Quarantining, sheltering in place, staying home. We’re tired of hearing it; we’re tired of doing it. Yet, it’s what we still need to be doing to stay safe for a while longer. All of this can be lonesome. As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the alone time is getting to even the most introverted among us.
Solitary confinement is considered one of the most psychologically damaging punishments a human can endure. The New Yorker reported on this in a 1992 study of prisoners in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, as well as Vietnam veterans who experienced isolation. These studies showed that prisoners who had experienced solitary confinement demonstrated similar brain activity to those who’d suffered a severe head injury, noting that “Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.”
We aren’t meant to be solitary creatures. Your “pandemic brain” is real. That fogginess, the lack of productivity, can be attributed to many things, including anxiety, but being kept apart from other humans is a big part of it too. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, and join others virtually. Be it an app, a class, a Facebook group, a chat room, or a livestream, someone somewhere is out there waiting to connect with you too.
The good news? We are lucky enough to live in an era of near limitless ways to interact socially online. Sure, it is different, but it is something. It’s important. The best thing about this type of social interaction is being able to hone in on your specific interests, though I’d caution you against getting caught in an online echo chamber. Diversity of interests, personality, and opinion make for a richer experience, with opportunities for connecting and expanding your worldview.
Here are a few suggestions on ways to socialize while staying home and staying safe. Communicating with other humans is good for you, physically and mentally.
Interactive Livestreams on Twitch:
Twitch is best known as a streaming service for video game fans, but it offers multiple streams appealing to different interests. This is more than passive watching (although that is an option, too) as Twitch livestream channels also have chat rooms. Twitch is fun for people who like multi-tasking because the chat rooms for popular livestream channels can get busy with chatter.
While people watch the Twitch hosts play a video game, film a live podcast, make music or art, mix cocktails, or dance, they can comment on what they’re watching, make suggestions, ask questions, crack jokes, and get to know each other (by Twitch handle, so it is still as anonymous as you want it to be) in the chat room. The best hosts take time every so often to interact directly with the chat room questions and comments.
Many Twitch channels develop loyal followers who get to know each other, thus forming communities. I have participated in the Alamo Drafthouse Master Pancake movie mocks a few times because they are fun and local to Austin, where I live. Plus, in my non-quarantine life, I would go to Master Pancake shows live sometimes. The chat room feels familiar in a nice way. While watching online is free, you can (and totally should) tip them.
Online trivia in real time:
There are some good options for real-time online trivia, but I’m impressed with the NYC Trivia League’s model. They have trivia games online on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. The NYC Trivia League seems to have figured out a good way to run the game live while keeping answers private from the other teams. They run games on Instagram Live with a live video of the host, and participants answer via the question feature. Clever!
Online book club:
First I have to shout out my Austin local independent bookstore, BookPeople, because they are fantastic. They run book clubs throughout the year, along with readings, book signings, and all things book-related. BookPeople hosts several online book clubs during these lockdown days, and most people will find something that appeals to them.
I’m also impressed with this list from Hugo House, a writer’s resource based out of Seattle. This list includes Instagram and Goodread book clubs, book clubs for Black women, rebels, and poetry lovers. The Financial Diet recommends the Reddit book club, if you are comfortable with the Reddit format. Please note that it’s a busy place, but if you like Reddit, you already know this.
Cooking class or virtual tasting:
This is doubly satisfying because you can follow these chefs in real time, and you end up with a meal. There are a couple on Instagram Live, such as The Culinistas or Chef Massimo Bottura.
You can also participate in virtual tastings for wine, whiskey, or chocolate, though you will have to buy the product to participate in the classes (usually held over Zoom or Facebook Live). If you are in Austin, Dallas, or Houston, I recommend BeenThere Locals. The cost of the course includes the wine, spirits, or cooking kit in most cases, and all of the money goes to the business and expert hosting the class.
Look for your favorite wine, spirits, cheese, chocolate makers, and chefs that are local to you to find a similar experience. Most either prepare the class kit for pickup or delivery within a local area.
Quarantine chat:
To interact with another quarantined person seeking social interaction, there’s Quarantine Chat. Quarantine chat is one of the ways to connect through the Dialup app, available on iOS and Android devices. Sign up to make and receive calls when you want to speak with someone. The Dialup app pairs you randomly with another person for a phone conversation, at a scheduled time, either with anyone or with someone with shared interests.
Quarantine chat takes it a step further with calls at random times. When your quarantine chat caller calls, you will not see their number (or they yours), only the “Quarantine Chat” caller ID. If you are unable to pick up when they call, they will be connected with someone else, so there is no pressure to answer. It’s nice to hear someone else’s voice, merely to talk about what you’ve been cooking or what hilarious thing your pet is doing.
Play Uno:
Uno Freak lets people set up games and play Uno online with friends or strangers. Players do not need to register or download anything to play. Uno Freak is web-based.
Talk to mental health professionals:
If your state of loneliness starts sliding toward depression, call someone you can speak to right away to talk over your concerns. When in doubt, call a trained professional! Here are a few resources:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET, 800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to this text line 24/7 for someone to text with who will also be able to refer you to other resources: U.S. and Canada: 74174, U.K. 85258, Ireland: 50808.
- Psych Central has put together this comprehensive list of crisis intervention specialists and ways to contact them immediately.
There are many ways to connect even though we are physically apart. These are just a few real time ways to interact with others online. If you want something a little more flesh and blood, take a walk around the block or even sit in a chair in front of where you live.
