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Facebook Home launches: why I won’t be using it

Facebook Home is a new homescreen and lock screen for Android users, injecting a major dose of Facebook into your life, and it is gorgeous, but here is why I won’t be using it.

facebook home

facebook home

Facebook Home coming to an Android near you

Facebook launched “Facebook Home,” an app that replaces Android’s homescreen and lock screen with Facebook photos, notifications, and status updates. “We asked ourselves ­if sharing and connecting are what matter most, what would your phone be like if it put your friends first?” Facebook asked, noting that Home is their answer. “Home isn’t a phone or operating system, and it’s also more than just an app. Home is a completely new experience that lets you see the world through people, not apps.”

Android users with the most recent operating systems (Ice Cream Sandwich and Jelly Bean, but not Gingerbread) have access to Facebook Home, and will come pre-loaded on the HTC First phone through AT&T. Complaints have already rolled in from Facebook devotees that the app doesn’t work on their Android, so it is not exactly a universal release, and it’s not yet available on tablets, but the company says that’s next.

Video demo of Facebook Home

[pl_video type=”youtube” id=”HiqbNxRurFA”]

Why I won’t be using Facebook Home

Although I have a $600 HTC EVO 4G, I have learned that I do not have access to Facebook Home which is being hailed as an immersive app for high end phones (maybe mine’s not high end enough), but even before I discovered the incompatibility, I had already decided that I would not be adding the app to my phone for three main reasons – it’s too social, my friends are jerks, and it makes my use inefficient.

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Facebook Home is perfect if you’re a 14 year old girl that communicates with friends and family exclusively through Facebook, or someone who is so addicted to Facebook that they need the digital equivalent of an intravenous drip, but for grown ups with grown up jobs, Sweet Brown said it best – ain’t nobody got time fo dat. My smartphone is a secondary workspace for me, and while the app truly is stunning and well designed, it doesn’t take much to hit one Facebook button to access all of the same information. This is just overdoing it.

But let’s say I’m a Facebook junkie and I download the app. That’s great, but what happens when I open my phone during a meeting and the photo that I have no control over is my friend who just got in a motorcycle accident posting pictures of his shredded face? What about when my friends tag me in a picture of my favorite politicians photoshopped onto fake sex scenes? You guys, this is Facebook – my friends are jerks, and if you don’t have jerk friends that post stuff on their walls that would embarrass someone passing by your innocent phone witnessing that, you’re unique.

I don’t want to open my phone in front of my kid so we can call the doctor and witness a full screen photo of semi-nude people making out while wearing squid hats just because my idiot friends posted it.

Let’s face it, I’m a jerk too – when I find out which of my close friends are using Facebook Home, I’m probably going to tag them in stupid stuff so when they open their phone, they’re embarrassed. The Facebook Home promo video isn’t lying – this guy with his friends right in the cabin with him are intrusive and have the power to embarrass:

[pl_video type=”youtube” id=”mx_GzNlQOxI”]

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Facebook Home kills productivity

Not because it’s a distraction, but because it hides my widgets and adds extra clicks for me to get to any other app on my phone, Facebook Home has the power to kill my productivity. I already have a Facebook button, so I’ll be sticking with that.

If all you do is use your phone for Facebook, this is a winning app for you, and it looks fun and well designed, but most of you reading this will agree with me that this takes Facebooking to a whole new level and will probably put some people into rehab. Facebook crack is whack, take a step back.

Lani is the COO and News Director at The American Genius, has co-authored a book, co-founded BASHH, Austin Digital Jobs, Remote Digital Jobs, and is a seasoned business writer and editorialist with a penchant for the irreverent.

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