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The REAL Reasons that You and I are in Real Estate



Sure – You all will tout “I *heart* my customers and clients” or “I *heart* negotiating” as reasons to be in real estate, or a more viable answer of “I need to make a living and this career works for me” (the whole “I love looking at houses so I got my license to do it professionally” bit dies after the first 75-home-no-contract-client…)

And there are some of you who just wanted to be in a profession that allowed you to legitimately carry around business cards with your photo on it. (Oh, that is a whole different story…)

But I need to stand up and call BS on all of those reasons to be in real estate.

You and I both know the REAL reasons that we have chosen this field.

Free Stuff.

I mean, yes, the free lunches from other brokers, builders and lenders courting you for your business are a plus. Especially when they keep taking you out after years and years of rejection on your end…

I am talking about the REAL treasures of real estate. The REAL reasons that you and I have chosen to GET and KEEP our licenses.

I am talking about the branded foam houses, the engraved plastic letter openers, the teddy bears with logo-tummies, the off-sized desktop cell phone holders, the countless mouse pads and sticky dashboard mats, the golf balls and blow up beach balls, the hand-shaped massage toys, the Velcro-back branded baseball caps, the ultra-wide-extra-short tee shirts, the wax-flavored chapstick, the tiny tins of mints, the cupboard full of various coffee mugs from every non-coffee-company you could imagine and all the pens you could ever wish for (in addition to the ones you steal from your title company).

And let’s not forget the free cookies and sodas at closing and the random gift baskets full of chocolate and biscotti brought into your office by an insurance or inspection company.

What would our business be without all this free stuff?

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  1. Mariana

    January 5, 2008 at 11:38 am

    At least the foam houses don’t hurt very much when you randomly toss it across a convention hall packed full of other agents … Entertainment (or is it immaturity) at it’s finest.

  2. Charleston real estate blog

    January 5, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    Mariana, I treasure my stagecoach from Wells Fargo 🙂

  3. Mariana

    January 5, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    And I treasure my magnetic paperclip dispenser shaped like a house given to me by that subprime lender “BNC mortgage” – may they rest in peace.

  4. Michael Price

    January 5, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    I treasure the story of the Realtor “Expo” My wife had a partnership with the Houston Chronicle and they asked her to share a booth. A blue haired old lady pulling a red wagon (it’s the truth, she brought a wagon) came to the booth, she leaned over the podium and said “Whatcha givin away?”. I told her “good vibes and free advice”. This is no shit, she reached over the podium and picked up my wife’s pen and put in the bag of CPS (Cheap Promotional Shit) in her wagon. The look on my wife’s face was priceless. There was no logo on the pen, it was just a pen, not even a special pen. My wife looked and me and laughed and then started walking down the aisle after her. Suffice it to say, my wife got her pen back. It made a long hard day of wasted time much more bearable. I couldn’t stop laughing about it.

  5. Mariana

    January 5, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    That is a great idea: Next convention I go to, I am going to just go behind the booths and start collecting jackets and PDA’s. Nice one.

  6. Mariana

    January 5, 2008 at 3:28 pm

    (of course I don’t really mean that.)

  7. Mike

    January 5, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    Grab me an iPhone and couple of laptops while you’re at it. 🙂

  8. Benjamin Bach

    January 5, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    I’m really missing out on good schwag up here – maybe I should move south to the US ?

  9. Mike

    January 5, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Yep. Down here in the bayou city if y’all ask nicely you can have my bic roller ball. Just don’t take it without askin’ or my wife will open up big ‘ol six pack of whoop ass for sure!

  10. Larry Yatkowsky

    January 5, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    Never thought of toss the squeezzie. Good idea.

    If we remember to gather next year, it could make for a different convention style. Would certainly be bloggable.


    25,000 Realtors Attain World Record Tossing Squeezzzie at Convention.

  11. Mariana

    January 5, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    Benjamin – No? Really? Nothing? To bad …
    Larry – GREAT idea!

  12. Mariana

    January 5, 2008 at 7:47 pm

    So… I write this post and Derek comes home with a WAY cool leather boxed coasters and playing cards set from our title company … I guess they forgive us for stealing all their pens.

  13. Jonathan Dalton

    January 5, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    Don’t forget free alcohol at franchise conventions. Had enough rum at C21 two years ago to kill a small horse.

    Which reminds me … from a past post … I truly was offended by the term “alcoholic.” For your information the politically correct term is “Inebriated-American.”

  14. Todd Carpenter

    January 5, 2008 at 11:34 pm

    I knew a mortgage broker who used to cart around a baby-less baby carriage to collect swag. I went to a trade show on Friday and came away with 11 pens, three letter openers, a First Aid book (NICE!), two daytimers, and a video game that I can’t figure out.

  15. monika

    January 6, 2008 at 9:45 am

    We have Broker Opens nearly every day of week and they want you so bad that they feed you…so no buying lunches during the week. Plus our weekend open houses always have munchies galore….A REALTOR will never starve in NH. Hungry?? Just go find yourself an open house.
    Got a family to feed…just bring them along.

