I’m an Android user because I like being parted from my money in different ways from others. And honestly, tech brand wars are for the argumentative birds. Even so, Apple keeps finding ways to make my trademark, mall goth-worthy ‘I don’t care’ façade much harder to keep up.
First it was their pricing vs performance vs right to repair in general. Then it was the selling separate ‘so you won’t lose them’ cords for those EFFING AIRPODS, (how does that not feel like a spit in the face).
Their latest weird, distinctly anti-consumer flex is…removing the reviews page from their site.
Double you tee EFF?
Let’s go over all the ways this is weird, so you all know for sure this take isn’t just based on the fact that I’m typing this up on a cost-effective Chromebook right now.
1: Everybody buying Apple likes Apple.
For real, Apple is a Brand’s Brand. It’s Jean-Claude Van Brand, doing truck splits all over all other comers. People get into seriously nasty fights when defending the company and their instruments, so how could the reviews possibly be bad enough to shove under the bed?
2: This isn’t a good look for any brand; why is a big fish brand doing it?
Out of all the terrible moves companies keep pulling out of the Terrible Moves Box, review hiding/shaming/changing is right at the top of the pile inside.
It always comes out, it always makes brands lose face, and it’s always baffling! Consumers are going to find out, we’re going to be irritated, and we’re going to keep having to dance this dance for some reason.
Whether it’s a no-name Amazon brand, an indie video game, or even Apple—the truth will get out. Apple’s smart enough to know that. So what are we looking at (or NOT looking at) here?
3: Timing…what?
Because holiday buying and/or totally secular sales creeps up on everyone who isn’t me (I’ve been buying Solstice presents since literally May), right now most people are looking for deals and waiting to pounce on the best of the best for less like the retail panthers they are.
As such, it’s more than a little odd that Apple would axe reviews, not just in general, but right now.
Taken all together, what exactly does this mean?
If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say that this is some site renovation executed terribly. As moustache-twirly as most companies can get, I really can’t fathom Apple execs going ‘The peasants need not share their opinions, they have only to love us and pay us’, and hitting a big red ‘Remove reviews’ button.
Even so with all the money and manpower behind this company, it’s still something I have to squint at.
You’ve got billions of dollars behind every decision, customer-facing or otherwise, and yet this still happens?
We’ll have to wait and see what happens whether we’re asking Siri for the latest or still typing into a Google bar like a chump/thrifty chick.
But no matter how you want to slice this Apple move, it’s distinctly a rotten one. Whatever’s going on, the quickly spoiling bunch needs to be scrapped and fast.
You can't spell "Together" without TGOT: That Goth Over There. Staff Writer, April Bingham, is that goth; and she's all about building bridges— both metaphorically between artistry and entrepreneurship, and literally with tools she probably shouldn't be allowed to learn how to use.
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