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“Here Today, Goblin Tomorrow!” MLS Humor

It’s getting closer to Goblin Day, friends, so I thought I’d show you some of the Halloween treats provided by our always dependable MLS. Some of these will haunt a few spelling-challenged agents to their graves:

Scare Tactics and Fanatics 

“Seller wants a rabid close” (Thank you, Cujo.) 

“No showings until carving” (That’s caravan, you turkey.) 

“Hair is the one we’ve been waiting for.” (…whispered Bruce Willis to Sean Connery.)

“Needs miner repairs” (‘Seems someone’s getting the shaft!) 

“Drop by for delicious threats” (FSBO – offered by Sean Penn) 

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Below the Belt 

“New hot weter filter” (I believe that’s called a ‘Depends.’) 

“Big screen on john area” (Uh, to filter out corn?) 

“Can meat for one hour only” (If it lasts more than four hours, call your doctor.) 

“New paint and cocking” (Let me guess – you want to meat for one hour?) 

“Patio with custom chairs, ottoman, croch BBQ area” (Hmmm – this gives new meaning to “putting a shrimp on the barbie.”) 

The Beat Goes On 

“Brand new licting” (I suspect this is “tongue-in-cheek.”) 

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“Prospecting buyers need to be pre-approved” (What is this – a Gold Rush?) 

“Exposed bean ceiling” (Former home of Jack and his famous Stalk) 

“Each was carefully selected and then laid” (Correction: This is the former home of Jack and his famous Stalk.) 

Clever Endeavors 

“New October Listing – Here today, Goblin tomorrow!” (Now here’s one that has a ghost of a chance!)

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Sheila Rasak

    October 22, 2010 at 10:29 pm

    It’s Friday night and I just checked into AG to see this post…what a great way to end the day! (Maybe I’ll read it again after I finish counting the pumpkin jack-o-lanterns I’m sending out to my farm. I think I’m getting closer to that 550 mark! This will be one well-lit neighborhood.)

  2. Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach

    October 23, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    The Fright Deal for the Fright Day! Or perhaps…”Call me threw out the day”.

    Gotta be amazed at creative grammar….

  3. Joe Loomer

    October 25, 2010 at 7:03 am

    Been playing with my new netbook and forgot to set the home page to AG, took me until this morning to read this! Hilarious! I make tons of calls every day, and now I’m wondering how I’m going to get through saying “when can we MEET?” without laughing out loud! Thanks for making my Monday morning, Gwen…

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  4. Gwen Banta

    October 25, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    Hi All – I’m on the road so my response time is limited to a hiccup. There will be another post Friday because I am a good Girl Scout and thus well prepared. However, I will save my pithy comments until I return to L.A. So, to use the vernacular of this week’s MLS gaffs: Until we “meat” again, here is my “rabid” close. Hasta La Eggo.

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