Wave at people from afar, and remember that we have lots of brilliant doctors and scientists working on a way out of this. Hang in there, buddy. I’m rooting for you. I’m rooting for all of us.
kevin troll tomlinson
May 8, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Good post. I wish I got points for commenting, like AR
Teresa Boardman
May 8, 2011 at 2:07 pm
I am not sure I get your point on this one. I know the homes searches are important but buyers can search for homes pretty much anywhere and I don't care where they search. It is a shame we gave our data away but this is the information age and our roles have expanded beyond that of gate keeper.
Matthew Rathbun
May 8, 2011 at 8:42 pm
I've had a large personal shift in ideology in the past 18 months or so… I've become indifferent about the Association. I get what support I can from them and don't expect them to get me on the bleeding edge.
It's time for agents to take responsibility to learn what we need on our own and stop blaming our brokers and Associations for our own lack of knowledge.
As far as data goes, it's out – now it's time to do what we should have been doing all along… concentrate on service and not being the keepers of the data.
Missy Caulk
May 9, 2011 at 6:53 am
"What are you doing for me?" What is the value proposition?
This is the question our Association is dealing with, as we just hired Kevin McQueen to come in and do an assessment. Well that was the 2nd most response. The first was, "we want data sharing to be easier."
Of course never mind there are updates all the time from the staff and very few members click them open or read them.
I agree with you Benn, in the fact that Associations are redefining themselves or are having too. Technology is above them most of the time.
We currently use mlxchange and have been waiting for it to be Safari, FoxFire compliant for years. We finally were told they were beta testing in Austin with a product called Fusion.
But, they are using flash to upgrade, now how is that gonna work out for you with Ipads and Iphones….NOT.
Us, Mac users (which is becoming more and more in Ann Arbor) are frustrated beyond belief.
Eric Holmes
May 9, 2011 at 11:49 am
I think if you look at the demographics of each association you'll get a better idea of why they're slow, cumbersome dinosaurs. For every forward thinking, go-getter Realtor that's in the business there are ten "old school" agents that wish we were using dot matrix printers, mls books and the only competition in town were FSBO's. If you think about it the Association is doing exactly what is expected of them by the majority of it's members. They don't want change and they don't want cutting edge. They want to hop in a DeLorean, kick that puppy up 88 mph and head back to 1985.
The issue then becomes do you turn your back on the Association because you're not being represented or do you get involved and change the culture. Me, I'm getting involved. I don't know all the answers or for that matter half the questions, but I read AgentGenius and a few other blogs so I've got a head start on the "old school" agents that are out there. Most of them think that if they put their head in the sand then this will all go away. I'm going to go by and kick those agents in the rear and tell them to hop on board because this train is only going one direction.
John Rowles
May 9, 2011 at 12:14 pm
>The battle for relevancy has internalized and is spreading from within..
Sooner or later Brokers are going to realize that content=power.
Today, the local MLS, IDX sites, Realtor.com, Trulia, Zillow and the rest use the *content that brokers give them* (GIVE them!!!) to beat the broker's own domain in Google. Now, we can add Realogy to the list of companies with brand-driven PageRank that will be competing with local brokers using content those local brokers originated.
Maybe, just maybe, that will be a bridge too far and brokers will demand the separation of the "church" of the local board and all it does outside of organizing listings and the "state" of MLS+IDX, but I'm not holding my breath.
Brokers who are ready to recognize the need to put the homebuyer's interest ahead of their own perceived self interest today are invited to MainRhode.com/contact.shtm where they can request our new whitepaper on "search reciprocity".
In a search reciprocity network, brokers agree to trade traffic at the search result level for their own listings so that the homebuyer is put in touch with the only customer service rep the industry has to offer that actually knows anything about the property in question — the listing agent.
The net result is that Google will be able to tell that the listing broker's domain is the most relevant domain for any particular listing, because every other broker domain on the network will point to it — end of story. Since the whole thing is open source and cloud hosted, it is affordable and scalable.
To paraphrase Yakov Smirnoff, "What a concept".
Jim Whatley
May 9, 2011 at 9:56 pm
We are lucky at the Emerald coast Association of Realtors. We Use Solid Earth. I have be able to talk to The CEO of our MLS provider. He gets it. He understand he will not be able to provide all of our request. What they do is provide the information so others can make apps, software and IDX to fill out tool box. I'm with John, I do not think Realogy, NAR and most information providers really care if I'm around next year. I better stay ahead of the the game. If I have to stand on my head and spit nickels for google I will. I'm in the real estate marketing business. The Most powerful tool out there is your local MLS. If don't have the IDX feed that stands out what's the point. Will google even now it's your listing.
BawldGuy
May 10, 2011 at 10:54 am
I'm with Teresa. There is no problem, at least any new one. Realtor leadership is an oxymoronic phrase. Get over it. It's been that way since I learned what a real estate agent was back in the mid-60's.
Zillow, Trulia, and the rest simply don't matter a hill of beans to agents. Sure, some have figured out how to game those systems, and more power to 'em, they're smart folk. But in the end? It's still about producing consistent results, and no, the associations, as dumb as they've been about the data, etc., aren't the reason an agent fails — or succeeds.
Tech or no tech — produce results and move on.
Oh, and for those who'll opt in knee jerk fashion to label me a dinosaur, I'm OldSchool, but no dinosaur. I don't complain about various association missteps, cuz frankly, they don't matter much. I use technology to the best of my limited understanding. It serves me well.
There is no crisis. There is only lack of results. IMHO, most who are concerned as agents on this 'topic' should stop making excuses, and start making good. The public will always, as a rule, opt for results over TechGuy.
There, I feel much better.