Highlights

“New bd pans inc” – Making a Splash on the MLS

I have two things to say this week: 1. When you drink, you can’t think. 2. When you drink you can’t- … uh,...

My secret office organization tip – Sharpies and tape

If you're still practicing to be OCD, here is a secret I don't typically share with anyone, but I'm willing to share...

Lenders, Liars and Losers – Observations of a Humorist

I don’t know about you, but I am on the verge of a breakdown. Why? Because I am so frustrated with the...

“Don’t crab appraise” – something’s fishy on the MLS

Ya’ know folks, I think I should get paid for being Captain of the MLS Police Force. I have so much activity that...

“Toke All Offers” – And Other Colorful MLS Propositions

There’s a party going on, and somehow – thanks to the MLS – we all got invited. Call me mellow yellow, but...

Lowering the bar – resolutions of a humorist

Aaaraugh! This is the time of year when we are faced with New Year’s resolutions, and I am hopelessly stumped. I try...

“Priced to Cell” and other MLS dingalings

What a week – the fun never stops when it comes to MLS bloopers! Thanks to the always funny Matt Stigliano of Texas and...

Caught With Your Pants Down? (MLS Bloopers)

Well, friends, it was a rough week in real estate advertising and MLS listings. Pants were dropped, illegal substances were aplenty, and...

The Devil Made Me Do It! (MLS Mayhem)

Ahhh…the Blooper Trooper is ba-a-a-ck! I simply never run out of material thanks to the MLS, the LA Times and other print...

“Gas not corrected” and other MLS stinkers

This week’s MLS and real estate ads had a distinct odor, friends. From gas to dryrot, it seems homes are becoming offensive....

“Here Today, Goblin Tomorrow!” MLS Humor

It’s getting closer to Goblin Day, friends, so I thought I’d show you some of the Halloween treats provided by our always...

A pig and a poke (The MLS “Menu”)

This week I actually got hungry reading the MLS and the LA Times real estate ads. Check out these bloopers so you...

“The veews will blow youre mind” – MLS screw ups

Well, folks, I spent another week scanning the MLS and local ads while laughing my a__ off. This week’s bloopers include some very...

Offers you cannot-a refuse-uh [MLS Gaffes]

Here we go again, friends – more howls this week because agents can’t spell, or they have “ham fingers” at the keyboard,...

“WHAT A DUMP!” Bette Davis and the MLS

I must need a rest from the Rubik’s Cube that is the MLS and the real estate ad world. I am beginning...

House Haunting- MLS Tricks and Treats

Halloween may be a month away, but the MLS , the LA Times, and our local real estate magazines never disappoint. This...

Real Estate Rabble – Translators Needed!

I’m calling ITT Tech. It’s time they establish a course for translators for the MLS. Often the listings I see are so...

Home on De-Range – MLS Mayhem

My dear readers, friends, colleagues and fellow inmates: Please think before you participate in MLS-Speak. If you don’t, you’ll come off like...

Last bastion of obfuscation – real estate marketing lacks transparency

Take a Critical Look When was the last time you have taken a critical look at your marketing plan? Not in terms...

Don’t Say it Just Because You Thunk It

How well have you kept up with our rapidly changing business, friends? There are certain phrases we have all heard in real...

The New Language of Un-Real Estate

Welcome to the New World. Recently a colleague and I were discussing all the changes we have witnessed since entering the wacky...

Pitches with hitches to keep you in stitches

Ahhh, summer daze… It has been a wild week on the MLS, friends. The hot summer days must be causing heat stroke...

Sell It or Smell It – MLS Pandemonium

Ah, yes, folks – it was a great 4th with sunshine, bar-be-ques, brewskies, and enough grammar and spelling pandemonium on the MLS...

Gary V – I disagree! Vaynerchuk’s advice could hurt agents

Inman Connect NYC This article was originally published on January 15, 2009 as author Brandie Young’s debut post that stirred things up...

Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Willis? (MLS laughs)

I’ve been out of town awhile, but the MLS has not let me down in my absence. Like a confused turkey, the...

Rub-a-dub, a cow in a tub… more MLS disasters

Usually I have to skip a week to gather enough material for my MLS blooper review, but this past week was especially...

“Smell” this house! – more MLS laughs

This week’s MLS was a whole bag ‘o crazy. Seriously, there should be a movie. I doubt if even Tina Fey could...

Death By Real Estate

Real Estate Epitaphs - Humor

Weird Dwellings & Misspellings – The MLS

MLS Bloopers

The most spectacular streets of L.A.

