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Tesla Model S P85D rocks so hard it broke Consumer Ratings’ system

The Tesla Model S P85D is so incredible, that it scored a 103 out of 100 in the most recent Consumer Reports testing.



Tesla has been under some heavy scrutiny

Tesla Motors has been the subject of some hefty controversy over the years. Between the relentless skepticism based around electric cars, the scandal regarding TM’s software—and the resulting stock depreciation—and the generally unattainable price of their basest model, it’s no wonder we’ve been writing off a Teslas on the highway the same way we would a bicycle in the same setting.

Tesla needed more than a revolutionary model; they needed something bold enough to intimidate the market into being impressed.

Enter the best car in the history of ever

Enter the Tesla P85D: 128,000 dollars’ worth of pure, unadulterated automotive genius. The P85D hit the track with a 0-60 time of just 3.5 seconds—a .2 second victory over Chevrolet’s legendary Stingray (2015)—and it proceeded to outperform the very scale by which it was judged. Consumer Reports’ rating system utilizes a 100 point system; the P85D scored a scale-breaking 103.

What makes this unveiling so sweet is the fact that a large amount of Tesla’s support base has steadily bailed over the years. Recently, Tesla’s stock value plummeted; with the addition of this car to their fleet, however, the company has seen a staggering eight percent increase in their stock prices.

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Tesla Motors has produced a car so comprehensive, it basically says “suck it, haters” of its own volition.

Tesla proves that you can have your cake, eat it too

Frankly, the stigma regarding electric vehicles is rooted in technochauvinism, performance-based snobbery, and a typical fear of the unknown. The fact is simply that this country isn’t quite ready for the technology behind Tesla’s innovation—for example, to support a full array of electric vehicles, there would need to be a smattering of electric charge stations every hundred miles or so, all over the place—but that’s no reason to inhibit innovation.

Say what you will about electric cars, but the Tesla P85D is steadily disproving the old saying “you can’t have your cake and eat it too.” The future of electric vehicles is looking very bright, indeed.


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Jack Lloyd has a BA in Creative Writing from Forest Grove's Pacific University; he spends his writing days using his degree to pursue semicolons, freelance writing and editing, oxford commas, and enough coffee to kill a bear. His infatuation with rain is matched only by his dry sense of humor.

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