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Back by “Poopular” Demand- More Agent Bloopers

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It’s Un-Real Estate, folks…

and just when you thought you heard ‘em all…

How About These Marketing Strategies!

  • Kids Play Rum (And agent apparently drinks it.)
  • Main house and carnage house. ( Bugsy Siegel must have lived there.)
  • Home Made Hiney rolls served (Do I get Wipes with that?)
  • Two minutes to Strip (Can you buy me dinner first?)
  • Club foot tub (Getting those special shoes on the tub must have been a killer.)
  • Sheik contemporary (A modern house in Dubai?)
  • New pole in back yard for outdoor fun (Must be the Bunny Ranch.)
  • Bring your fuzziest clients (Including your hairy mother.)
  • Special tanks to those who donate. (Wouldn’t an AK-47 suffice?)
  • Beautiful Sanitarium for Sunny mornings. (Electro-shock anyone?)
  • Major stone coming to the neighborhood. (Ouch, that will be hard to pass.)
  • Newer constriction. (Try a colonic.)
  • Own a piece of heathen. (Ah…the Bunny Ranch again…)
  • House rises above the street. (The David Copperfield Estate.)
  • New cemen driveway ( I’ll bet it’s near the Bunny Ranch)

More Kinky and Quirky:

  • Private Studo above garage. (How convenient – give him my number!)
  • Large dick for entertaining (Hmmm, does this belong to Studo?)
  • Dog runs on one side (Maybe he only has 2 legs)
  • Built in stereo and TB (Is this the house with the sanitarium?)
  • Bogus room downstairs (Can I submit a bogus offer?)
  • Room for bunker beds (Archie and Edith lived here.)
  • Seasonal creep runs alongside the road (Is his name, Studo?)
  • Stoned patio. (Someone Bogarted that joint.)
  • Statutes in garden (Was this a law library?)
  • Owen doesn’t work. (Kick his butt to the curb… Then call Studo.)
  • EZ access for mountn sports (An elevator to Studo’s pad above the garage?)

Rede Twice, Use Spell Czech, and Lern Englesh

  • “Dance andf art studio” (For classically trained farters)
  • Disclosure: Pet ceminary nearby. (For pets going into the ministry.)
  • New lightening in pool area (That’s a killer deal!)
  • Submit with FUCO scores. (Because this is a FUCO house?)
  • Proof of funs needed (Isn’t the pole out back proof enough?)
  • Low interest rats (Vermin that are bored easily)
  • Seller is a crapenter (He obviously does sh—y work!)
  • Rod in bedroom goes with seller, so please don’t ask. (Don’t flatter yourself, Studo!)
  • Diamond in the Ruff (Well, pump the poor dog’s stomach!)
  • Bar-B-Q Pet in Back Yard (Apparently Ruff didn’t survive.)
  • Looking for Hot Buyers (Ugly folks need not apply.)
  • Big yard with “squirls and Rabies.” (Sellers frothing at the mouth to make a deal?)
  • Comes with dick and dingy (Sean Penn and Jessica Simpson?)
  • Drawing for Special Prixe (You ain’t that special, Studo.)

And This Week’s Favorite:

  • Hind End Recessed Lights (Designed for the place “where the sun don’t shine”)
  • Thanks again to the MLS, the LA Times, the New York Times, and LA Magazine for your unwitting contributions.

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    14 Comments

    14 Comments

    1. Ken Montville - The MD Suburbs of DC

      May 15, 2009 at 9:18 am

      Tell the truth. Is this stuff real or do you make it up?

    2. Paula Henry

      May 15, 2009 at 9:22 am

      Oh no – this has to be real! Gwen just has the uncanny ability to see the humor in it all and bring it together. I just love these and after this week, it was a welcome and needed time to sit and laugh out loud.

      Thanks again, Gwen, for sharing your wonderful sense of humor:)

    3. Matt Stigliano

      May 15, 2009 at 9:30 am

      Gwen – Another awesome post from you. I fear one day I might show up in your posts. It is my biggest fear in life (surpassing maggots I have to tell you – and I’m really freaking out by them).

    4. Gwen Banta

      May 15, 2009 at 1:21 pm

      Hi Ken – Thanks for thinking I’m smart enough to make this stuff up. I’m not…but I certainly am that bent!

