
An animated discussion on ethics training
“Does anyone else find it ironic that NAR – the trade association for Realtors – has to mandate that members take an ethics class every four years?” An agent who attended one of my company’s broker opens yesterday posed that question to the wine and cheese grazing attendees. Of course, that opened up an animated discussion on the value of etchics training and the lack of enforcement when the rules are violated.
One agent volunteered that the guy sitting next to her in her last ethics class played games on his cell phone and then cheated during the test at the end of the class. Seriously, dude? You cannot even pay attention long enough to pass what should be the easiest test you’ll ever have to take in your career? Perhaps he was just seeing how far he could push it by cheating during an ethics test, to see if anyone else around him caught the extreme irony there. None of the other agents around him – including the agent he cheated off – turned him in and the instructor didn’t notice.
This same agent later called one of my sellers and tried to convince him to break a listing contract with me, because he had a “guaranteed buyer” in the wings. The seller was an attorney, and this bozo tried to get me cut out of the deal, offering the seller a reduced fee to dump me. The seller held firm and directed the agent to call me, then the seller called to let me know about the conversation.
“But you know if you file something the other agent will know.”
It gets better. After the deal closed, I requested paperwork from our local Board of Realtors to file an ethics complaint. The person in charge said, “But you know if you file something the other agent will know.” Gee. Really? I asked her to send the paperwork over anyway.
I called the seller/attorney and asked him to repeat the conversation to me, because I was documenting it to file a complaint. He turned wishy washy on me at that point and his story changed from “The other agent tried to get me to dump you as the listing agent to cut you out” to “Well he really only asked a few questions and I told him to call you. He probably didn’t mean any harm by it.” So there goes my star witness, who doesn’t want to rock the boat.
I didn’t file the complaint. I resorted to the “turn the blind eye but never trust the sleazeball again” path. And that is what happens to almost all ethics issues I hear about / see in person.
That’s what happens when you have a self-policing group of “professionals” who would rather not “narc” on a fellow agent. After all you’re probably going to end up on the other side of a deal from this guy some day, right? The guy in my example has sold two of my houses since that run-in. Why tick him off by filing a complaint and going through all that hassle? If he stops bringing buyers to my properties then my sellers ultimately lose, right?
Boiling down the CoE
The NAR Code of Ethics takes up pages and pages of tiny print, and it runs each year in their trade magazine (I think it’s the January issue). Does anybody read that? Probably not many. I’d argue none of us ever should have to read it again. Simply follow this advice instead. The thousands of words in the Code boil down to one thing: Do unto other agents, and consumers, and clients, what you would have them do unto you. It’s the Golden Rule. Simple. Well, obviously not, for many agents and brokers.
The sad part is the agent in my example had no clue how close I was to filing that compaint, and if he did know he’d probably scratch his head and wonder why his actions were “wrong.” Making us take a one-day class every few years won’t “make” the unethical agents suddenly operate ethically. Most of them just don’t get it.
Sarah Cooper
October 22, 2008 at 11:02 am
I can usually find SOMETHING nice to say about the other agent, and if I love working with them I am thrilled to talk nicely about them. If you say bad things about other people, the person you were talking to just remembers you were negative, you might as well have said the bad things about yourself!
Ryan Hukill
October 22, 2008 at 11:02 am
Great approach… taking the high road. Your graphic above says it all, and the clients you want will be aligned with that philosophy as well.
Ann Cummings
October 22, 2008 at 11:03 am
Lisa – AWESOME post! If only those agents who do engage in that kind of bashing really thought about how it actually makes them look in the eyes of others, I wonder if they’d continue belittling others to make themselves look ‘good’. Those who tear others apart have truly very little confidence and self-worth, and see that as the only way to make themselves appear to be the better person – which is a shame.
As you said, the Code of Ethics addresses it, as well as that good old “Golden Rule”. You wonder if they even know what that is…..
Jonathan Dalton
October 22, 2008 at 11:09 am
You never know who you’ll see in a cross sale. Better to stay neutral … that’s just common sense, COE aside
Betsy
October 22, 2008 at 11:11 am
My husband and I are in the early stages of house-hunting and have been very disappointed by the lack of professionalism in this area. We GET that people want our business…putting down their peers is the sure way to ensure that they won’t get it. GREAT piece!
Dan O'Halloran
October 22, 2008 at 11:23 am
Lisa- very well put. I completely agree with you on asking who else they are interviewing and making sure to not go down the negative road. There really is no need for that and if you’re a good agent, your presentation will speak for itself.
Jay Thompson
October 22, 2008 at 11:25 am
Karma is a bitch. Those that play silly games bashing others will eventually get their just dues. The odds are overwhelming that if I’m asked about someone specifically, I won’t know them, (there are what, 40,000 agents in the Phoenix area). If I do know them, and they are good, then that’s the feedback I give. If I know them and they are a troll, I’ll make some neutral comment along the lines of “I’ve only worked with them a little, can’t really say much either way”.
Jason Sandquist
October 22, 2008 at 11:44 am
Say the magic word and I will break some kneecaps.
