People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Matt Stigliano
August 18, 2009 at 9:48 am
Matt – For some strange reason, our here on the Northeast side of town (it happens elsewhere, but it seems rampant here), people don’t like to use decimals in acreage numbers. So a quarter of an acre shows up in the MLS as 25 acres. Big difference, no? It makes it pretty hard when searching for a property in larger acreages. I was looking for a 1 acre or larger site for someone and that was their main criteria – I had to wade through hundreds of listings, most of which were homes with a postage stamp sized yard that were incorrectly entered.
We all make mistakes from time to time and I try and be understanding when it looks like it’s one little detail that I would have done differently or know better, but when a listing is rife with mistakes it really makes for a rough search.
jf.sellsius.theclozing
August 18, 2009 at 11:15 am
I am convinced that the MLS system sells MANY more homes than any internet portal.
It is the first place real estate agents look, (and, perhaps in many cases, the only place… unless it fails to deliver).
Sites like TruZilla offer only incremental listing value. They survive on selling the perception that if the listing is more widely disseminated, it must bring many more buyers—an internet myth, in my opinion. Show me the stats. I’m of the belief that those portal buyers are miniscule in comparison to the MLS machine.
Matt Wilkins
August 18, 2009 at 11:42 am
Natt – things like that do happen everywhere. Up here it seems more listings where the home style and type are incorrect. The bigger thing I see is the number of listings where no one feels needs to fill in the optional fields even if the answers are know. You can save a lot of precous comment space by just checking the boxes.
Joe – I agree completely thus why I wanted to surface the point of taking the time to fill out complete and accurate listing cards. I kinda chuckle when I have to call a listing agent to get a question answered that should of been clearly communicated via the MLS listing.
markbrian
August 18, 2009 at 12:26 pm
It is sad but many times I think this is a case of the agent fills out the paperwork and then hands it to an assistant or office person to enter into the MLS. The agent then never double checks the listing for accuracy. If more sellers did the same thing that the banks do and ask for a copy of the MLS listing then this problem, as well as the lack of pictures I often see, would not happen as much.
Brian Larson
August 19, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Accurate data is one of the big strategic strengths of MLSs and should be a key strategic focus. It’s tricky though: several of our MLS clients that have adopted an aggressive stance toward enforcing data accuracy rules have felt push-back from brokers. Brokers claim they don’t want “rule Nazis” (always the reductio ad Hitlerum) in “jack boots,” etc.
-Brian
Jeff Allen
August 19, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Having accurate data in MLS is completely essential. From a selfish point of view, the more accurate the data the better our ability at 10K to provide detailed and reliable market trend analysis.
From an industry point of view, it looks extremely unprofessional to consumers to see issues like the one Matt S. mentioned in his comment. That reflects poorly on EVERY realtor, not just the listing agent for that property.
Paula Henry
August 22, 2009 at 9:52 pm
I came across this issue twice this week. One client wants a master bedroom on the main level; another wants a garden tub in the master. I know there were homes missing from the searches. As I did my search, I wondered how many listings were not properly represented by the agent.
It is such a simple step and yet, often overlooked.
Lisa Sanderson
August 22, 2009 at 10:00 pm
I am surprised by the number of sellers who never see how their home appears in the MLS. I always send them a link to get an extra couple sets of eyes on the listing to ensure accuracy.
Real Estate System
September 19, 2009 at 12:14 am
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