Well, folks, I spent another week scanning the MLS and local ads while laughing my a__ off. This week’s bloopers include some very suspect offers. In fact, a few are downright threatening. As so aptly stated by Bette Davis in All About Eve, “Fasten your seat belts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”
Offers Guaranteed to Slay You
“Best thing sinced sliced beard” (Offered by Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street)
“Killea location – hurry!” (Yeah, right. Shall I bring my own body bag, Dexter?)
“Stunning Sunset Plaza Manson” (Uh, “manson”? Let me guess – another “killea location”?)
“Clot in drain fixed” (Reported Tony “Two Fingers” Tartaglia after flushing Carlo “The Canary” down the toilet.
“Experienced Shoot Sale Agent” ( Tony Tartaglia’s Toady.)
“Custom splice rack” (Favorite amenity of Tony “Two Fingers” Tartaglia when the commode backs up.)
Now For A Trip Down Hollywood Highway
“Hollywd Hills– Pool, dec & spurts court” – (Apparently the court is a wee one…)
“Really hot décor with many appointiments” (Pamela Anderson’s house, no doubt)
“Great lift, mountain vus” (A home for Pamela’s ‘appointiments.’)
“Malibu – Nice bones, just waiting for a face lict” (Malibu’s premier Dog Dating Service.)
“Nice Laurel Canyon writers corrage” (I doubt it – everyone here in Laurel Canyon is incorragible.)
“Prime Bev Hills Real Eatse” (Dinner at Spago, anyone?)
The View from Here
“Step into a bygone error” (It seems you’ve already stepped in it, pal.)
“The veews will blow youre mind” (Mojito days, martini nights…)
“Can’t be dupecated” (No, but I know who can be duped…)
“New caisson windows” (Well, that oughtta float your boat!)
There’s a Place For Everyone…
“Good for shingle family – Needs TLC” (‘Nuf said.)
