
Yesterday, I got a huge compliment from an agent in a transaction I am working on. She said, “Ginger, I have been in the real estate business for 28 years. I know good agents. You are so calm. It is such a pleasure to work with you.” It was a huge compliment from an agent who is highly regarded and respected herself.
Sometimes I don’t feel calm. Things come up in a transaction and I just want to pull out my hair. Scream at somebody! Take a hammer and beat the other agent over the head.
But I don’t yell, scream or hit people. Too many agents get their emotions in the middle of their transactions. Our job as real estate agents is to facilitate the transaction to help our clients either buy or sell property. When we get emotional, we can’t serve their best interests.
Imagine this scenario:
You are representing a seller and the buyer comes in with a repair request that is ridiculous. Unreasonable. Totally out of line. The seller is NEVER going to agree to their demands.
Stop right there.

Those thoughts could kill your transaction. We can’t get emotional. We can’t project our own feelings onto our clients. Our job is to evaluate the situation, ask lots of questions to determine and understand people’s motivations, and develop solutions to the problem. Understanding the motivations and needs of your own client and the other party are crucial.
In the case of that unreasonable buyer request, what if I presented it to my client like this:
“Joe, I received the buyer’s repair request. Sit down, it is not pretty. It is totally unreasonable. I can’t believe they are asking for this…”
OR
“Hi Joe. I just got off the phone with the buyer’s agent. The prospective buyer has some concerns. They are concerned about….and here’s why…”
If I presented it in the manner of option one, my client will definitely think it is unreasonable. I just advised them it was bad, stupid, crazy. What if it seemed completely reasonable to your client? Projecting, projecting! Present the facts.
Now, I am not saying you should convince your client to agree to that repair request. Your job is to get the best possible price and terms for your client within their time frame. Understanding the motivations of everyone involved is the most important step in making that happen. What may seem completely reasonable to you may seem crazy to your client. We all know that. The reverse is true as well. It is hard to work through problems if you don’t understand why the problem exists. Some agents can create problems in a transaction by projecting their own feelings on their clients.
So stay calm and don’t project. Advise, counsel, mediate, negotiate and close the deal.