$wimming Pools, Movie $tars…and $treets of Gold! Hey friends – instead of a humorous look at the MLS this week, I wanted...

The MLS – With Zest!

Well, it didn’t take long to collect a few more MLS typos that are real hooters…uh, I mean “hoots.” Take heed when typing, friends,...

Real Estate Karaoke at the Redhead Lounge

In case you missed all the fun, last week I hosted a virtual real estate discussion in the Redhead Lounge. This second...

Three Geniuses Walk Into a Bar…

Folks, I have compiled the first in a series of helpful discussions between three leaders in our industry…and moi – the...

A Brief History of L.A. & “Venchuro” Highway…or Maybe Not

It’s amazing to me how so many agents cannot spell the names of the towns and areas they represent. I, of course,...

From the AG Flickr Pool – Real Estate Office Pictures

AG’s Flickr Group In the Agent Genius Flickr Pool, real estate professionals from across the nation (and of course Canada) are invited...

Could You Unload This Mutant Lemon?

Attention all salespersons: It’s time to take a test to determine how good a salesperson you really are. Could you sell a...

Real Estate ‘n’ Los Angeles – “We Love It!”

For quite some time I have been collecting misspelled names of people and well-known places in our area. Sometimes the misspellings...

The MLS Whoopee Cushion

Beware all agents: My loyal spies and I are watching everything you put in print. Why? Because real estate ads can be...

“Stable Area – Avoid Sinkhole”

If you thought the MLS was full of color and confusion, check out these gems from area newspapers and online real...

The MLS Comic Review – I’m Baaaack!

Well folks, we have started off the New Year with a bang…or is it a bong? The MLS and the Real Estate...

Public Accountability for My Resolutions- Humor

Ahhhh, yes…2009 was a very long year. Many of us were bruised and battered, and a few even required tourniquets. Some...

The Real Estate Party Circuit- Real Estate Humor

Happy New Year, one and all! Many of you probably enjoyed some great office parties over the holidays. The best part for...

8 Reasons Dogs Shouldn’t Sell Real Estate

I love my dog – I truly do. Sophie has been my dedicated companion for almost fifteen years. To me, everything she...

The MLS – Blooper Encore!

Usually I have to wait several weeks to accumulate enough fodder from The MLS to fill a blooper blog, but this week...

Real Estate, the French, and the Hollywood “Bowel”

Believe it or not, last week there actually was an ad in the MLS Caravan Express announcing a house where you could...

Real Estate – Play That Funky Music

Isn’t it interesting how a person can hear a song and feel as though it were written just for them? Nietzsche said,...

Real Estate and Literature – Imitation is Flattery

Are you tired of being kicked around just because you’re a real estate agent? Do you feel dissed and misunderstood? Does your...

Dog Bites Agent: Dog Treated For Shock

Funny Commentary on Characters to Avoid in the World of Real Estate

A Day of In the Life of a Hollywood Real Estate Agent

A Day in the Life of A Hollywood Real Estate Agent - From Sharks to Shrapnel

Wish I Said That!

Hilarious comments overheard in real estate.

Love Me a Little…But Just a Little

This story made me laugh so hard that I spewed egg salad on the person who told it to me. The story...

Fonts Enhance Your Marketing

Originally published here on 01/25/2009: Typography as Art My affinity for typography began at a very early age as I watched my...

Real Estate Agents Beware: Cute Kids Are Lurking!

Agents, beware! We all know children are darn cute…but they can do more damage than a Claymore mine. They are lurking...

Real Estate Caravan From Hell Revisited

A few months ago I told you about the caravan with bats in the fireplace, but this story would make you wish...

Words to Avoid in Real Estate

YIKES! This post in UnReal Estate was inspired by a recent conversation with an agent who told me that the house on...

Lions & Tigers & Bears, Oh My!

Recently I have heard some hilarious tales of wild animal capers at open house events. Many of these anecdotes come from my...

Real Estate News Bits

This week was a very busy cluster of reports released ranging from government reports to U-Haul reports (yeah, it's real) and it...

Blunders & Bladders

Disasters in Un-Real Estate: Have you ever had anything go awry at an Open House? C’mon – tell the truth – I...

New Kids on the Tech – where to start? [Dear Ginny WTH?]

Hi Ginny WTH, I am a top producer in my market of about 500 Realtors. I am overwhelmed by all the electronic...

Mass Media – Relevance or Noise?

