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Cause we’re really not that Different

We’re Not That Different

“I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, so we are not really that different, me and you.” Colin Rae

I love the above line from We’re Not That Different, a song by Colin Rae, a country singer, and songwriter. I like it because it is true, we are all the same in many ways. We are all made with the same DNA, and we all have the same basic needs.

Is this true for you?

When my family calls me, as soon as I pick up the phone, I can tell in an instant what is going on with them. No not the exact details but whether this is a good call or a serious one. I can tell if they are upset, bothered or excited about something.  I bet you can tell the same thing when people close to you call.

When my kids were younger they would say, “Mama, you’re yelling at us one minute and then a client calls and you are like, “oh hey…how are you?” You get all happy, your voice totally changes.

Well not really, but…I definitely have an attitude check before I speak with a client and I bet you do too.

Let your emotions shine through the phone

Did you know people can hear sincerity in your voice? When you smile and you are on the phone it comes through the phone line. Have you ever followed up leads or called past clients in a ho hum mood? Not much success, not many warm and fuzzy feelings going back and forth. No real connection.

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Next time you call a client, or a lead put a smile on your face. It is not just the words we say but also the emotions that come through that create a connection. It has been said that people will not remember what you do but how you how you made THEM feel.

In the midst of a tough negotiation with another agent, change your posture, or your facial expression. It only takes one person to change the tone and direction of a conversation. Be sincere, they will know you care even if you can’t agree on the subject at hand.

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Written By

Written by Missy Caulk, Associate Broker at Keller Williams Ann Arbor. Missy is the author of Ann Arbor Real Estate Talk and Blog Ann Arbor, and is also the Director for the Ann Arbor Area Board of Realtors and Member of MLS and Grievance Committee's.



  1. Matt Stigliano

    January 19, 2009 at 9:47 am

    Missy – I recently had an experience where someone called my phone, started rapid fire asking questions and got me a bit flustered. I was in the middle of something when they called and it threw me off completely. I got a little squirrely and the questions coming at me one after the other didn’t help. In the middle of it all, I took a deep breath and tried to change the tide of the conversation by slowing down and communicating (instead of being interrogated). Suddenly the conversation changed, the person on the phone settled down, and all started to move in the right direction.

    Good advice for anyone. Stop, wait a moment, rethink, and continue with a new attitude/tone of voice/line of questioning/vibe. It will work wonders.

  2. Elaine Reese

    January 19, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    TRUE, TRUE, TRUE! I always try to take a second to change my face muscles to a smile. Makes such a difference to voice tone. Likewise, if it’s one of those darn lead generating calls, I frown! 🙂

  3. Karen Goodman

    January 20, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    Years ago I worked for a short while as a receptionist, and was trained to stop and smile before answering the phone. It really does make a difference in the tone that comes across.

  4. Thomas Johnson

    January 20, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    When you have to hammer the phones, hang a mirror in front of yourself and smile. Goofy but it works!

  5. Lola Audu

    January 22, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    Missy, this is so important. When you can’t see who you’re talking to, the non-verbal elements of communication are transmitted through less tangible elements like tone and inflection. Many of us don’t realise how important these ‘little’ things can be during a conversation or negotiation.

  6. Paula Henry

    January 22, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Missy – My children have said the same thing to me. Even my husband! We have to be prepared for business when we answer the phone and how we prepare can make a difference in the outcome. A big smile and pleasant disposition is usually a big win!

  7. Ken Brand

    January 23, 2009 at 7:23 am

    You and Og Mandino are on the same page:

    “I seek constantly 2 improve my manners & graces, for they R the sugar to which all are attracted.” – Og Mandino

    Rock ON Missy and friends.

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