People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Annie Maloney
April 15, 2008 at 8:45 am
You’ve got to be kidding. Please tell me you photo-shopped that! Pretty corny. I guess it is no different than flying the big #3 for Dale Earndhardt under the American Flag. Your title says it right though….just seems wrong.
Jay Thompson
April 15, 2008 at 8:50 am
It’s real. About a half a mile from my house.
Matthew Rathbun
April 15, 2008 at 9:10 am
I pledge allegiance to the flag, of the National…. I am not really sure why one would need a Realtor flag. But I guess someone found a purpose. Grab a (franchise color of your choice) jacket and salute, boys and girls. All agents are created equal and swear to one nation under the Commission…
Sorry for non-sense rambling. It was just my first thoughts when I saw the flag 🙂
Hi! I'm Rudy from Trulia. Nice find Jay...
April 15, 2008 at 9:26 am
Hmmmmm? I kinda dig it in a weird way Jay 🙂 But then again, I love offline marketing and branding more than most people do.
Eric W. Gage
April 15, 2008 at 9:33 am
Terrible…terrible and very poor taste in my opinion!
Andy Kaufman
April 15, 2008 at 9:56 am
I would totally do it, but then I wouldn’t have room for a Packer flag (in season of course) 😉
& I wonder what kind of car magnets they have on their car?
Jay Thompson
April 15, 2008 at 10:26 am
@Andy – you would 😉 Is there really an off-season for a true Packer’s fan?
@all – curious if anyone has *ever* seen a flag flying for ANY other profession? I don’t recall ever seeing one…
Shailesh Ghimire
April 15, 2008 at 3:32 pm
First time for me Jay.
When I lived in Wisconsin I saw plenty of Packer flags next to the US flag – don’t recall seeing it like it is there.
I guess the agent is a die hard professional!
Benn Rosales
April 15, 2008 at 6:58 pm
lol Why do I hear Lee Greenwood playing in the background when I see that picture? It’s not a bad thing, every builder in Texas has something like that with their logo/American Flag. Oh well.
Jay Thompson
April 15, 2008 at 7:16 pm
A builder I can see, or even at a real estate office. But this is on a home in suburbia. I think it’s weird.
JeffX
April 15, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Please update with a picture when the home is ‘egged’ or toilet papered…
Benn Rosales
April 15, 2008 at 9:36 pm
lol to funny
Kris Berg
April 16, 2008 at 6:07 am
I think I would be worried about being victim to hate crimes. Oops – Now I see XBroker beat me to the punch.
Yes, Jay, I agree. This is somewhat disturbing.
ines
April 16, 2008 at 9:09 am
It could be worse, there could be a confederate flag next to it! LOL!
(they also forgot to include the agent’s picture on the flag)
@mikeneumann
April 16, 2008 at 9:44 pm
I’m glad that this seems “wrong” to someone on the ‘inside’ in RealEstate(R). It leaves me (a civilian) with a sour taste in my mouth for Realtor(R)s.
Jay Thompson
April 17, 2008 at 10:08 am
Thanks @mikeneumann for adding your thoughts.
THAT should be a very telling comment for agents out there……
Wade Young
April 17, 2008 at 9:40 pm
When the British were coming during the war of 1812 Mary Pickersgill and half a dozen other women sewed all night — night after night — to make the Star Spangled Banner. I think she would find this distasteful.
Toby Boyce
April 18, 2008 at 7:09 am
My first response would be why?
have I ever seen one for other professions? Well there is an actuary down the street from me and he hangs and abacus under his flag.
Honestly, I just think it crosses a line of class vs. marketing.
Maureen Francis
April 23, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Bizarre.