People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Matt Stigliano
March 15, 2010 at 9:22 am
Ken – Someone once told me one of the “big guns” in town did this and I thought to myself, “Wait, that just makes good sense.” Although I haven’t been as focused as you suggest about it (I just learned some excellent points – thanks), I have adopted this as part of my practice. Buy my listing and you’re sure to hear from me.
Ken Brand
March 15, 2010 at 9:32 am
Amen Matt, it’s a simple add and will create new opportunities. Cheers.
Ralph Bell
March 15, 2010 at 9:27 am
Brilliant! Will definitely make this part of my marketing plan from here on out. Like anything else in RE the worst they can say is No. Well some have said no in a worse way…but you get the point.
Ken Brand
March 15, 2010 at 9:33 am
Thanks Ralph, everyone wants to be loved. It the selling agent won’t, we should. Cheers.
Michael Price
March 15, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Can you steal a relationship? Nope. Just like the seller is the only one that really owns any listing information, a buyer is the holder of the relationship. They will relinquish it to whomever they chose, typically it will be with the one that treats it with the most respect.
Ken Brand
March 15, 2010 at 9:24 pm
“You can’t steal a relationship”, exactly Mike. Cheers. I’m calling to set up a burger conference.
Erica Ramus
March 15, 2010 at 6:45 pm
I’ve done it, especially with buyers who have out of town agents who don’t know our area. I am listing a house now where the seller moved in 2 years ago. Her agent is 2 hours away and since the sale I have indeed cultivated the relationship.
Ken Brand
March 15, 2010 at 9:25 pm
Good work! That’s exactly the sorta thing I’m talking about. Cheers.
Missy Caulk
March 15, 2010 at 10:30 pm
I have heard of this Ken, but never done it.
Every January I send out all the HUD reports and a thank you letter to my clients, someone else suggested I do this for the other folks on the other side of the transaction.
What do you think?
Ken Brand
March 15, 2010 at 10:51 pm
I think that’s smart and helpful Missy. I also think that a more fruitful relationship can be nurtured by consistent contact. And there’s nothing more memorable that a personal visit. The keys to Top Of Mind Awareness is Relevance, Remarkability and Repetition.
🙂
Nashville Grant
March 16, 2010 at 3:58 pm
Sheer genius. It’s not stealing if no one else is in the picture. I call it my charitably adopt a buyer program.
Ken Brand
March 16, 2010 at 7:27 pm
I don’t know about genius, but I’m with you, it’s pretty dead-bang simple and obvious to me too. Thanks for your comments NG. Cheers.
Elizabeth Cooper-Golden
March 17, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Ken, I think this is brilliant. I have really been keeping a close eye on tracking listings of one agent in particular. What I have found is that she was the original listing agent. Years later, her name is appearing again as the sellers list with her, NOT their buyers agent. It struck me then that she must have this idea in play. Genius if you ask me, and so simple to do! I am starting this practice tomorrow and will play catch up with past buyers 🙂 Great info you just shared!
Ken Brand
March 17, 2010 at 8:11 pm
Thanks Elizabeth. Turns out, it’s the little things that others don’t do, do them consistently, over time, they add up to a BIG difference. Sounds to me like you’re ON IT. Cheers.
Shea Bunch
March 18, 2010 at 4:42 pm
I’ve heard these called orphaned clients. We all know that you have to find clients anywhere you can and frankly if the selling agent doesn’t care to follow up on past clients ( and probably 75% or more don’t ) there is nothing wrong with the listing agent doing so as long as the former client doesn’t object. As far as the agent goes, once the closing takes place, they are no longer clients.
Ken Brand
March 18, 2010 at 4:58 pm
I’m with you Shea. Adopt the orphans, everyone deserves love and attention. Thanks for chiming in. Cheers.
Ashley Drake Gephart
March 18, 2010 at 7:22 pm
I leave a listing book with all the info I had in it for the house while it was for sale. But I add in all the warranty stuff and manuals that the homeowners had. I then add my card. That is step one in my adopt a buyer program.
Ken Brand
March 18, 2010 at 8:45 pm
Ashley, that’s brilliant. Thanks for sharing gem. I’ll be sharing that with the team at our next team meeting. Go, go, go:-)