Quarantining, sheltering in place, staying home. We’re tired of hearing it; we’re tired of doing it. Yet, it’s what we still need to be doing to stay safe for a while longer. All of this can be lonesome. As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the alone time is getting to even the most introverted among us.
Solitary confinement is considered one of the most psychologically damaging punishments a human can endure. The New Yorker reported on this in a 1992 study of prisoners in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, as well as Vietnam veterans who experienced isolation. These studies showed that prisoners who had experienced solitary confinement demonstrated similar brain activity to those who’d suffered a severe head injury, noting that “Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.”
We aren’t meant to be solitary creatures. Your “pandemic brain” is real. That fogginess, the lack of productivity, can be attributed to many things, including anxiety, but being kept apart from other humans is a big part of it too. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, and join others virtually. Be it an app, a class, a Facebook group, a chat room, or a livestream, someone somewhere is out there waiting to connect with you too.
The good news? We are lucky enough to live in an era of near limitless ways to interact socially online. Sure, it is different, but it is something. It’s important. The best thing about this type of social interaction is being able to hone in on your specific interests, though I’d caution you against getting caught in an online echo chamber. Diversity of interests, personality, and opinion make for a richer experience, with opportunities for connecting and expanding your worldview.
Here are a few suggestions on ways to socialize while staying home and staying safe. Communicating with other humans is good for you, physically and mentally.
Interactive Livestreams on Twitch:
Twitch is best known as a streaming service for video game fans, but it offers multiple streams appealing to different interests. This is more than passive watching (although that is an option, too) as Twitch livestream channels also have chat rooms. Twitch is fun for people who like multi-tasking because the chat rooms for popular livestream channels can get busy with chatter.
While people watch the Twitch hosts play a video game, film a live podcast, make music or art, mix cocktails, or dance, they can comment on what they’re watching, make suggestions, ask questions, crack jokes, and get to know each other (by Twitch handle, so it is still as anonymous as you want it to be) in the chat room. The best hosts take time every so often to interact directly with the chat room questions and comments.
Many Twitch channels develop loyal followers who get to know each other, thus forming communities. I have participated in the Alamo Drafthouse Master Pancake movie mocks a few times because they are fun and local to Austin, where I live. Plus, in my non-quarantine life, I would go to Master Pancake shows live sometimes. The chat room feels familiar in a nice way. While watching online is free, you can (and totally should) tip them.
Online trivia in real time:
There are some good options for real-time online trivia, but I’m impressed with the NYC Trivia League’s model. They have trivia games online on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. The NYC Trivia League seems to have figured out a good way to run the game live while keeping answers private from the other teams. They run games on Instagram Live with a live video of the host, and participants answer via the question feature. Clever!
Online book club:
First I have to shout out my Austin local independent bookstore, BookPeople, because they are fantastic. They run book clubs throughout the year, along with readings, book signings, and all things book-related. BookPeople hosts several online book clubs during these lockdown days, and most people will find something that appeals to them.
I’m also impressed with this list from Hugo House, a writer’s resource based out of Seattle. This list includes Instagram and Goodread book clubs, book clubs for Black women, rebels, and poetry lovers. The Financial Diet recommends the Reddit book club, if you are comfortable with the Reddit format. Please note that it’s a busy place, but if you like Reddit, you already know this.
Cooking class or virtual tasting:
This is doubly satisfying because you can follow these chefs in real time, and you end up with a meal. There are a couple on Instagram Live, such as The Culinistas or Chef Massimo Bottura.
You can also participate in virtual tastings for wine, whiskey, or chocolate, though you will have to buy the product to participate in the classes (usually held over Zoom or Facebook Live). If you are in Austin, Dallas, or Houston, I recommend BeenThere Locals. The cost of the course includes the wine, spirits, or cooking kit in most cases, and all of the money goes to the business and expert hosting the class.
Look for your favorite wine, spirits, cheese, chocolate makers, and chefs that are local to you to find a similar experience. Most either prepare the class kit for pickup or delivery within a local area.
Quarantine chat:
To interact with another quarantined person seeking social interaction, there’s Quarantine Chat. Quarantine chat is one of the ways to connect through the Dialup app, available on iOS and Android devices. Sign up to make and receive calls when you want to speak with someone. The Dialup app pairs you randomly with another person for a phone conversation, at a scheduled time, either with anyone or with someone with shared interests.
