Quarantining, sheltering in place, staying home. We’re tired of hearing it; we’re tired of doing it. Yet, it’s what we still need to be doing to stay safe for a while longer. All of this can be lonesome. As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the alone time is getting to even the most introverted among us.
Solitary confinement is considered one of the most psychologically damaging punishments a human can endure. The New Yorker reported on this in a 1992 study of prisoners in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, as well as Vietnam veterans who experienced isolation. These studies showed that prisoners who had experienced solitary confinement demonstrated similar brain activity to those who’d suffered a severe head injury, noting that “Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.”
We aren’t meant to be solitary creatures. Your “pandemic brain” is real. That fogginess, the lack of productivity, can be attributed to many things, including anxiety, but being kept apart from other humans is a big part of it too. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, and join others virtually. Be it an app, a class, a Facebook group, a chat room, or a livestream, someone somewhere is out there waiting to connect with you too.
The good news? We are lucky enough to live in an era of near limitless ways to interact socially online. Sure, it is different, but it is something. It’s important. The best thing about this type of social interaction is being able to hone in on your specific interests, though I’d caution you against getting caught in an online echo chamber. Diversity of interests, personality, and opinion make for a richer experience, with opportunities for connecting and expanding your worldview.
Here are a few suggestions on ways to socialize while staying home and staying safe. Communicating with other humans is good for you, physically and mentally.
Interactive Livestreams on Twitch:
Twitch is best known as a streaming service for video game fans, but it offers multiple streams appealing to different interests. This is more than passive watching (although that is an option, too) as Twitch livestream channels also have chat rooms. Twitch is fun for people who like multi-tasking because the chat rooms for popular livestream channels can get busy with chatter.
While people watch the Twitch hosts play a video game, film a live podcast, make music or art, mix cocktails, or dance, they can comment on what they’re watching, make suggestions, ask questions, crack jokes, and get to know each other (by Twitch handle, so it is still as anonymous as you want it to be) in the chat room. The best hosts take time every so often to interact directly with the chat room questions and comments.
Many Twitch channels develop loyal followers who get to know each other, thus forming communities. I have participated in the Alamo Drafthouse Master Pancake movie mocks a few times because they are fun and local to Austin, where I live. Plus, in my non-quarantine life, I would go to Master Pancake shows live sometimes. The chat room feels familiar in a nice way. While watching online is free, you can (and totally should) tip them.
Online trivia in real time:
There are some good options for real-time online trivia, but I’m impressed with the NYC Trivia League’s model. They have trivia games online on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. The NYC Trivia League seems to have figured out a good way to run the game live while keeping answers private from the other teams. They run games on Instagram Live with a live video of the host, and participants answer via the question feature. Clever!
Online book club:
First I have to shout out my Austin local independent bookstore, BookPeople, because they are fantastic. They run book clubs throughout the year, along with readings, book signings, and all things book-related. BookPeople hosts several online book clubs during these lockdown days, and most people will find something that appeals to them.
I’m also impressed with this list from Hugo House, a writer’s resource based out of Seattle. This list includes Instagram and Goodread book clubs, book clubs for Black women, rebels, and poetry lovers. The Financial Diet recommends the Reddit book club, if you are comfortable with the Reddit format. Please note that it’s a busy place, but if you like Reddit, you already know this.
Cooking class or virtual tasting:
This is doubly satisfying because you can follow these chefs in real time, and you end up with a meal. There are a couple on Instagram Live, such as The Culinistas or Chef Massimo Bottura.
You can also participate in virtual tastings for wine, whiskey, or chocolate, though you will have to buy the product to participate in the classes (usually held over Zoom or Facebook Live). If you are in Austin, Dallas, or Houston, I recommend BeenThere Locals. The cost of the course includes the wine, spirits, or cooking kit in most cases, and all of the money goes to the business and expert hosting the class.
Look for your favorite wine, spirits, cheese, chocolate makers, and chefs that are local to you to find a similar experience. Most either prepare the class kit for pickup or delivery within a local area.
Quarantine chat:
To interact with another quarantined person seeking social interaction, there’s Quarantine Chat. Quarantine chat is one of the ways to connect through the Dialup app, available on iOS and Android devices. Sign up to make and receive calls when you want to speak with someone. The Dialup app pairs you randomly with another person for a phone conversation, at a scheduled time, either with anyone or with someone with shared interests.
Quarantine chat takes it a step further with calls at random times. When your quarantine chat caller calls, you will not see their number (or they yours), only the “Quarantine Chat” caller ID. If you are unable to pick up when they call, they will be connected with someone else, so there is no pressure to answer. It’s nice to hear someone else’s voice, merely to talk about what you’ve been cooking or what hilarious thing your pet is doing.
