Real estate humor – God bones – heaven help the MLS

Did you hear that?  Yep – that was the sound of my rosary beads hitting the floor…with me close behind.  The bloopers were bad enough this week that I considered joining a convent to find peace for my tortured former-English-teacher soul. Unfortunately, none would take me. There was some reference to my penchant for bacchanalia, but I’ve got nothing on these people:

What’s Amiss With This?

“Has god bones” (Uh, I think He already knows who has His ribs…)

“Fur rent – lovely cirdular design” (Is this a home or a hamster wheel?)

“Spanish style w/ two tuffets” (For those who enjoy curds and whey…)

“Near Bev Hills Ho” (Don’t get too near unless you’re on penicillin)

“Handymen will lick the workbench” (I’d pay big bucks just to see that!)

Tempting, But I’ll Restrain Myself

“Security dates ensure safety” (In case I’m attacked by a felonious fig?)

“Buyor lease” (If I’m going to lease your buyer, he better be hot!)

“Seller says no expense sparfed” (Seller regurgitation proclamation.)

“Tran leads to lake” (Hmmm… a transsexual tour guide.)

“Master has stream room” (I think that called a toilet…)

“Big compou” (Thank you, Wan Hang Lo)

Overstating The Obvious

“Plumbing is good addit’n” (Especially if the “master has stream.”)

“Has wiring” (I’ll alert the media – this is electrifying!)

“Includs comisin agent ” (Can I get it without the idiot agent who typed this?)

Shut Up and Say good Night

“Has walls thiaviarle” (And obviously one just fell on the agent…)

Happy Friday the 13th. as my Irish uncle would say:  “There is no such thing as bad luck or bad booze…just bad service.”