Quarantine chat takes it a step further with calls at random times. When your quarantine chat caller calls, you will not see their number (or they yours), only the “Quarantine Chat” caller ID. If you are unable to pick up when they call, they will be connected with someone else, so there is no pressure to answer. It’s nice to hear someone else’s voice, merely to talk about what you’ve been cooking or what hilarious thing your pet is doing.
Play Uno:
Uno Freak lets people set up games and play Uno online with friends or strangers. Players do not need to register or download anything to play. Uno Freak is web-based.
Talk to mental health professionals:
If your state of loneliness starts sliding toward depression, call someone you can speak to right away to talk over your concerns. When in doubt, call a trained professional! Here are a few resources:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET, 800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to this text line 24/7 for someone to text with who will also be able to refer you to other resources: U.S. and Canada: 74174, U.K. 85258, Ireland: 50808.
- Psych Central has put together this comprehensive list of crisis intervention specialists and ways to contact them immediately.
There are many ways to connect even though we are physically apart. These are just a few real time ways to interact with others online. If you want something a little more flesh and blood, take a walk around the block or even sit in a chair in front of where you live.
Wave at people from afar, and remember that we have lots of brilliant doctors and scientists working on a way out of this. Hang in there, buddy. I’m rooting for you. I’m rooting for all of us.
Holly White
June 22, 2008 at 10:50 am
Hilarious!!! You had me all the way up to the last 2 seconds!
Mariana Wagner
June 22, 2008 at 1:20 pm
sweet … And a great example of why we should never assume we know what is going on…
Lani Anglin-Rosales
June 22, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Holly- no kidding!
@mizzle seriously! I was so irritated and if I were in the store I would have told him to get off the freakin’ phone (and that ringing me up is oh so important)! 😉 Actually, I would have just been huffy, let’s be honest. What a cool video, it’s a little wake up call for me!
Matt Wilkins
June 22, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Great video Lani, definately a huge gotcha at the end.
However, it does make you think of how we sometimes interact when out with clients. For most of us our cell phone is our main phone line of contact. At soime point our phones do ring when we are out with clients (for example showing property). My personal solution is to either not answer the call or, if I know its something important, answer and get right to the point as to not time any more time than needed away from my primary task.
Luckily, most of my client do not mind me answering my phone as they realize that I am never too busy to take care of an issue when it arises. However, I have had heard stories where clients feel very upset when their realtors answers ANY phone calls.
Glenn fm Naples
June 22, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Good video, but the gas station attendant is not performing the customer service for HIS CUSTOMERS.
When we are with clients our full attention should be devoted to them.
I have not seen a situation in real estate that is so urgent that we need to answer our cellphones, of course, there are family emergencies and they are the ones to answer.
If someone has an example, of an URGENT call in real estate, please share it with us.
Bill Lublin
June 22, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Lani – Once again you make me smile – Now that’s service – I notice that the attendant manages to provide everyone with what they need, while balancing all of their needs – The first two customers didn’t need conversation, they needed a service which they got. And the final customer got great service also – in fact way above and beyond!
@Glenn; An urgent call in real estate is one that is time sensitive – I have seen agents lose business because they didn;t respond to the clients needs in what the client deemed a timely fashion. In fact, I had a bank that needed to place a listing place it with another broker because they called while I was away from the hpone, and returned their call 15 minutes later. Don’t know if that’s urgent (for me one piece of business isn’t going to kill me – ) But when I started in the business and needed to feed my family, I would have been very upset at missing the opportunity. However I think the decision to answer or not answer your cell if a personal thing – Me, I answer mine all the time so I’m probably not a good person to ask 😉
Vance Shutes
June 22, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Lani,
This has happened to me more times than I care to remember, at most gas stations these days. From now on, I’ll consider the experience in a different light – thanks to the ending of this cute video. :-).
Jennifer in Louisville
June 23, 2008 at 4:24 am
I liked the clip. Doing things beyond what is normally expected for your customers – is becoming expected.
Michael
June 23, 2008 at 11:34 am
I really like the clip too! I’ve learned that we should not always assume that we understand what is really going on. Thank you so much for this.
Larry Yatkowsky
June 23, 2008 at 10:04 pm
#3
*HUFFY* – I could use some of that. Does it come in a can or can I just rub it on?
Anne
June 24, 2008 at 7:22 am
Oh my, how funny. Sometimes we just need to smile, and try to assume that when someone appears rude or uncaring, that it has nothing to do with us, but is somethiing else entirely.
Michael
June 26, 2008 at 8:33 am
Yes! it is true Anne and I agree with you. Nice Comment.