Well friends, I took a week off, but the MLS waits for no one. If your listings aren’t moving, perhaps you should see if any of your descriptive remarks are in this Week’s Hall of Lame.
Thanks again to Patrick Martin of Sotheby’s International Realty for being such a great watchdog this week. Please enjoy these examples of our local (or is it “loco”?) color:
Dubious Features and Weird Creatures
“Your buyers will lick the tenants.” (Shouldn’t they at least buy ’em dinner first? )
“New stove and microweave” (Proudly offered by Hair Club for Men)
“Down soupe with lovely fowledge” (A bird in hand is worth two in a borscht)
“Plastered walls with pithed ceilings” (I’d be pithed, too.)
“For more dretails, call me to get massage.” (Rub a dub dub, agent frequents the pub…)
TMI
“Drawing for 3 days at Crabo” (Interesting…my ex must have opened a resort.)
“Bust buy in the area” (Thank you for keeping me abreast.)
“Outdoor pit for big friares” (Small friars will be roasted on the indoor rotisserie…)
“Library has exposed beans, books” (For naked vegetables who like to read…)
“Kitchen with drinks bar and custom pot.” (A toke and a Coke)
“Include Short Sale Addendumb” (And an idiot savant clause…)
Perks from Jerks
“Professionally designed screeming room” (Also known as a waxing room…)
“Toilet leaks – be sure clients don’t slirp” (Unless your buyers are on a leash…)
“Cozy worm bungalow – cheap price.” (Is this a Bait and Switch”?)
“Game room with recess sports…” (I thinks that’s called a “school playground,” pal.)
“Kids walk lots of skoals” (Yeah…but can they walk afterward?)
And You Can’t Beat This!
“Security with motion detector spit lights” (Slime Security’s Saliva Special – “Our job is to gob.”)
