How to Annoy your Visitors
While perusing real estate blogs today, I came across one that had implemented a chat feature.
In and of itself, this is nothing revolutionary. Google Talk, Meebo, Plugoo and similar chat solutions are scattered all across the blogiverse.
I’ve tried a few such solutions and have had mixed results. I like the concept, where they fail is in my execution. Seems I have a proclivity of leaving the chat live when I’m away from the computer. This results in chat conversations like this:
Visitor: Hi, can you help me?
Me: {insert sound of chirping crickets in visitors mind}
Visitor: Hello?
Me:
Visitor: Hello???
Me:
Well, you get the idea. To leave a chat function that says something akin to “CHAT WITH ME NOW LIVE!” and not be around to engage in said chat is a bad idea.
How to REALLY Annoy your Visitors
Enter the chat solution I saw today on a blog that shall remain unnamed.
As the blog post was loading, the rather distracting image you see above entered on screen left, proceeded to scroll across the screen to the right side, where it then reversed course and resumed its slow, agonizing trek back across the screen – all the while obscuring everything in its path. I did what I suspect 80% of visitors do and reached for the mouse to click “No Thanks”.
I read the post I was interested in, and clicked to close the window.
And here is where it got interesting.
To my surprise, when I clicked to close the window, a pop-up window appeared — apparently throwing me into a chat with the site owner. This despite the fact I’d already expressed that I was not interested in chatting.
Here’s how that chat conversation looked:
Richard Says: Please type ‘HI’ or ‘HELLO’ in the space below to let me know you’re there…
At this point, I paused in disbelief at the audacity of someone forcing a chat on me. Swiftly the “chat” resumed:
Richard Says: Are you there? I have an exclusive list of available homes not listed in the Realtor MLS system. Type ‘HI’ or ‘HELLO’ if you’re interested to receive this FREE list.
About this time, I think there is close to a 100% probability that a site visitor would be thoroughly disgusted, leave the site, and never return. I on the other hand thought it might be interesting to carry on a conversation. So I replied:
Me: No interest what so ever. Looking for a less pushy realtor
Richard Says: Hi 😉 To receive your FREE list, CLICK HERE and let me know exactly what you’re looking for. I’ll respond as soon as I get your information. It will only take a few seconds!
Me: Wow, what part of “less pushy” don’t you get? Or is this some automated chat?
Richard Says: Because I’m an automated virtual chat service, I’m unable to answer your questions at this time. If you need further assistants (sic), please call me xxx-xxx-xxxx. You can also CLICK HERE to send me your contact info. It’ll only takes a few seconds!
Richard Says: To view all available homes including bank owned, short sales, and pre-foreclosure homes, visit: https://ApparenltyImClueless.com (Author note: this is not the actual domain of course)
Me: You really may want to reconsider this auto chat thing. It reeks of smarmy desperation. And without being able to answer questions, well, it’s beyond worthless.
From the “What Were You Thinking?” Files
An “automated virtual chat service”? Are you kidding me?
It’s true. This “feature” is offered through MoxieChat. For a fee ranging from $29.95 to $149.95 per month, MoxieChat will give you the tools to add this staggeringly obnoxious service to a web site or blog. They claim to employ “artificial intelligence” which allows “chats” to be conducted between your site visitors and . . . well . . . a piece of software.
While I have yet to figure it out, I suppose there are some applications for this sort of thing that might work well. But in real estate, where you are trying to engage people on a personal level, I think it is. . . how do you say it? Ridiculous? Pathetic? Stupid?
Engaging your site visitors is a terrific idea. Forcing a “chat” on them AFTER THEY’VE SAID BOTH “NO THANKS” AND CLICKED OFF YOUR SITE is beyond my comprehension. Do people really think this sort of pushy tactic works? It reminds me of the old story of the door-to-door salesman sticking their foot in the door so you can’t close it. Believe me, if I’ve rejected your chat offer and clicked off your site, I‘m done. Popping up windows, deceitfully implying that you are on the other end of the internet offering to help, none of that is going to compel me to use your services.
In fact, I can’t think of anything that would turn me off more and ensure I don’t come back to your site again. Ever.
But maybe that’s just me.