Take the highroad, it will come around tenfold in the end.
Missy Caulk
October 22, 2008 at 11:55 am
So true, Lisa. If a seller who was previously listed with another agents, re-lists with me, I just let them vent. I actually see this more than competing for listings. Then I say……….”ok, feel better?” “Let’s get going it is a new day”.
What’s the point in trashing another Realtor, because you will be sitting across from them no doubt.
Sarah, love your photo and saying.
Kathy Drewien
October 22, 2008 at 12:49 pm
LOVE the photo and quote! I’m always hurt to find out someone is standing on my shoulders to make themselves look taller. Doesn’t matter if I understand their diminished self-esteem or lack of confidence drives the behavior. I’m hurt. And, it’s because I would never dream of being critical of them publicly.
When I’m being considered for a job, I’m often asked about other agents. Some I don’t know personally, some I do. When I do know the other agent, I can usually find a point of difference highlighting my expertise; but not at the expense of someone else. (I can almost always say: Google me, then Google them and tell me what you learned.)
It just doesn’t pay to be critical of others. Besides, it’s just not nice.
Steve Simon
October 22, 2008 at 1:16 pm
There is a difference in “bad mouthing” and complete “fabricated libel”…
Slander the negative attack based on false statements can be brief and or unsophisticated; however libel, the negative attack based on fixed statements or images (written rather than spoken) has for me, a much deeper connotation.
I would not tolerate it.
There is a difference.
Just my thoughts:)
Jay Thompson
October 22, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I wouldn’t care if it is slander or libel (written or spoken defamation), it’s wrong. I don’t even care if it violates the Realtor Code of Ethics.
It violates the Code of Being a Decent Human.
And it’s wrong no matter no matter how it’s labeled — whether it’s in writing, spoken or sent in smoke signals.
Jayson
October 22, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I agree – it’s always better to take the highroad (or the right road). Name calling and bad talking just looks tacky and isn’t right in any profession or situation. Nice post
Kris Berg
October 22, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Lisa,
It has sadly happened to me as well. This is a very competitive business, and I continue to find it surprising that there are those who think it is OK to behave badly. On the bright side, I have actually come out on the winning side of a competitive listing situation because the other agent was classlessly trashing me, and the client wasn’t impressed.
Nicole Boynton
October 22, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Lisa – Your story reads like a novel right out of the REALTOR Soap Opera Magazine. It sucks and it makes me mad but regretfully our business is filled with unsavory characters. Clearly she fears you and must make herself feel better by putting you down. I applaud you taking the moral high ground and believe that Karma will come back to bite others in the booty. I wish you all the best.
Ginger Wilcox
October 22, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I can’t fathom a good reason to ever bad mouth a peer to a client. It can only come back to bite you. I like to hear Nicole’s story. I think that many clients would discount an agent who bad mouthed another. If you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say anything.
Norm Fisher
October 22, 2008 at 4:52 pm
I know this wasn’t your question, but the ultimate “high road” in this situation is to graciously confront the alleged offender. Tell her what you’ve heard and give her the opportunity to confirm or deny it.
Lisa Sanderson
October 22, 2008 at 5:43 pm
By the looks of all these comments, it seems I hit a nerve. Glad to hear that good old fashioned taste and manners are still alive and well. And Betsy is a great example of a consumer that sees right through the base tactics of some and values professionalism above all else. The client in the instance I wrote about felt the same way, and they did end up choosing me to sell their home. I guess the sweetest revenge is that I was able to sell it quickly for them and at the price they needed!
We do need to talk about these kinds of things among ourselves, with our peers and in our offices (go ahead, forward this article to someone who needs it!) This is the kind of stuff that makes us look like a bunch of cutthroat money-grubbers to consumers. We each need to responsibly represent our industry to the public as truly professional.
Jillayne Schlicke
October 22, 2008 at 6:14 pm
If it is true that we believe bad-mouthing to be unethical, why not set up an informal, f2f meeting with that competitor?
Perhaps he/she has some inaccurate information about you and that would give you an opportunity to correct that info and learn more about him/her.
Since your article title addressed the Golden Rule, it might be a good idea to look at how WE would want to be treated had the situation been reversed.
I teach thousands of Realtors all year long and I’ve got to be honest here, you all know who the S.O.B.s are in your market. People do talk about competitors.
If you had mentioned something about a competitor, and it got back to the competitor, wouldn’t you want him/her to contact you directly, instead of, say, turning that person in to the Assoc of Realtors on an Ethics violation?
Sure. We all would want the courtesy of being contacted first. What an embarrasing mistake. Perhaps the person will be humble about it, perhaps not. But at least consider giving that person the chance to talk to you directly.
When we help each other grow, it helps the entire industry get a little bit better.
Thanks to Inman for the link here. Great site. Jillayne from raincityguide
Paula Henry
October 22, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Kill em with kindness:) I recently received a call from a home owner who wanted me to tell him there was something his Realtor could have done to keep him from having to pay the new current taxes and the additional tax bill all of Indianapolis had to pay last year. I was not going there! Nothing good ever comes of putting down another or trashing ther reputation. Their reputation will proceed them and we don’t have to do a thing.