It seems that whenever I speak with someone about the real estate market, they end up quoting some national media’s latest story on the real...

“My Listing Isn’t Good Enough for Pictures”

I thought we all agreed As I sit here, working on some training material, I am listening to my wife go through...

Keep the Social in Social Media Marketing

Social Media is hot! If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you probably are familiar with the benefits of permission based...

Acting CFO Freddie MAC Found DEAD – BREAKING STORY

VIENNA, Va. (WUSA) — David Kellermann, Acting Chief Financial Officer and Senior Vice President of Freddie Mac, was found dead this morning....

Bitterness Sucks

Life can be so cynical – right after I wrote 10 Don’ts of Social Media I went through an extremely uncomfortable yet...

A Simple Question: MLS and Responsibility

Fiduciary Responsibility, Laws and Morals I’ve been panning this question in both hemispheres of my brain: “Does MLS actually fulfill the fiduciary...

I Call that Extortion

- Well, if you don't I'll send them to one of the other two Realtors I have been speaking to in your...

There is No “I” in “Team”

But it Seems There is a “Me” The concept of teams in real estate is not a new one, but it is...

Viral Marketing Gems

The absolute worst way to go viral is to be ordinary. Fortunately, over the past week I’ve been part of some very...

Meeting Clients in Digital Land

Meeting in Digital Land Many times we rely on digital communications to establish a customer relationship before face to face is welcomed....

10 DON’Ts of Social Media

So many rules, so many people telling us what to do, so why would we listen if the medium is so new...

Only a Realtor Without a Personal Brand Would Say This

Do you agree? Recently, I saw someone say something on Twitter that I disagree with. Watch the video above and share your...

The Recession is Good for Communities

For the established neighborhoods that are in turnover mode, perhaps new people will (get this) move in and stay for a while...

Friends. Faux Friends. Gougers and Moochers.

Friends Are Good Does simply saying I’m your “Friend” make me your “Friend”? Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What you do speaks so loudly...

Hats Off To NAR

Please welcome our newest writer and 2008 Commenter of the Year at Agent Genius as voted by the writers, Bob Wilson of...

The First Step In Building Is The Foundation

I’ve been working on building an empire. It’s still in the very early stages, in fact it’s still a long way off...

Does Size Matter?

How Big is Your… …following? Is it more important to have a lot of people following you on Facebook or Twitter, or...

How’s Business? Please Don’t Snore Me!

When Scurrying… Ever search high and low for your reading glasses. . . realizing your wearing them? Ever scamper up and down...

Don’t Forget Your Shoes

Creatures of habit Basketball referees, all sports officials, are creatures of habit. We tend to do the same thing the same way...

Twitter is for Losers!

Got your attention? Before you kill the messenger, please note: I didn’t say it!! This was a comment from an individual (dubbed...

Are Email Campaigns Still Effective? [Dear Ginny, WTH?]

“Dear Ginny, WTH?” which is like a “Dear Abby” column for real estate objections. If you have a tough client or a...

Ignorance + Lack of Management = $300K Mistake

At one point or another, all of us have thought, “Man! That agent has no clue what they’re doing!” or “I can’t...

Un-Real Estate – A Satirist’s Perspective

Please take a moment to welcome our newest writer, Gwen Banta, Los Angeles Realtor and the Sherlock of Homes. She’s got a...

Need More Lipstick!

Despite reality, sellers (& buyers) remain emotional on price Homegain recently conducted a survey of 700+ Realtors® nationwide, the results of which...

Secrets? What Secrets?

I recently agreed to give a four hour presentation as part of a technology day that is being put on by our...

Is Social Media Missing the Mark?

The buzz over social media is at near deafening proportions in the REnet (and everywhere else) and I contribute to that noisy...

The Best Canceled Listing Agreement EVER

Our team has been averaging about 10 new listings a month. Because of our Certified Distressed Property Expert designation, about 1/3 of...

Fighting Armchair Quarterbacking [Dear Ginny, WTH?]

Please welcome our newest writer, Ginny Cain McMurtrie, Bay Area marketing specialist with over 10 years of real estate focus. We would...

MLS Fail Shots [Episode 01]

Please welcome our newest writer, Chris Griffith! Chris practices real estate in Bonita Springs, Florida and is fondly known as @Twitterzilla per...

Why Market Data Matters Now More Than Ever

Please welcome AG’s newest contributor Mike Simonsen, CEO and Co-Founder of Altos Research, which offers live real-time real estate research. Mike is...

