Our office is the #1 brokerage in our area, doing about twice the next highest brokerages production, and we’ve about 20% or so of the entire market share.
We – as in the entire office of like 45 people – took just 4 listings in November.
See where I’m going with this?
Plus I’ve seen in the last month or so two heavy hitter agents just turn around and take management jobs. No doubt their… well I can’t say “age”… lets say “time in the business” has worn on them a bit, but these are pretty dyed in the wool cash queens. One bitches about every top producer trophy she gets saying, “why don’t they just send me $50 instead of wasting their money on this” as she tosses them in the trash.
To cut a long story short, there is markedly limited potential to make a full time living at real estate in my area. Both for right now, and I strongly suspect for at least the next two years. I’m a positive guy, but I ain’t standing in the snow imagining a beach.
It’s time for Plan B.
Actually it was probably time for Plan B months ago, but I am slow on the uptake and too positive for my own good sometimes.
Plan B… code named “Operation Survive The Storm”.
1. Get an actual job that pays money. Luckily I’m still a nurse (NEVER LET A LICENSE LAPSE), so no real concern about managing to find something that pays the bills. The opportunity cost for not working as a nurse and getting paid benefits etc has been pretty heavy. By that token I’ve seriously lost money this year.
2. Worry less about the damn blog. Honestly everyone that seems to be getting actual lead traction from these things are already pretty established as agents. For a new agent in terms of leads and income generation they seem near completely worthless. In terms of getting an education and forcing personal growth and knowledge of the business, they are pretty good.
3. I have produced an awful lot of content in the last year and a bit. That is going to get repackaged into one shiny beautiful PDF white paper that will amount to the be all and end all of my real estate marketing attempts. Then it’s tracking FSBO’s and Expireds in my database and mailing regularly to prompt a response to down load and read the white paper and then, and only then, call me for an appointment. It won’t be for everyone of course, that is exactly the idea though.
I want nothing but sellers willing to do what it takes to sell, and will be referring off the buyer side of the equation, or maybe even simply paying for someone else to show properties.
The goal is four or more listings in 2008 to simply break even on my REALTOR fees, MLS fees, Errors and Omissions Fees, a second helping of MLS fees, Direct Mail Expenses, and the Opportunity Cost of spending my time shoving letters into envelopes instead of picking up an extra nursing shift every once in a while.
4. I’m getting a tattoo. I’ve just always secretly wanted one.
5. I’m going to stop bothering to try and sell photography services to other agents. The more you guys suck, the better I look, so it’s not really in my interest to help you out any. It takes about 50 photo shoot fees to equal 1 commission, so I figure it’s less work to just try and pick up your leftovers as an expired. I will sell photography services, but everyone is getting the same rate ($100 or a blow job) and you call me.
I will most definitely be taking a lot of photos and refining my photo skills further.
6. I’m not doing fluffy bunnies floor time, or open houses anymore. These are horribly inefficient ways of meeting qualified people who might actually want to…. oh I dunno… actually have a transaction at some point.
7. And importantly – I will not be holding a funeral service for Plan A.
“House on coroner” and other deadly marketing typos
Realtors that don’t proof read their property descriptions in the MLS inevitably end up in the hall of shame here at AGBeat. We hand pick these bloopers in hope that you will be inspired to check yourself before you go and wreck yourself.
Hi Friends – it’s blooper day, and I found some hilarious gaffes on the MLS this week. I think I finally figured out why we consistently see such errors – agents are letting their pets write their listing remarks. On the other hand, I suspect that my dog can spell better than some of these culprits, so I may be casting unfair aspersions. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for the Blooper of the Week (she hit the mother lode with that one).
Is There A Pulse?
“2 beds uhg” (Me Tarzan, you dummy.)
“Big barths” (Yeah, that usually accompanies a bad hangover…)
“No balls after 9 pm” (My ex had the same problem.)
“House will shit all buyers” (Hence the corn particles in the front yard?)
“Sorry – already bought” (Sign taped to back of seats in the House Chamber.)
Can You Detect A Heartbeat?
“Stay toned for open house schedule” (Man, L.A. sure is a tough market!)
“View from top of hell” (Graffiti on the wall in the Oval office john. )
“Just needs lifts” (…said Tom Cruise’s agent to his producer.)
“Pool chub” (Caption under a photo of me in my bathing suit at the office BBQ.)
