People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Dan Connolly
January 8, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Okay so what is the age difference between GenY and GenX? Oh and when will GenZ be here?
Missy Caulk
January 8, 2009 at 9:23 pm
I am a bummer, but in some cases I know more than my kids. They know more than me in some things, like showing me at Christmas how to program my IPod.
My teams ages run from 28 to 62, but I give the first time home buyer and U of M students to my younger one, they have fun and text all the time.
I’m not sure age in years have anything to do with it but more of a desire to learn new things.
Paula Henry
January 8, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Nick – Two of my chilren are Gen Y. Both were in real estate, one as a licensed assistant and the other unlicensed. Neither enjoyed it. One thing I have noticed about this generation is, they work to live and their freedom and fun is important to them.
As are their friends. If you et the opportunity to work with them, once you have earned their trust, they are loyal and will refer to their friends. They trust their friends!
Nicole Lahti
January 8, 2009 at 10:50 pm
I’m a Gen Y and have been in mortgage for 3 years (straight out of college), and I’m oftentimes the youngest in the room at sales meetings, trainings, CE classes, etc.
I think why generally see less Gen Y in real estate is because our higher education system can be a Fortune 500 factory. We’re sold on the cool title, company expense account and travel opportunities big companies offer straight out of college; not the sacrifice and rejection (which is loathed by Gen Y) it takes to become a young entrepreneur.
Linda Davis
January 9, 2009 at 7:13 am
It’s simple.
Look at the tons of research on the character traits of the average Gen Y. Then talk to some of the most successful real estate professionals and ask them what it took to get there. You’ll have your answer.
Brad Rachielles
January 9, 2009 at 11:39 am
Disclosure: I am a 1946 Boomer that has stayed knowledgable on tech.
That said, it may not be important because it appears to me that the whole world will beat a path to one who gets results. A lender posted on Facebook that he was writing a 4.5% loan and said that everyone came out of the woodwork, regardless of catagory.
Nick, I liked your post. Have you done any research on other entrapreneur based fields outside of “tech” or real estate/loans that may indicate that Millenials are thriving as independant owners/contractors? I see and agree with Nicole’s point about corporate emphasis in schools. Maybe that is where the changes should take place.
Or, could it be possible that Generation Y so strongly believes in generational division that they have trouble seeing themselves doing business with clients with a diverse generational characteristic because they have been so preconditioned. There has to be a better thought than that!
Debra Sinick
January 9, 2009 at 12:43 pm
I agree with Missy’s comment about the difference being not just generational, but the willingness to learn and change.
Elaine Reese
January 9, 2009 at 6:40 pm
I’m surprised no one has mentioned money. It takes quite a bit of money to start-up and stay in this business – whether or not a sale is made. It may require being able to live for 6 months without a paycheck. Perhaps, the Gen Y’ers just don’t have that kind of savings. Especially, if they have to start paying off college loans.
Benjamin Bach
January 10, 2009 at 9:06 am
I’m 25, and have been in business for 3 years now.
Our firm of 100 associates is owned by a 32 year old.
A few of us in the top 10 at the firm are under 35.
Maybe we’re the exception, but Gen Y does pretty well around here
Nick Bostic
January 11, 2009 at 3:00 pm
@Dan – There still isn’t a very clear definition on time periods, but the most widely accepted I consistently see is 1977-1998. Generation X is 1965-1976. Gen Z probably won’t exist because Gen Y was actually meant as a put down to say that we were not really different from Gen X and just the next group to follow.
@Missy – I agree with the desire to learn, but I also think those doing the educating need to evolve. My “research” is anecdotal, but most of my friends spent more time in college because they enjoyed learning. They also had more altercations with instructors because the information was old and outdated. So again, my anecdotal evidence suggests Gen Y has a great desire to learn, but no tolerance for incompetent educational systems.
@Paula – I would definitely agree that a work/life balance is key to my generation, but wouldn’t being a real estate agent be a perfect occupation? You set your hours, you’re your own boss?
@Nicole – Thank you for joining the conversation, I’m glad I’m not alone here 🙂 I would agree that higher education promotes the (outdated) Fortune 500 mentality. I think everyone I keep in contact with that I graduated from college with has been sorely disappointed by the Fortune 500 promises that haven’t come true yet, and I think this reality will get passed down.
@Lina – I have read and conducted my own research into the character traits of Gen Y. Driven, motivated, understanding that 401k’s/Pensions/Social Security won’t exist when they need them so they must make their own future, a desire to learn, a want to be respected by their boss/coworkers, knowledge that there is a future in their career. I’m sorry, I don’t see how this doesn’t work with a real estate career.
@Brad – Very true, people will go where they get results. I go to the best realtors, lenders, appraisers, etc I can find. But I would also like to get to know these people, maybe even consider them friends. People are traditionally more likely to hang out with their direct peers. Generation Y has definitely been fed a mentality of getting the corporate job, but I think many are seeing that it isn’t working out as promised and more are looking for a better life. I’m not sure Gen Y is the only one that believes in generational division, and in my day job, I see the most push back to NOT cross generational lines from older generations.
@Debra – When I teach classes about using Craigslist and other online marketing options to Boomers, I get so much push back and resistance. The Gen X’ers and Gen Y’ers in the room are much more willing to learn and change.
@Elaine – Gen Y is also one of the most likely to be willing to move back home out of school, so coming up with seed money may actually be easier for many. I personally moved back home after college, had my student loans and a new car paid off and savings for a down payment in less than a year, and I know of many other Gen Y’ers who have done the same. Many, including myself, were told by heads of departments that we’d easily be making six figures immediately upon graduation, which isn’t realistic, so perhaps it’s the fear of making NOTHING that is keeping Gen Y’ers from jumping into their own business.
@Benjamin – Excellent job, thanks for sharing a great example!
Paula Henry
January 11, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Nick – You would think real estate would be the perfect business; while I hate to admit it, maybe it was their role model at the time – ME – who left them not liking the business.
My son likes the security of a paycheck and benefits which allows him time off to enjoy the beach and mountains.
My daughter – well – girls just wanna have fun 🙂
Funny – you mention moving back home – my son did, now 26 , has now moved out. My daughter – now 22, is still at home.
Maybe it is the fear of making nothing – there’s only one way around that – face the fear and move beyond it.
Matt Goyer - Redfin
January 16, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Sorry I missed your raise of hands on the #icny during Inman! I was at Inman and I’m also 29, barely qualifying me for Gen Y.
For those interested, Redfin has a good number of Gen Y folks both on the engineering side (those who build the website) and on the real estate side (the agents.)
I think people my age identify more easily with an agent who speaks their language. That is knows how to crunch numbers in Excel, emails over calling, and understands the power of blogs and Twitter.
You’ll see this reflected in Redfin’s website by us including the tools that Gen Y has come to expect and by showing our agents in more casual outfits instead of a suit and tie.
Matt
https://twitter.com/mattgoyer