Jaded Realtor
October 23, 2008 at 7:06 am
An interesting discussion except for the fact that it’s not much of a “discussion.” I think there’s another very real aspect to this, particularly in “small” markets where the numbers create a level of familiarity between agents and among buyers and sellers.
The fact is there are some very BAD agents practicing. I recently worked with one who complained to her Designated Broker that I had a “serious character disorder.” (The facts are that I had to become very insistent over several issues that arose during the transaction to protect my client’s interest and she found that somehow “rude and insulting.” Her complaint included the observation that it was my “fiduciary duty to my client to get along with her so things would go smoothly!”)
After pointing out that I could find no statue that made a “character disorder” a violation of real estate law I made this observation: I will never sacrifice my client’s best interest in order to “get along” with another agent. Ethics is not one-dimensional.
Surely there is a high road, but there is also a need to confront and acknowledge incompetence. We need to remember we work for clients; not for the Realtor Association, the Code of Ethics, or the industry.
I can assure you that I will not try to find “something nice” to say about this agent (who has burned a number of other agents in the area and more than a few clients/customers). I think it could be argued that the “high road” would include some intolerance of agents who cannot or will not perform at some basic level of competence. Yes, their reputations preceed them… but they are th elephant standing in the room that we can’t simply pretend isn’t there.
Melina Tomson
October 23, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I have to agree with Jaded Realtor a little on this one. I agree with what you are saying in your blog and I don’t say anything bad about other people, in general BUT…I do think that you need to prep buyers and/or sellers if you know you have a less than professional agent presenting an offer or working on a listing.
I have told clients “I have worked with this agent in the past and the transaction was bumpy. I just want you to be prepared in case that happens again.” There are bad agents that make easy transactions hard for no reason whatsoever. I think it is okay to prep clients for that.
Like anything…it’s all in the presentation and how you say it.
Jaded Realtor
October 27, 2008 at 10:33 am
Well, Melina… I guess we effectively “killed” this thread! It’s too bad because it could be an interesting topic… Does “taking the high road” and only saying nice things about everybody increase customer confidence in our industry?
Of course in the ideal world “taking the high road” might be defined as filing an ethics complaint against some of these “bad” realtors for behaviors that actually harm clients.
Lisa Sanderson
October 28, 2008 at 10:33 am
AG threads never die.
There is a lot of good advice to be gleaned here but the most important thing to remember is, every situation is different and even the slightest change in circumstance can demand a different approach. We all just need to take responsibility for our own professionalism and determine to add to the professionalism of others as we see fit or as is appropriate.
And of course, our clients’ best interests are priority #1!
When in doubt, talk to your broker and/or seek counsel. In PA we have a Legal Hotline sponsored by our State REALTOR Association. Not sure if other states have that but ours is a good resource in a pinch.
Karen Rice
November 2, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Lisa, I was dismayed when I was going against a “friend” who now works at a different office. When we worked together at the same office, I covered for her many times with the broker (i.e., when she was late or forgot an appointment, or if she neglected to fax something or get something scheduled, I covered for her.) She often complimented me and told me that I was a great agent, etc.
Until we were interviewing, months and new offices later, for the same listing.
She told the seller that I was inexperienced in keeping buyers, that I was only good with marketing. What the heck ?? How dare she?
When the seller told me this, I just said that no, in fact, I have several long term and returning customers…but wow, I was flabbergasted that she did that.
Jaded Realtor
November 3, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Ultimately, most of this falls under the heading of “gossip” and should probably be treated as such.
Personally, I’m inclined not to dignify gossip with a defense, because I’m more interested in what the consumer thinks than what they tell me another agent is saying about me. I think sometimes consumers attribute things to agents because it makes it “easier” for them to ask the hard questions.
One harsh reality is that other agents aren’t responsible for helping us build and maintain our client base no matter how “nice” we have been to them. This is a competitive business, but we get to choose the basis for competing.
Karen Rice
November 3, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Dear Jaded Realtor: I don’t recall anyone saying anything about expecting other agents being responsible for helping us build our client base.
They are, if they are REALTORS, bound by the Code of Ethics, however, which prohibits them from badmouthing their competition, which is the point of this blog.
In my case, the customer simply brought it up on his own, I certainly didn’t fish for info. He wanted me to respond to an allegation that another agent made about me (that I couldn’t hold onto buyers.)
Jaded Realtor
November 4, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Dear Karen,
And I was not attributing or directing my point to you or anyone else — nor was I accusing you of fishing for information.
My point, simply, is my personal practice with “badmouthing” is:
1. Not to rely on the Code of Ethics to protect me from being badmouthed.
2. Not to be overly concerned when it happens – there are many different possible reasons for it — and in some cases, it didn’t really happen.
I also think the point of ANY blog is the discussion and sharing of ideas. The original post included the question “How do you respond?” There are many different options and alternatives.