Cue the music: “You’ve got to ac-cen-tuate the positive, e-lim-inate…” Oh, where was I? Yes, waste on the MLS. Check out these hilarious bloopers that were wasted opportunities to advertise listings. Remember, friends: Spell and Sell!
Eliminate The Negative
“Dumpers in driveway removed soon” (Yeah, if someone took a dump in my driveway, he’d be “removed” to the hood of my speeding car.)
“Buyers will tank you” (I think you tanked yourself.)
“2 porches & mad room” (Hmmm…padded walls must be back in style.)
“Energy saber appliances” (I’ll alert Obi-Wan.)
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“Seller wall carry” (That’s one sure way to get a hernia.)
Accentuate the Positive
“Views of cannon” (…shrugged Robert E. Lee to his Lieutenent at Gettysburg while Map Questing the Appomattox Courthouse.)
“New point upper level” (Yes, I can see it there on the top of your head.)
“Damage from moister intrushion” (Let me guess – the diagnosis regarding the water on your brain?)
“Flor needs buff” (Just put a paper bag over her head.)
There Is No In-Between
“Very nice manicared” (Either this is Medicare for men only, or a Beauty Salon in West Hollywood.)
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“Whitewarshed” (This must be a cousin to the ever-popular German sausage, the “bratwarshed.”)
“Kitchen all stains” (A bit like your professional reputation, eh?)
“Tub and shower congregation” (This congregation must belong to the Church of Cleanliness-is-next-to-Godliness.)
“Lots of lovely walking pats in area” (That sounds remarkably like The Stepford Wives.)
Sold For a Song (My Fave of the Week)
“Matched real good” (…said the bull to Mrs. O’Leary’s cow as they cavorted in the pasture while Chicago burned.)