Play Uno:
Uno Freak lets people set up games and play Uno online with friends or strangers. Players do not need to register or download anything to play. Uno Freak is web-based.
Talk to mental health professionals:
If your state of loneliness starts sliding toward depression, call someone you can speak to right away to talk over your concerns. When in doubt, call a trained professional! Here are a few resources:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET, 800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to this text line 24/7 for someone to text with who will also be able to refer you to other resources: U.S. and Canada: 74174, U.K. 85258, Ireland: 50808.
- Psych Central has put together this comprehensive list of crisis intervention specialists and ways to contact them immediately.
There are many ways to connect even though we are physically apart. These are just a few real time ways to interact with others online. If you want something a little more flesh and blood, take a walk around the block or even sit in a chair in front of where you live.
Wave at people from afar, and remember that we have lots of brilliant doctors and scientists working on a way out of this. Hang in there, buddy. I’m rooting for you. I’m rooting for all of us.
Daniel Rothamel
February 17, 2008 at 3:31 pm
I like this line of thought. But since we all know that real estate is local, I thought I might add a perspective from another part of the country. . .
I’ll agree with the second half of number 5, for sure. Sellers are beginning to realize that. I also think that a seller’s willingness to listen is directly related to their acceptance of the reality of market conditions. The delusional still remain that way, as do the greedy.
4 is definitely true in my area. Builders are acting far differently than they did a few years ago. That is very good for buyers.
3 is, sadly, untrue in my experience so far. I think this is something that will come with time. Right now, there are still a lot of desperate people doing desperate things, some of which are not nice. But in my area, the slowdown has been more gradual and protracted, so time will force people to accept reality and act accordingly.
2 again true, and very much needed.
1 falls under 3 for me once again. In our area, we haven’t seen a lot of people leaving the business. More so mortgage brokers than agents. We’ve always had a lot of people in our area that only did a handful of transactions per year for the last 10 years, so that might not change any time soon, unless people just get plain discouraged. Although, I am hearing A LOT more stories of agents taking second jobs and the like.
Lani Anglin-Rosales
February 17, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Mariana, I’m so glad that the sun is coming out in Colorado!!! Like Rothamel said, real estate is local, so our story is totally different here, BUT DANG I’m so glad to hear something on a blog that doesn’t sound like a Peanuts teacher. 🙂
Thanks for the pick me up, MDub (that’s Mariana Dub (short for “w”) for those who don’t know)!
Mariana
February 17, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Daniel and Lani – What I see, here in my localness, I believe will travel to your localness in due time … Although we have not seen a big drop in prices (more of just an appreciation slow-down, actually), there are a lot of agents who are looking at RE on a national level and mistakenly applying it locally, crying and leaving … Thus the agent shake up, here. Yay for me, then.
Daniel – I am noticing that the same agents are showing my listings and I am showing more of the same agents’ listings as well. The fish pond is emptier, leaving me room to move and grow… I wish the same/best for you as well!
Lani – I love the MDub… especially coming from a Texan. But I must say that when I first read it, I thought about the car-version (…rollin’ on dubs). You, like Daniel, are totally right. RE IS local, but the national media has infiltrated the brains of so many people that actions are preceeding the real market in some areas… Sad for homeowners in one way (desperation) but good in other ways (more competent agents, eventually).
Dennis Pease
March 30, 2008 at 4:27 am
These are all valid points. I like #1 the best although in my area we have not lost as many in some areas, it is just a matter of time with so many agents doing very little business.
I like your picture and I have one you may enjoy as well. Trailer Trash Hi-Rise.
Gordon Baker
June 26, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Mariana,
We’ve all seen it coming, the weeding out of the agents who were not totally committed and effective. I also believe that technology in itself is setting the bar higher. Besides having a good and functional website, blogging / Web 2.0 keeps us all in a constant learning state of mind – not a bad thing.
Steve Simon
October 27, 2008 at 4:08 pm
From the peak, Florida will have about half of it’s license field force by the end of this license cycle.
Gaggles of newbies not completing the post-license educational requirements, and others just failing to do the 14 hour continuing education.. Couple that with natural atrition and a lack of interest (currently) in taking the courses and you can easily see why.
I think this will bode well for those that have the courage to stick it out if they are in it, and start up if they are not already in…
I have written on my blog about the possible need for a 2nd job for a while for some:
https://www.stevesimon.us/blog/?p=257
That may be the way to tough it out or to start up?
Just my thoughts:)