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A pig and a poke (The MLS “Menu”)

This week I actually got hungry reading the MLS and the LA Times real estate ads. Check out these bloopers so you can see what’s currently on the menu. I must warn you, you may want to hit the sauce and trim the fat:

I’m In the Mood For Food 

“This hame is well stocked.” (Thank you, Porky Pig.) 

“Hear is the glolden egg!” (…Which apparently comes scrambled.) 

“Counter w/ new pop and fresh” ( Fat little dough boy included.)

“This one has alla the gravy” (Said Carmella Soprano as she proudly served her baked ziti.)

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“You’ll marble when you see this beauty” (Bummer. At least Lot’s wife got to be a condiment.)

“We hamdle REOs” (That’s one way to bring home the bacon.) 

Ham Fingers…So The Pork Lingers                                            

“Small pad w/ view of peer” (Why go home when you can sleep at the office?) 

“This is not a TIC” (…said Jeff Goldblum’s  hands.) 

“This pad in the Hollywood Hills is phat.” (So is your head, Biggie Smalls.) 

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“Cabinets w/ polished mental inserts” (Listing w/ punch drunk mental idiot.)

“This is a Short Shale” (Say that five times really fast.) 

Is It Happy hour Yet? 

“Just done finished floored” (Bottle done, finished agent on floor.) 

“Cork floors in bar aria” (Methinks the cork was popped several drinks ago.) 

“Stunning hammerred doors” (Offered by stumbling hammered dufus.) 

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“This condonimiun has all the trimmins” (Sauced agent has the tremorrrrs.) 

SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE – THE FINALE!

“Bask in the warm sin by the pool” (Yay – party at Charlie Sheen’s  pad!)

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

16 Comments

16 Comments

  1. Gwen Banta

    October 15, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    Thanks for the shout out, friends!

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