The Time Crunch
“No appointments before 9 pam” (You must be on Wrong Coast Time.)
“No showings after dak” (So after Dak, is every other guy a disappointment?)
“Please tex me” (What were you expecting – a big hat and a saddle?)
“No calls at diner please” (While you’re there, pick me up a ham on rye.)
“Blackout cretins” (Have they considered joining AA?)
The Lunch Bunch
“Chinese for lunch” (Did you marinate them first?)
“Free Giveaway – No charge to Enter” (Deja vu all over again.)
“Bird talks – don’t respond” (If I do, will he tell on me?)
“Busy agent needs assing” (That’s an overstatement of the obvious.)
The Wrong Hunch
“Furniture is negligible” (You say that now, but just wait until you have to sleep in a tub.)
“Ask about income poverty” (That’s an oxymoron, moron.)
“Rags just shampooed” (Is that code for “I just washed my husband’s dirty boxer shorts?)
“Hurry Buyer backed up” (Was your head under his tire”)
The Daily Double
“I up date daily” (Nope…I’m not touching this one!)
“Come open!” (If that’s your attempt at foreplay, you really suck.)
