“WHAT A DUMP!” Bette Davis and the MLS

I must need a rest from the Rubik’s Cube that is the MLS and the real estate ad world.  I am beginning to see people. Not just dead people. I see people lurking everywhere. Could this all be subliminal? Am I channeling people to help me decipher the listing remarks? If so, why can’t it be George Clooney? But noooo…I am visited by the spirits below. Have a gander: 

They’re Baaaack 

“Hand carved stool in bar” (“What a DUMP!” Yes, I stole that line from Bette.)

“Unbelievable prince!” (The unbelievable part was when the fool called himself ‘The Artist Formerly Known as Prince’!)

“Solar and energy emission” (Huh? Let me guess – Home of K.C. and the Sunshine Band?)

“You’ll marvel at Bougan Villa” (This must be Pancho Villa’s  hot sister.)

“Near metropink” (All aboard the Clay Aiken Express!)

“Perfect for art correction.” (Come to Mama, Mr. Garfunkle –  it seems you’ve been a naughty boy.)

No End to Odds and Ends 

“One of brest neighborhoods” (Pamela Anderson’s  neighborhood – for those who give a hooter…)

“Area for kissies with trees and grass” (Methinks someone already has been sampling the grass…)

“Gorgeous peed a teer” (I think I leaked a little myself when I read this!)

“New alumininium siding” (Gesundheit!)

“Co-op with half walls and friar escape” (A funky bunk for Friar Tuck?)

“For those who want a bargun” (I know I do – especially when I’m at Hatchet’s Road House.)

“State of the art teater system (Art Linkletter’s dairy… Moo.)

“Georges Sparking Interior” (Boy George is having a fire sale!) 

Mommy, They’re Baaaack… 

“You won’t refuse this” (Offered by Vito Corleone Real Estate Group)

“Not copper, but no corruption” (A salute to Mr. Eliot Ness?)

“Refreshments served for shot time” (Cheerfully hosted by John Gotti.)

“Great mob remodeling – Vacant”  (Home Alone with Al Capone.)

Special Acknowledgement to Jersey

“Newly limed Fireplace” (A gift from Vito “The Enforcer” Vitello.  Excuse me as I disappear without a trace.)