Breaking the Golden Rule – Is It Worth It?

I can usually find SOMETHING nice to say about the other agent, and if I love working with them I am thrilled to talk nicely about them. If you say bad things about other people, the person you were talking to just remembers you were negative, you might as well have said the bad things about yourself!

Lisa – AWESOME post! If only those agents who do engage in that kind of bashing really thought about how it actually makes them look in the eyes of others, I wonder if they’d continue belittling others to make themselves look ‘good’. Those who tear others apart have truly very little confidence and self-worth, and see that as the only way to make themselves appear to be the better person – which is a shame.

As you said, the Code of Ethics addresses it, as well as that good old “Golden Rule”. You wonder if they even know what that is…..

My husband and I are in the early stages of house-hunting and have been very disappointed by the lack of professionalism in this area. We GET that people want our business…putting down their peers is the sure way to ensure that they won’t get it. GREAT piece!

Karma is a bitch. Those that play silly games bashing others will eventually get their just dues. The odds are overwhelming that if I’m asked about someone specifically, I won’t know them, (there are what, 40,000 agents in the Phoenix area). If I do know them, and they are good, then that’s the feedback I give. If I know them and they are a troll, I’ll make some neutral comment along the lines of “I’ve only worked with them a little, can’t really say much either way”.

So true, Lisa. If a seller who was previously listed with another agents, re-lists with me, I just let them vent. I actually see this more than competing for listings. Then I say……….”ok, feel better?” “Let’s get going it is a new day”.

What’s the point in trashing another Realtor, because you will be sitting across from them no doubt.

Sarah, love your photo and saying.

There is a difference in “bad mouthing” and complete “fabricated libel”…
Slander the negative attack based on false statements can be brief and or unsophisticated; however libel, the negative attack based on fixed statements or images (written rather than spoken) has for me, a much deeper connotation.
I would not tolerate it.
There is a difference.
Just my thoughts:)

I agree – it’s always better to take the highroad (or the right road). Name calling and bad talking just looks tacky and isn’t right in any profession or situation. Nice post

Lisa – Your story reads like a novel right out of the REALTOR Soap Opera Magazine. It sucks and it makes me mad but regretfully our business is filled with unsavory characters. Clearly she fears you and must make herself feel better by putting you down. I applaud you taking the moral high ground and believe that Karma will come back to bite others in the booty. I wish you all the best.

I know this wasn’t your question, but the ultimate “high road” in this situation is to graciously confront the alleged offender. Tell her what you’ve heard and give her the opportunity to confirm or deny it.

If it is true that we believe bad-mouthing to be unethical, why not set up an informal, f2f meeting with that competitor?

Perhaps he/she has some inaccurate information about you and that would give you an opportunity to correct that info and learn more about him/her.

Since your article title addressed the Golden Rule, it might be a good idea to look at how WE would want to be treated had the situation been reversed.

I teach thousands of Realtors all year long and I’ve got to be honest here, you all know who the S.O.B.s are in your market. People do talk about competitors.

If you had mentioned something about a competitor, and it got back to the competitor, wouldn’t you want him/her to contact you directly, instead of, say, turning that person in to the Assoc of Realtors on an Ethics violation?

Sure. We all would want the courtesy of being contacted first. What an embarrasing mistake. Perhaps the person will be humble about it, perhaps not. But at least consider giving that person the chance to talk to you directly.

When we help each other grow, it helps the entire industry get a little bit better.

Thanks to Inman for the link here. Great site. Jillayne from raincityguide

An interesting discussion except for the fact that it’s not much of a “discussion.” I think there’s another very real aspect to this, particularly in “small” markets where the numbers create a level of familiarity between agents and among buyers and sellers.

The fact is there are some very BAD agents practicing. I recently worked with one who complained to her Designated Broker that I had a “serious character disorder.” (The facts are that I had to become very insistent over several issues that arose during the transaction to protect my client’s interest and she found that somehow “rude and insulting.” Her complaint included the observation that it was my “fiduciary duty to my client to get along with her so things would go smoothly!”)

After pointing out that I could find no statue that made a “character disorder” a violation of real estate law I made this observation: I will never sacrifice my client’s best interest in order to “get along” with another agent. Ethics is not one-dimensional.

Surely there is a high road, but there is also a need to confront and acknowledge incompetence. We need to remember we work for clients; not for the Realtor Association, the Code of Ethics, or the industry.

I can assure you that I will not try to find “something nice” to say about this agent (who has burned a number of other agents in the area and more than a few clients/customers). I think it could be argued that the “high road” would include some intolerance of agents who cannot or will not perform at some basic level of competence. Yes, their reputations preceed them… but they are th elephant standing in the room that we can’t simply pretend isn’t there.

Well, Melina… I guess we effectively “killed” this thread! It’s too bad because it could be an interesting topic… Does “taking the high road” and only saying nice things about everybody increase customer confidence in our industry?

Of course in the ideal world “taking the high road” might be defined as filing an ethics complaint against some of these “bad” realtors for behaviors that actually harm clients.

Lisa, I was dismayed when I was going against a “friend” who now works at a different office. When we worked together at the same office, I covered for her many times with the broker (i.e., when she was late or forgot an appointment, or if she neglected to fax something or get something scheduled, I covered for her.) She often complimented me and told me that I was a great agent, etc.

Until we were interviewing, months and new offices later, for the same listing.

She told the seller that I was inexperienced in keeping buyers, that I was only good with marketing. What the heck ?? How dare she?

When the seller told me this, I just said that no, in fact, I have several long term and returning customers…but wow, I was flabbergasted that she did that.

Dear Jaded Realtor: I don’t recall anyone saying anything about expecting other agents being responsible for helping us build our client base.

They are, if they are REALTORS, bound by the Code of Ethics, however, which prohibits them from badmouthing their competition, which is the point of this blog.

In my case, the customer simply brought it up on his own, I certainly didn’t fish for info. He wanted me to respond to an allegation that another agent made about me (that I couldn’t hold onto buyers.)