Follow Me on My Quest – Say No to Bad Photos & Virtual Tours

My Quest: This is my quest, to rid the real estate world of bad photos and awful virtual tours! Recently taught for...

Undressed and Naked, Less Noodling and More Canoodling Explained.

The Moment You Knew The moment you knew you’d passed your real estate exam, how’d you feel? I was giddy, fearful...

Women – A Niche to Consider

They Represent (at least) One out of Five of Your Potential Clients I’m not sure who first came up with the idea...

The Fraud Witch-Hunt Will Begin Soon. Are You Safe?

“Fraud” “Fraud” is a powerful yet, often overlooked word by some real estate agents and brokers. The crazy thing is that one of...

Two Paths

One of my favorite poems while growing up was the often quoted, ‘The Road Not Taken’ by Robert Frost. My grandfather, a...

5 Ways To Keep Your Website From The SUCK

Can you hear that noise? It’s the sound of a website sucking away an agent’s time, energy, and money. It may even...

Save the Badges for the Webelos

On My Honor, I’ll Do My Best … Somewhere in my house I have one or two pins left from my days...

The Golden Rule Is Broken

The Golden Rule 1.0 It was 44 years ago. I was 8. Our steel chairs were painted shiny brown, my tiny butt...

Psst! Want to Buy Some Technology?

Salvation … or Sellers of Snake Oil? You can’t swing a dead cat these days without hitting yet another new company, enhanced...

Putting The Brand to the Test

Fast Company said earlier this year in an article titled The Brand is You : ... being CEO of Me Inc. requires...

Face Reality: I Don’t Have to Do Anything

Keep Your Have To To Yourself There’s a lot of “have to” being thrown around these days. And I’m not even including...

The 3 People Principle

The Mysterious Magic Of 3 3 Genie Wishes. 3 Bears. 3 Musketeers. 3 Blind Mice. 3 Stooges. MP3. Holy Trinity. 3 Magic Beans. 3...

All Eyes & Ears

Big Brother Big Brother is watching you… Yeah, you’re going to come across this article and think I’m talking about an employer...

Lie To Me? I Saw You Twitch…

Whatever You Do, Don’t Blink I don’t watch a lot of tv, mainly because I have a short attention span, and something...

How To Create Client Videos That Sell

Creating Killer Videos “Of course you’d tell me that, you want my business.” Yup, our efforts at creating credibility can only take...

Numbers DO Lie!

At least they don’t always tell the entire story. I can say that. I’m a marketer. At the risk of sounding Machiavellian, it’s our...

Fear Of A Blog Planet

How in the world did I get here? I am loving the world of blogging. I walk down the street and think...

Inman News Plans Objective View of Real Estate Commissions

The future of commission-based real estate This morning, the message was sent out via Twitter that Inman News in February will be...

9 High-Tech, Low-Drag Tools For Daily Use

My love affair with technology is no secret. Heck, I make a living on the internet so it’s tough not fall prey...

Leaving on a Jet Plane? A Vacation Lesson for Agents

Please welcome Agent Genius’ newest contributor Brian Block (you’ll love his bio at the end of this article). He’s a Realtor hailing...

The 100th Monkey Effect

Do You Know Ze’ Monkey? Are you familiar with The 100th Monkey Effect? The notion that you and I, yours, mine and...

The Blog or the Newspaper?

Reporters looking for drama Some of the posts on my business blog get the attention of local media and the reporters call. ...

How Obama Can Sell Real Estate

Our new president Barack Obama can sell a lot of things. He sold the nation on his taking the Oval Office. His...

Trust me, I’m a PROFESSIONAL

Just do what I tell you and send me a check I’ll be the first to admit I don’t always hire a...

Get Word of Mouth – FAST

Learning from the big boys Big companies were at one time someone’s idea. Whether you want to grow to 50 or 5,000, take...

Puzzled By LinkedIn

Sign up and fuggedaboutit Not sure if it was at REBarCamp or at Inman Connect a couple of weeks ago…but the discussion...

4 Questions To Avoid Empty Opportunities

One of the biggest insights I’ve gained while coaching folks over the years is that there’s a big difference between a business...

Self Shh! Is Suicidal

Do Not Self Shh! Conversate. Do you ever feel like you’re working harder than a Lucifer humming bird flaps her wings and...

Avoiding The Green Reaper

Am I Fooling Myself? I can find a thousand things to do to make the day go by. I get an A...

New Conversations About Your MLS

The possibilities are endless The MLS Track at Inman Real Estate Connect left my mind spinning with the possibilities that are ahead...

