissions when listing my own home in the past. Sellers need to be more aware of what agents do on their behalf.
Benn Rosales
November 28, 2007 at 10:24 pm
Outstanding, I felt my hand rising as if to say, “hi, my name is Benn, and I’m an agent…”
Lani Anglin
November 28, 2007 at 10:31 pm
OMG this has to be the best article of the year!!! Sheer brilliance- when does your national “Realtard Comedienne” tour kick off?
Mariana
November 28, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Ines – Have fun with that …
Greg – Thank you!
Mariana
November 28, 2007 at 10:37 pm
Wade – That would be an interesting facet to the listing presentation, now wouldn’t it? LOL!
Hi Benn. We accept you.
Lani – RealTard Comedienne Tour ?!?!? … Oh Em Gee! I’m dying here …
Todd Carpenter
November 28, 2007 at 10:47 pm
I was a child of a real estate agent. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me.
Mariana
November 28, 2007 at 10:52 pm
There are support groups for you, Todd.
Benn Rosales
November 28, 2007 at 10:52 pm
Todd, PHDs will study you for generations…
Ron Ares
November 28, 2007 at 10:57 pm
That about sums it up. Is being an alcoholic a good or bad thing these days? Just wondering…
ines
November 28, 2007 at 11:24 pm
I think my literal translation does not quite sound right (thanks to Lani for making me think in Spanish). Now I’m embarrased (yes that’s possible Mariana)
Mariana
November 28, 2007 at 11:29 pm
… no. I don’t believe it!
Mariana
November 28, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Ron – Yeah, I have no idea anymore.
April Groves
November 29, 2007 at 3:49 am
OMG! This is getting printed out and posted at the office!
Maggie Dokic
November 29, 2007 at 5:30 am
Mariana, this has got to be my favorite piece of yours and you have some excellent ones! Bravo.
Missy Caulk
November 29, 2007 at 6:35 am
How about you have a hissy fit when AR is down for maintenance EST.
Jeremy Hart
November 29, 2007 at 6:58 am
Absolutely brilliant! Kept nodding my head … “yep, yep” … as the caffeine IV went “drip, drip”.
Mariana
November 29, 2007 at 8:44 am
April – Nice! I can imagine that it will be funny to some people and some will just “not get it…”
Maggie – Thank you!
Missy – #24A: You yell at your computer when AR is down for 45 minutes, forcing you to keep hitting the refresh button until your index finger goes numb…
Jeremy – Thanks! Coffee … Mmmm …
joe peffer
November 29, 2007 at 10:40 am
Uncanny, have you been following me around with a video camera all year? Nice Post Mariana
Jennifer Klaussen
November 29, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Mariana – you crack me up!!! Thanks for the chuckle! Jennifer
Mariana
November 29, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Joe – Yes. Yes I was.
Jennifer – Thanks!
Paula
November 29, 2007 at 8:50 pm
then you wake up and want to do it all over again…..is that a sickness or a career?
Dena Stevens
November 29, 2007 at 9:53 pm
I don’t care what you say #36 is just functional!
Robert D. Ashby
November 30, 2007 at 6:34 am
Great job. I think we need to do a mortgage version.
(#36)I like napkins as business cards sometimes (more space to write on). Besides, I did it a few times, everyone asked why I did it that way (conversation starter), and I got several calls months later from people who never threw them away because I got there attention and wrote something pertinent to their business on them. I must admit that I loved seeing the looks on peoples faces when I did it too.
Mariana
November 30, 2007 at 9:23 am
Paula – Um. Uh. Yeah. Both.
Dena – Hello! Exactly …
Robert – Well, I guess the challenge is on! Although I am sure that we share many of the same facets … other than the whole If-I-lie-on-my-loan-app-no-one-will-ever-know bit …
(We worked with a guy who had his dog reposessed …TWICE! Bad borrower. No loan for you!)
Joeann Fossland
December 2, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Love it! This would be a good primer for an agent thinking about whether they want real estate as a career!
Mariana
December 2, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Thanks Joeann. After reading this I bet we would see a large influx of “Ah, never mind”‘s in RE School…
Brian Wilson
December 3, 2007 at 12:36 pm
This is great, Mariana! Good luck on the Odysseus!
Brian Wilson, Zolve.com
Mariana
December 3, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Hi Brian – Thanks. April just wrote about your Zolve Project. Once I figure out how many communities I already belong to, I may look into it … 😉 Until then, Good Luck!
walidm
December 10, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Funny, 24 & 25 had me laughing out loud….and the picture of the pile of paper – Classic.
Good stuff 🙂
walidm
http://www.walidmRealtor.com
Mariana
December 10, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Thanks!
Ginger Wilcox
January 29, 2008 at 6:18 pm
LMAO. Check, check, check! I am a 3rd gen agent. Definitely been there. Absolutely classic. Give this to anyone thinking of getting into the biz!
