We have seen a lot of examples of how our MLS is full of misspelled words and oddly chosen adjectives. Now it’s time to move on to misplaced phrases – phrases that may leave you gasping or guffawing:
A Home You Can’t Refuse
“All wall damage repaired, butt cracks on surface.” (Bummer.)
“Light filled home with strategically located mirrors.” (Decorated by Hugh Hefner, no doubt.)
“Bathroom has His and His sinks.” (And matching urinals, I suppose…)
“Sit and enjoy the kitchen fire while Mom cooks.” (Mom attended the Gwen Banta School of Flash Cooking.)
“Bathroom has new sunken tub and toilet.” (A new angle for the dangle.)
“Yard with kennel and sandbox for the kiddies.” (When a babysitter just won’t do…)
“New addition with bedroom with French doors and pig roaster.” (For those who have an avid interest in porking. )
“Kitchen with Spanish influences and un-permitted large maids quartered.” (Influenced by the Spanish Inquisition it seems.)
“Lovely home with new baths with EZ freeway Access.” (Pee and Flee.)
I Love Paris in the Spring time
“Cute home near elementary school with outdoor spa and Tiki bar.” (Welcome to Paris Hilton Elementary School.)
“Relax in the swirling spa and toilets.” (When a bidet just won’t do…)
“New irrigation system and water slide installed.” (A clever way to divert the squirt.)
“Beautiful home with secluded privates and gated.” (I believe that’s called a chastity belt.)
“Large yard a Pool with a waterfall and a new septic system.” (Beware the Baby Ruth floating in the deep end…)
“Foyer with faux walls.” (Agent who drinks and has visions.)
“House on lake has flowing rooms.” (Row, Row, Row Your boat…)
“Gourmet kitchen with breakfast bar, Vikings and Caesar. (When one conqueror just won’t do…)
And My Fave:
“Bathrooms have new vanities and toilets. Seller has already gone – very motivated.” (Apparently he moved…and then he moved.)
