People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Mariana Wagner
March 17, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I love talking to people. I am currently working on being internationally certified to train for Keller Williams and will be on a panel for the 2008 Colorado REALTOR Rally on 3/19. I love sitting on panels and being up front, training agents. The larger the group, the better, IMHO.
florida remax realty
March 18, 2008 at 5:16 am
I love this idea and it can help so many with questions. Should I sell now, what to do to prepare for a sale. For the buyer the lending process, finding a realtor, today’s market. All of these would be so helpful I wish they had it when I first bought me realtor lead me thru the process but being informed is the best way and why not classes. I think the lending and how to make your house stand out for sale in buyers market will be the best attended sessions.
Gatlinburg Real Estate
March 18, 2008 at 6:19 am
Talking to a group is probably the #1 fear for most people. I have gotten much better and much more comfortable at doing it with small groups. 5 years ago I would have puked right where I stand at the thought of having to do any public speaking. It has gotten better with age and definately helps when you are confident in what you are talking about. Good tips on providing different speakers to discuss the many facets of real estate Nick.
Toby & Sadie
March 18, 2008 at 9:27 am
The “buyer’s seminars” have run their course in Delaware. Lots of agents just used them as an “about me” time and didnt’ get a good response.
I’m working on a “seller’s seminar” for next month that is looking pretty interesting. We have a home stager, a mortgage guy to talk about stream-lined 203b loans, a new home builder, title company, and myself. It should be interesting.
Bill Lublin
March 18, 2008 at 10:11 am
Nick; You might want to check out the Library at realtor.org – There is some terrific material you can use that is not a “look at me” type of program, but a good checklist to use for any sort of consumer seminar. Our agents are doing buyer and seller seminars on a regular basis, and while the number of attendees vary, people are still interested in good information about buying and selling , and seem to react well to the knowledgable professional who presents that material to them in an objective manner
Nick
March 18, 2008 at 5:40 pm
@mizzle – I am actually honestly amazed at the Realtors I see at the conventions I attend, it definitely takes some guts to get up in front of huge groups of attendees and frequently say things that push many outside their comfort boundaries. Do you do classes for consumers as well?
Gatlinburg – That’s great that you’ve forced yourself to keep going instead of simply giving up. One of the parts of my life that helped the most was when I assisted in teaching people to actually teach SCUBA. We had to score our students on effectiveness, use of crutch words and general presentation skills. When you start teaching others, you see your own mistakes even more clearly and have to clean up your act.
Toby & Sadie – if you don’t mind my asking, are you having to pay any of the outside pro’s a dime to be there?
Bill – I’ve never been too good at navigating Realtor.org, a little help? Or do I have to be a NAR member to access the information you’re speaking of? I’m thinking of a Home Depot-like model where they have classes a few times a week on a variety of topics. Maybe I don’t care about tile, but I want to replace my sink. In Real Estate, that could be classes on how to Feng Shui your house, green living or basic landscaping. Same type of idea, if the Realtor isn’t the pro on these things, get a pro to come in to teach, but it still gives face time for the Realtor and the office.
Lani Anglin-Rosales
March 18, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Nick, this is a great concept we’ve begun pioneering here in Austin and you know what? It sure is a lot like a blog but in person! If you have a great partnership with someone like you in Title (preferrably the marketing department), a progressive new-fashioned Realtor, and a mortgage guy or gal, the process becomes much more fluid.
Keep the great ideas coming! 🙂
Matthew Rathbun
March 18, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Great ideas, Nick. I will say, there are some very well written bloggers who aren’t that comfortable in front of people. I think a good place for these folks to start is in small, short sessions talking about what they are comfortable with.
With the information that is all over the internet, agents could get a good response, if they began doing a better job of getting in front of the consumer. Most buyers use the first agent they encounter…
Partnerships that provide a variety of information is a great place to start!
Bill Lublin
March 18, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Nick – Realtor.org is the resource for members of NAR, but you can get some of those design and architecture ideas from REALTOR Magazines web site – the direct link would be https://www.realtor.org/rmohome.nsf/pages/rmodesign and should not require a login (I tried it from my home computer, and unless I had a cookie I’m unaware of from an earlier login I think you;re good to go) And I have to agree with your analysis of how different related experts can work for would work for a REALTOR peoviding an educational opportunity for home buyers or sellers – Good ideas – In fact they might even have a tech person their to talk about smart homes and wireless networks 🙂
Nick: I forgot to mention what a great link the toastmasters is for people without speaking experience- having taught and lectured and presneted in a variety of venues over the years, I tend to forget that people might need some practice the first time – and that seems like a great place to get that help – well done sir!
Australian Toastmasters Champion
March 21, 2008 at 6:10 am
Speaking is one of the best ways to market yourself. the main reason why it is so good is that most people are afraid of public speaking. Therefore when they see someone speaking, the audience automatically believes that they are an expert! Therefore they must know what they are on about!
Cheers
Darren Fleming
Australia’s Public Speaking Coach
https://www.executivespeaking.com.au
Martin Ng
February 11, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Excellent business idea, and a great way to become familiar with public speaking, doing it for such small groups. In classrooms you don’t need a mic and can’t hear your own echo – much less intimidating.