Mariana
January 29, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Hi Ginger! I work with a lot of new agents and this is now one of my standard hand outs … LOL!
Molly Hadley
February 6, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I’m home-unemployed having given up my license to be a full time nanny for my grandchildren-your list reminds me why I so miss real estate -#36 full gloss, turquoise, and techy rainbow stripes on front with a pure white matte finish on back for the builder in his truck/buyer/postman/phone number/gate code/street address/listing agent phone number/lockbox code/parcel id #/brother in laws out of town address/mother’s maiden name/blackberry techsupport number.
Mariana
February 14, 2008 at 7:04 pm
LOL @ Molly! So true!
Jennifer Hart
March 20, 2008 at 3:05 pm
You just made my day! I hope you don’t mind that I am going to print this and have it handy for those much needed moments of laughter. This is a crazy career and no one understands unless they are in the biz.
Love your sense of humor!
Jeannette
April 1, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I am LMAO right now. How true so many if not all that is!!
Mariana
April 2, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Jennifer – Thanks! Laughter is so important – especially in our business.
Jeannette – Thank you! 🙂
Marc Rasmussen
April 25, 2008 at 1:45 pm
LMAO….I love this post!! So true.
Sue
April 25, 2008 at 3:12 pm
I am printing this out as well!! This is so funny and so true. I actually just had business cards printed with something on the back and I DO miss being able to jot down on note on them.
Judy
May 11, 2008 at 7:20 am
One of my agents just sent this to me – I haven’t laughed so hard in so long!!!! Thank you!!
Mariana
May 14, 2008 at 8:08 am
Marc, Sue and Judy – Thanks!
Robin
May 23, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Mariana, someone emailed this to me and would not tell me about it. They just told me it was a must read. He was right. Where did you come up with this? Brilliant!
Vickie Nagy
May 23, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Just too precious! Thanks for taking the time to let your creative genious flow!
Rob Graham
May 23, 2008 at 4:57 pm
You had me at alcoholic, you had me at alcoholic. (sniff)
Mott Kornicki
May 23, 2008 at 5:04 pm
I think I’ll have another Rum & Coke!
It’s all true.
Frank Bailey
May 23, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Very good, and very true!!
Maria
May 23, 2008 at 6:22 pm
I am a new agent, and you are scaaaring me! But this is truly funny. I am up for the challenge? I dont know, but I do love Mojitos 🙂
Mariana
May 23, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Robin – Thank you. This is my life … There HAS to be humor in it. I just put it in list form.
Vickie – Thank you. I had fun putting it together, but I could very easily add to it every day…
Rob – LOL! No tears, though …
Matt – Make mine a diet!
Frank – Oh yes … Very true.
Maria – I didn’t mean to scare you! Mojitos … Mmmmm …
Susan
May 23, 2008 at 10:20 pm
It is humorous actually when you put it on paper and very true. I had no idea at first as it takes a while to have the opportunity to enjoy all these experiences. And yes, a drink now and again and again provides a bit of relief. 🙂
Holly White
June 12, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I almost pee’d my pants! My team and I were together when we read this. Big laughs! Every single line applied to us, and sometimes on multiple occasions. The line where the investor lived in an apartment was hysterical! Big T for Trash! 🙂
And I’m like Norm from Cheers when it comes to Starbucks!
Great writing Mariana! You should do stand up if the real estate thing falls through!!
Mariana Wagner
June 13, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Susan – The longer I am in the business … the more I can add to this list!
Holly – No stand up for me .. but thanks!!
Susan
June 13, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Mariana, how about this one for your list…
Your boyfriend of 7 years (Ivy League graduate) walks into a sales office for new construction without you, doesn’t even mention you and puts in an offer on a $1M townhome, then says he didn’t realize…..
Mariana Wagner
June 22, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Susan – oh … no … ouch.
Susan
June 24, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Yes, it was a big ouch for him!! I think I was in the state of shock at first. Classic example of how someone can be very smart in one way and…well…not as much in another. He cancelled the deal 😉 thank goodness, but it was close. It was in attorney review.
Mariana Wagner
July 13, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Funny- I have recently had this post sent to me, telling me to read it, because it was so funny. LOL!!
Sue
July 14, 2008 at 11:30 am
Thats funny, and quite a compliment. I bet whoever sent was surprised to hear that you WROTE IT!!! It is priceless, even when revisited a second an third time.
Justin in Kauai
July 22, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Absolutely hilarious!
Proxy
July 26, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Very funny, number 14 has to be my favorite! 🙂
Nicole Boynton
July 29, 2008 at 9:30 am
My best one is when you sell a house in 2 days with multiple offers and a week before closing it burns down…True!
Mariana Wagner
July 29, 2008 at 9:44 am
Justin – Thanks!