  16. Mariana

    January 6, 2008 at 10:04 am

    Jonathan – I am not sure I remember the last time I was gentle with my words because someone would get offended. (LOL!) Remember…. It IS called AA, not IAA.

    Todd – Yes. Some of those tradeshows can have some sweet give-aways – so long as you are an early bird.

    Monika- The fastest way to a Real Estate agents’ heart is through their stomach.

  17. Matthew Rathbun

    January 6, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    This is AWESOME!!! I am a pre-licensing instructor and I just roll my eyes when folks say they are getting into the biz, because someone said they should or “they really like people”…. silly rabbit 🙂

  18. Mariana

    January 6, 2008 at 2:56 pm

    Pre-Licensing instructor? Brave man. Brave man. I am the only one from my class that is still in it full time – if at all. And I am not disillusioned … I am in it for the free calculators and branded picture frames.

  19. Chris Lengquist

    January 6, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    I spend my whole life getting rid of crap. If I receive another eagle statue it’ll go where the rest ended up. In it’s original box in my trash can.

    Now, the beer coozies (sic?) from Chicago Title are cool.

  20. Mariana

    January 6, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    … Mmmm … Beer coozies …

  21. Mariana

    January 6, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    One year I went through both of my offices and put all of my collected “swag” (nice one Todd) and wrapped it up in a nice box and it became my white elephant gift for the year.

    Sad thing is that the one who received it, loved it.

  22. Lani Anglin

    January 6, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    ooooh- free crap! crap crap crap!!!

  23. Mariana

    January 7, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    Lani – the correct term is “CPS” (see above). 😉

  24. Brian Wilson

    January 7, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    Hooray for swag! Reminds me of the episode of The Office where Michael goes to the paper industry conference and loads up on…swag! But then he throws a party in his hotel room and no one shows up.

  25. Mariana

    January 7, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    I must see that show …

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Funny video most real estate professionals can relate to



Have you ever had a buyer that was so enthusiastic about their potential home that they have a list a mile long of requirements? The front door must face east, the windows must be Pella brand, the carpet must be cut pile berber, it must be within two lots of a fire hydrant, needs to have wooden rods in the closet, not metal and of course the exterior paint must be barn red.

You already know what home they need and will love based on their actual needs and you’re going to show them that house, but in the meantime you may end up feeling a bit like the character in this video that is just so funny, we can all relate to (whether about a buyer or otherwise):

Can you relate? Maybe in a former career or if you’re one of our readers that is a designer first and foremost?

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Funniest Realtor parody videos you’ll see all minute, guaranteed!



Who says the phenomenon of funny cat videos and stupid girl falling in a fountain while texting at the mall videos don’t spill over into the real estate world? We’ve highlighted three hilarious real estate videos below that are well worth the ten minutes to watch, even if you’re in the office and have to put headphones on.

Video 1:… the best part is at 2:29… MOVE!

Video 2: I Love You, Man… the best part is the whole clip. If you haven’t seen this horribly inappropriate movie, the lead character is a Realtor. He is awesome.

Video 3: Realtor loves his job. Or something… the best part is at 0:39. Is that the fireplace over there!?

Tell us in comments which video moment caught your eye!

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Business Marketing

A pig and a poke (The MLS “Menu”)



This week I actually got hungry reading the MLS and the LA Times real estate ads. Check out these bloopers so you can see what’s currently on the menu. I must warn you, you may want to hit the sauce and trim the fat:

I’m In the Mood For Food 

“This hame is well stocked.” (Thank you, Porky Pig.) 

“Hear is the glolden egg!” (…Which apparently comes scrambled.) 

“Counter w/ new pop and fresh” ( Fat little dough boy included.)

“This one has alla the gravy” (Said Carmella Soprano as she proudly served her baked ziti.)

“You’ll marble when you see this beauty” (Bummer. At least Lot’s wife got to be a condiment.)

“We hamdle REOs” (That’s one way to bring home the bacon.) 

Ham Fingers…So The Pork Lingers                                            

“Small pad w/ view of peer” (Why go home when you can sleep at the office?) 

“This is not a TIC” (…said Jeff Goldblum’s  hands.) 

“This pad in the Hollywood Hills is phat.” (So is your head, Biggie Smalls.) 

“Cabinets w/ polished mental inserts” (Listing w/ punch drunk mental idiot.)

“This is a Short Shale” (Say that five times really fast.) 

Is It Happy hour Yet? 

“Just done finished floored” (Bottle done, finished agent on floor.) 

“Cork floors in bar aria” (Methinks the cork was popped several drinks ago.) 

“Stunning hammerred doors” (Offered by stumbling hammered dufus.) 

“This condonimiun has all the trimmins” (Sauced agent has the tremorrrrs.) 


“Bask in the warm sin by the pool” (Yay – party at Charlie Sheen’s  pad!)

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