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No One Wants a Desperate Date

Remember your high school prom? No? Well remember your kids in high school anticipating the prom? Now… that is better.


There is much anticipation in the months leading up to prom. The shopping for the “the dress” starts right after Christmas, beauty appointments are made months in advance. All you need is a date. Sometimes guys jump in too quickly and by the time, prom rolls around they are stuck going to the dance with someone who is now just a friend and they would rather be with someone else.

Don’t get desperate

Captivating a lead can be a lot like going to the prom. You dress your web-site up; do all the right things to attract that visitor and then nothing. Or you finally get a prospect and you turn them completely off by being too aggressive.
In the past I have written on The Problem is not Traffic so you know I do believe in the importance of initiating the conversation right away. But, after that the ball is in their court.

Prospects can smell desperation a mile away

Not everyone responds to “Hurry up and buy”; “Rates are Low”; “This house is going quickly”. It can come across as desperate. There is balance in all things. Be real, be available, and let them set the pace.

Dance with the Right One

Getting new leads is like being invited to the prom, thrilling. It’s great to pique their curiosity in your marketing, give them the WOW, and make them want to come back for more. But, ultimately going to the dance has to be fun for both of you to say it was a great night transaction.

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Written By

Written by Missy Caulk, Associate Broker at Keller Williams Ann Arbor. Missy is the author of Ann Arbor Real Estate Talk and Blog Ann Arbor, and is also the Director for the Ann Arbor Area Board of Realtors and Member of MLS and Grievance Committee's.



  1. fred

    December 22, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    LOL “dance with the right one” but are any of them dancing?

  2. Missy Caulk

    December 22, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    Fred, yes they are, really busy in Ann Arbor right now. Go figure, it is snowy and cold and things are hopping.

  3. fred

    December 22, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Come visit CT! It’s like someone turned off the water.

  4. Elaine Reese

    December 22, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    Busy here too … maybe it’s a Midwest thing. OK, are you the 2nd from the right?

  5. Elizabeth Golden

    December 22, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    Missy, Great analogy! I am busy busy here in Huntsville also. My thoughts are that our “dates” need to get to know us first. It’s all about trust. When our buyers trust us, they’ll let us guide them. When the right home does come along, they will feel comfortable, knowing they have made the right decision, with our guidance.

  6. Monika

    December 22, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    Sort of a mixed bag up here. We have people dancing…but that’s all they do..just keep on dancing and dancing.

  7. Ken Brand

    December 22, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    Yes. I see it too.

    How we approach “like”, “lust”, “love”, “fun”, “friendship”, “seduction”, “persuasion”, “communication” and “commitment” in real life works exactly the same in the real estate business.

    Nice reminder, nice prom picture. Why do the girls at the prom look like they do and the guys look like little dorks (in most pictures anyway.)

    Hoping for a big Prom in 09.

  8. Missy Caulk

    December 22, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    Elaine, that is my daughter, Allyssa and all her girlfriends taking photo’s beforehand.

    Ken, LOL I am hopping for a big prom too in 09.

    Elizabeth, that is why we never give up or discard them but nuture them along the way.

  9. Matt Stigliano

    December 22, 2008 at 7:56 pm

    Missy – I’m sure you’ve always got a full dance card thanks to your methods. Thanks for the reminder. I know there have been times when I sent out an email and thought “geez, could you have sounded anymore desperate?” I have had to adapt quickly as I went along, as most people in my office don’t deal with the internet much and as we both know, those buyers and sellers work at a completely different pace. Hope you have a wonderful holiday and a great 2009. I’m looking forward to the New Year, I feel it will be “my year.” See you around in the comments section.

  10. Brian Block

    December 23, 2008 at 7:29 am


    My favorite is those listing agents who forget to update their listings and I always laugh when I see listing remarks that say

    “This house won’t last! Hurry!”

    after the home has been on the market for 6 months!

  11. teresa boardman

    December 23, 2008 at 2:56 pm

    LOL we used to call it “commission breath” to be successful we have to work with passion like we don’t need the money.

  12. Paula Henry

    December 24, 2008 at 6:07 am

    Missy – Love the analogy! Nothing can kill a sell or relationship like desperation. If the client believes you are desperate, will they believe you are looking out for their best interest? Just a thought!

  13. Steve Simon

    December 25, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    It is like “Martial Arts, a matter of balance…” You certainly would not want to be seen as playing “Hard to get” in this market!
    Not to hungry, not to aloof; as I said a matter of balance:)

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