Proxy – #14 is a definitely a winner.
Mariana Wagner
July 29, 2008 at 9:45 am
Nicole – Oh no… I can’t even imagine how lovely THAT transaction was. Hope no one was hurt!
Suzanne Gantner
July 29, 2008 at 2:29 pm
You have made my year, that is the truest depiction of my life I have ever seen. That is hilarious!! I showed a home today with a lady asleep in one of the bedrooms when we walked in, that was a first for me, especially since the home was supposed to be vacant… Loved it!!
Sue
July 30, 2008 at 9:52 pm
I was showing a place and…lets just say, it needed “alot” of work. My client and I were discussing this very candidly while in the home. As we were standing in the living room, I went to put my hand on the end of the couch and found myself holding a foot! Turns out there was a person sleeping on the couch completely covered by a blanket. My eyes just got big as I looked at my client and quickly pulled my hand back. He got it right away. I didn’t even wake the sleeping seller…. 🙂
Mariana Wagner
July 31, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Suzanne and Sue – The last time I was in a house that was supposed to be vacant or empty and I accidentally stumbled upon a sleeping person, I screamed. They woke up and yelled at us for being in their house … later to find out that it wasn’t even their house.
Chrissy Moock
August 3, 2008 at 1:54 pm
This is hilarious! But yet, a few true points- that is the scarey part!
Linsey Planeta
August 3, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Thanks for some needed comic relief. I loved it!!!
Sheila Bragg
August 3, 2008 at 3:18 pm
I love it! I’m sharing with everybody I know. 🙂
Sue
August 5, 2008 at 10:45 pm
This could go on for who knows how long, I mean with each week that passes by we have new and exciting stories to share…..maybe it’ll become a book.
Mariana Wagner
August 13, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Chrissy – For me it is ALL too true…
Linsey- Thanks!
Sheila – Cool!
Sue – a book? … hmmmm … interesting.
Mariana Wagner
August 22, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I must amend #2… Thanks to @ines…
Your monthly cell phone bill arrives in a BOX, delivered by UPS… LOL!
Ruthie V
August 28, 2008 at 9:46 am
Mariana,
This is GREAT! Found it by mistake and LOVE it (so do the other agents in the class we are in right now!)
Hope you’re having a great time at Mega Camp…
Mariana
August 31, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Ruth! Nice to see you here … You should check back here more often. Agent Genius is PACKED full of great articles.
Chrissy Moock
September 23, 2008 at 1:06 pm
I had to come back and visit this…. I think everything on the list applies to my day today 🙂
Lesley
September 26, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Do you FOLLOW me? This was my life on parade, loved it!
Gordon Baker
September 27, 2008 at 6:03 pm
The reason this is so funny is because it is so true!
Mariana Wagner
September 27, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Chrissy – SO much applies to my life EVERY day.
Mariana Wagner
September 27, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Lesley – LOL. no …
Gordon – I swear! All of it is so true!
Tina Merritt
October 6, 2008 at 5:48 am
I am lughing so hard rioght now I can barely type (see???). Thank you!!!
Colorado Real Estate by Kathy Torline
October 17, 2008 at 4:07 pm
#86 — definitely made me chuckle. Maybe every new agent should read this before they get in the business.
Mark Brian
February 3, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Really worried about #38 since she has already said she would never get into real estate!
Matt Stigliano
February 3, 2009 at 2:24 pm
You know you’re a real estate agent if…
…you rushed over here to read this because @LaniAR mentioned it on Twitter and you just had to know what it said (I actually remember reading this one).
Lani Rosales
February 3, 2009 at 2:41 pm
@rerockstar lol, Matt! That’s awesome. I’m ready for Mariana to do a 2009 version!
Dan O'Halloran
February 3, 2009 at 2:54 pm
freaking hilarious and so so true! @LaniAR thanks for tweeting this…will be sending it to my whole office
Mariana Wagner
February 3, 2009 at 7:08 pm
LANI! My ears were ringing … Did you tweet this? LOL! 2009 version … Hmmm…
MIssy Caulk
October 26, 2009 at 10:15 pm
You too? 🙂
Calgary Real Estate by Chris
October 29, 2009 at 3:28 am
Hilarious, and unfortunately… true.
Jim Lambert
October 30, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Why did you leave out the other 60 reasons? I would comment more but I have to go get a drink.
Donna Clayton Lloyd
November 15, 2009 at 10:31 am
Here in Fayetteville/FT. Bragg NC— this is the life of a REALTOR in perfect detail — with more details to come. I am glad we can laugh and also very grateful for all the benefits this crazy life yields. Thanks for this one. It’s going in my FAVORITES box!
Grant in Nashville
February 11, 2010 at 10:10 am
Your cell phone battery has to be replaced every 6 months!