People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Bruce Lemieux
December 3, 2010 at 1:36 pm
I’m glad I can help out. The prospect of showing-up on your infamous list always encourages an additional proof-read of my listings.
Agent for Movoto
December 3, 2010 at 1:41 pm
This is HILARIOUS. This is a regular feature, I hope? I’ll be back for more.
Robert Darrow
December 3, 2010 at 2:40 pm
My favorite of all time: “…and huge d*ck for entertaining!” You get the idea that the back yard must have a spectacular patio. Just one letter makes all the difference.
Gwen Banta
December 3, 2010 at 8:30 pm
Every Friday, @ Agent for Movato. Thanks!
Gwen Banta
December 3, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Robert, I love that one, but my favorite is “Live next to the Hollywood Bowel.” It works on so many levels!
Doug Francis
December 3, 2010 at 11:04 pm
Really, sometimes this business can be like a Seinfeld eposide…
Gwen Banta
December 4, 2010 at 12:55 am
Yes, Robert. Remember the “soup nazi” on Seinfeld? I guess that makes me the “spelling nazi”!
Doug Francis
December 4, 2010 at 10:49 am
Robert? Oh, I see that comment was written at 12:55 am… but I guess Robert’s comment made a vivid impression on you at that hour. 😉
Gwen Banta
December 4, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Sorry, Doug – I was drooping over the keyboard last night when I wrote that; and today I feel so sick I’m thinking of dragging my flu-ridden body down to the local slaughterhouse…
Coleen DeGroff
December 5, 2010 at 12:37 am
Hi Gwen,
Funny stuff! If all those death-related typos were in the same listing I’m not sure I’d take buyer to see the house…without bringing along a crucifix and a garlic necklace, that is. 🙂
Charles McDonald
December 5, 2010 at 8:21 pm
I hate to post some of the turkeys we have seen in our MLS. Kind of embarrassing 🙂