“House on coroner” (How convenient – he’s already there to pronounce himself dead.)
Pull The Plug
“Coop for sale” (Oh, is Foster Farms going out of business?)
“Drop in sot” (I see you’ve met the guys who play poker with Uncle Paddy.)
“Coy fish in big pond” (Where are the gregarious fish – in the kegger pond?)
“Big water fault in back” (That’s called a tsunami, and if I were you, I’d run like hell!)
“Bright, Quite garden condo. like home 3bads and 2 full bath, fire place3 tend-om parking, incloding refrigcrater” (Take the fork out of the socket and then remove your aluminum foil hat, because your hair is on fire…as is your career.)
“Breakfast hook” – More MLS hoots and hang-ups
Well friends, this is my last blooper post of the year, and I still have not run out of material. I don’t know whether to thank these hapless agents or to flog them. At the very least, Perhaps I should commend them for sending us off into 2012 with a lot of laughter. Enjoy these bloopers, and have a Happy New Year everyone!
For Those With Hang-Ups
“Kitch with breakfast hook” (Heehaw – hook ’em, book ’em and cook ’em!)
“Indescribable wildlift” (How are those diet pills workin’ out for ya, sweetie?)
“Bif gym fully equipped” (Who’s more fully equipped – Bif or the gym?)
“Brig bonus by New Year’s day” (Yay – a prison party – at last I’ll find a date!)
“Pets wilcome” (Ahhh, a veternarian’s Field of Dreams.)
From Those Who Should Be Hanged
“Christmas crab bag” (I think there’s an ointment for that.)
“Big troy drive” (Big Troy talk like Neanderthal.)
“Nice entertainment arena” (Proudly offered by Ringling Brothers Realty.)
“Fully rehabilitated upper level” (Let me guess – “Twelve Steps” to get there?)
“Breakfat room” (Lapband, anyone?)
“Come to holiday patty” (This is Hollywood, pal – if you pay Patty, she’ll come to you.)
“Enjoy the egg nod” (That explains how your head slammed into the keyboard.)
Can You Hang Somebody Twice?
“Celebrity hose” (Who did they belong to – J. Edgar Hoover?)
“You’ll like dip in pool” (I will if he’s cute and buys me dinner…)
“Ned addition” (Is Ned the dip floating in the pool?)
“Hug play area” (Ned again?)
“Please ignore big hole in yard” (Should I also ignore the casket with the dead flowers?)
And The 2011 Dufis Award Goes To…
“Buyers will flock like bees to hiney” (Okay, let me first stop laughing long enough to pen a smart-mouth comment. …Oh hell, I can’t….this is killing me…seriously, this has me on the floor, folks. Okay, let’s try again: “Buyers will flock like bees to hiney.” I’m sorry, I just can’t top that one other than to say:
“They must know an ass when they see one!”
“House has spark” – burning up the MLS with typos and other bloopers
The year is starting a march toward its natural ending, friends…and it seems a few real estate careers may be also. This week I found some real head-scratchers in local real estate ads and the MLS. However, I get submissions from all over the U.S., so no one is safe from the eyes of the Blooper Scooper. Check out these blunders:
Do You Smell Smoke?
“House has spark” (Apparently your real estate career isn’t the only thing going up in smoke.)
“Big pep area in kitchen” (Is that the cookie jar where Mommy Dearest stashes her uppers?)
“Dull Viking ovens” (Methinks there’s something in the cookie jar that will perk up those dull Vikings.)
“Large greenhose in back” (Large, naked Jolly Green Giant in yard.)
“Mush added to this house” (Was that the overflow from between your ears?)
I Think I See Flames
“Beautifully remolded guest” (Another cosmetically-altered Barbie hits the Hollywood party circuit.)
“Enjoy a drink poolslide” ( Hell, if the pool is sliding, I’ll need a whole pint of Jack.)
“Each bedroom has own bedrooom” (Hello-o-o, Alice, how are things down there in the rabbit hole?)
“Separate pod to build GH” (That should please my pea-sized buyers.)
“Play room for the kiss” (Something tells me this is the back seat of a ’67 Chevy.)
“Ideal for gusts” (That’s great…if you want to live in a wind sock.)
“Impaccably detailed” (Incredibly challenged)
“Stylish pewder room” (Try burning a match.)
“Stone pillars flake driveway” (Flakey agent got stoned in driveway.)
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