Foundation of Business Model Arguments Subject to Earth Fissures

Let me clear my throat … check one, two … Late last week I received an inquiry from a prospective buyer in...

Avoid the 7 Deadly Sins of Real Estate

I have been watching the History Channel’s series on the 7 Deadly Sins, and it got me to thinking about real estate....

Where Is Gen Y?

So we’ve all heard at least one place that Generation Y is huge, important, young, arrogant, etc. I’m Gen Y and I’m...

Are you A-1 or Heinz 57?

As agents we have a responsibility to help our clients I’m all for doing whatever I can to help my clients not...

Communication Ain’t What it Used to be

My post title is just wrong and I am not just talking about the word “ain’t”. Communication has not changed at all....

20% Drop in Number of Realtors?

20% of more than a million is a big number… Today, I read that the number of Realtors in this country is...

The Power of Relationships & Influencers – Industry is the Antisocial Part 2

Are You The Antisocial? In part one, we discussed the antisocial at some length, and for good reason. In social media there...

Super Hero Style or Yawn, Shrug and Muggle?

“What makes a good agent?” You and I could write a multi-chaptered book about the answer. Maybe we will someday. In...

The Power of Relationships & Influencers- Social Endorsement- Part I

When We Gauge Value Almost every day, a person or product lands in front of me and you and we’re left with...

It’s a New Year, Baby!

Reflecting on a Year to Remember I’m a New Year’s Baby, so I’m allowed to be melancholy and introspective at the turning...

What If You Died?

- Consult a lawyer about what steps need to be taken to transfer ownership of accounts - domain hosting isn't free, and...

Alienation or Education – What’s your Point!?!?

What’s your value? Recently there have been a number of indicators that my personal reservations, have been appropriate. I’ve been trying to...

60 Minutes’ Doom Story & Forward Movement

Please welcome AG’s newest contributor, Linsey Planeta, Broker Owner of Belterra Fine Homes in Orange County, California. Linsey is a highly analytical...

Crap Sandwiches, Donkeys and New Year Resolutions

Do You Love Them or Loathe Them? I’m speaking about Resolutions for the New Year. You know the drill; I resolve to...

$64,093ish Ways to Say Merry Christmas to AG Contributors & One Special Commentator

We’ve Come a Long Long Way in a Year Over the past year we’ve grown at lightning speed, watched the real estate...

Death and…

Putting documentation together for an audit is the biggest P in the H I’ve been through in a long time – even...

Have a Heart!

Reputation management on the Internet can be extremely difficult, not only because you have to keep up with the conversations but also...

Please Don’t Try This At Home

How to Annoy your Visitors While perusing real estate blogs today, I came across one that had implemented a chat feature. In...

How My Blog Kept Someone From Breaking the Law

The Call: Yesterday we received a nervous call from someone who left the following message: “Hi. My name is X. I am...

The Seller HAS a Problem and Then BECOMES One

The seller has a problem. They have a house they want to sell and need to sell it at a certain price. ...

Amazing What a Year Can Do

What a year… This has been quite a year for me as a real estate agent and blogger… I was one of...

Questioning Your Marketing

It’s like some sort of invisible roadblock stops folks dead in their tracks, washes defeat over them, zaps their enthusiasm and causes...

Economic Diffusion Works

The more things change, the more they stay the same- Alphonse Karr I’ve been writing and/or speaking about the need for major...

Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: What Can We Do In The Meantime?

Please welcome Agent Genius’ newest writer, Ken Brand. Ken is a great writer and is known for his progressive thinking, professionalism, leadership,...

Give Way to Your Clients Needs

Caution Regardless of what the sign says, it’s universal in it’s meaning. Caution, Yield, Give Way…. There appears to be much written...

Realogy, Tribune and the Big Three – Bailout Nation

The Tribune is a massive company with legacy costs, systems and infrastructure that is struggling to sustain itself in the face of...

Give Me Lever(age) or Give My Car Death

Unintentional Help Wanted Ad Last week, back on the home front, I wrote a post explaining that I was changing the way...

Understanding RESPA Section 8 Violations

What is RESPA? RESPA is the Real Estate Settlement Procedures Act (RESPA) that was first passed in 1974. It is designed to:...

Even More Ways To Pimp Out Your ‘Berry

First, yes, I bought a brand spankin’ new Bold. I may even give you a review of it once I’ve put it...

The American Genius

“House has spark” – burning up the MLS with typos and other bloopers