Real estate humor – God bones – heaven help the MLS

Did you hear that?  Yep – that was the sound of my rosary beads hitting the floor…with me close behind.  The bloopers were bad enough this week that I considered joining a convent to find peace for my tortured former-English-teacher soul. Unfortunately, none would take me. There was some reference to my penchant for bacchanalia, but I’ve got nothing on these people:

What’s Amiss With This?

“Has god bones” (Uh, I think He already knows who has His ribs…)

“Fur rent – lovely cirdular design” (Is this a home or a hamster wheel?)

“Spanish style w/ two tuffets” (For those who enjoy curds and whey…)

“Near Bev Hills Ho” (Don’t get too near unless you’re on penicillin)

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“Handymen will lick the workbench” (I’d pay big bucks just to see that!)

Tempting, But I’ll Restrain Myself

“Security dates ensure safety” (In case I’m attacked by a felonious fig?)

“Buyor lease” (If I’m going to lease your buyer, he better be hot!)

“Seller says no expense sparfed” (Seller regurgitation proclamation.)

“Tran leads to lake” (Hmmm… a transsexual tour guide.)

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“Master has stream room” (I think that called a toilet…)

“Big compou” (Thank you, Wan Hang Lo)

Overstating The Obvious

“Plumbing is good addit’n” (Especially if the “master has stream.”)

“Has wiring” (I’ll alert the media – this is electrifying!)

“Includs comisin agent ” (Can I get it without the idiot agent who typed this?)

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Shut Up and Say good Night

“Has walls thiaviarle” (And obviously one just fell on the agent…)

Happy Friday the 13th. as my Irish uncle would say:  “There is no such thing as bad luck or bad booze…just bad service.”