    5. Gwen Banta

      May 15, 2009 at 1:26 pm

      Thanks so much, Paula. I collect these stories, but I obviously can’t confirm every story an agent tells me. Some of them are so vivid they remain in my head like a story catalogue, whereas others I jot down everywhere. Recently my assistant asked me if I was having problems with my oven. She was reading a note on the back of a listing sheet that referenced the “Owen doesn’t work” comment. Since I began this blog, the stories keep flooding in. Now, of course, I am constantly looking. Let me know if you see anything and I’ll add it to the “Poopular List.” have a great weekend.

    6. Gwen Banta

      May 15, 2009 at 1:30 pm

      Actually, Matt, you were the entire inspiration for the pancake post. I have shown up in my own posts, but I try not to admit which blunders are mine. Knowing your great sense of humor, I’m sure you’ll have more tales for me to record. I’m right with you there on that maggot thing, however. Actually, I did hear a story that involved maggots, and it was perversely funny, but I was too freaked out to write it. I can’t do the rat-thing either. My next blog involves animal chaos at open houses, but I had to leave out the aforementioned offenders. I have a hard enough time sleeping as it is! Thanks so much for your ongoing support. I hope you have a wonderful, larva-free weekend.

    7. Paula Henry

      May 15, 2009 at 2:40 pm

      Need a break, need a good laugh – check out Gwen Banta’s Agent Bloopers – https://bit.ly/I5lrk

    8. Matt Stigliano

      May 15, 2009 at 2:41 pm

      RT @IndyAgent Need a break, need a good laugh – check out Gwen Banta’s Agent Bloopers – https://bit.ly/I5lrk [Then go read all of her posts]

    9. Austin Smith - Goomzee.com

      May 15, 2009 at 3:10 pm

      Ha ha, ‘larva-free weekend’…

      Nice work Gwen. Whenever I see your posts, I get an email ready to pass the URL around the office. keep ’em comin’.

    10. Charles Galati

      May 15, 2009 at 4:34 pm

      Agent Bloopers – Un-Real Estate | Real Estate Blog Magazine – Real … https://bit.ly/gpxlh

    11. AGKHAN

      May 15, 2009 at 8:21 pm

      20 Agent Bloopers – Un-Real Estate | Real Estate Blog Magazine – Real …: 3 Responses to BACK BY “POOPULAR” D.. https://tinyurl.com/p2zvfl

    12. Missy Caulk

      May 16, 2009 at 10:08 am

      Gwen, did you know laughter is good for the body ? Releases endorphins…I always get mine released when I read your posts.

      Your take on this is just as funny.

    13. Gwen Banta

      May 19, 2009 at 2:46 am

      You are the smart one, Missy – your posts are great. I’m just the smartass. But every classroom needs a jester, so thanks for the support!

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    Business Marketing

    10 must-listen-to podcasts for business owners

    (MARKETING) If you’re a business owner and want to learn something…anything…give one (or all) these podcasts a listen.

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    As podcasts grow more and more popular, it has become increasingly difficult to sort through the sea of excellent options out there.

    From interviews with business leaders to industry-specific advice from experts, podcasts are an incredible free and convenient way to get a small dose of inspiration and knowledge.

    This short list offers just a taste of the myriad of business podcasts available. Whether you’re an aspiring entrepreneur looking for some tips on breaking into a new industry or a seasoned vet hoping to get some new inspiration, we hope you’ll find something here worth listening to.

    How I Built This, hosted by Guy Raz.

    Podcast fans will recognize Guy Raz’s name (and voice) from TED Radio Hour. While that show can be a great source of inspiration for businesses, one of the most consistently inspiring shows is his new project that shares stories and insight from some of the biggest business leaders in the world. In just four months, Guy has talked to everyone from Richard Branson and Mark Cuban to L.A. Reid and Suroosh Alvi. While there are plenty of excellent interview-driven shows with entrepreneurs, if you want to hear about the world’s best known companies, this is your best bet.

    The Art of Charm, hosted by Jordan and AJ Harbinger.

    The Art of Charm is a business podcast by definition, but the advice it provides will definitely help you in other parts of your day-to-day life as well. With over three million listens a month, the incredibly popular show provides advice, strategies and insight into how to network effectively and advance your career and personal life.

    StartUp, hosted by Alex Blumberg and Lisa Chow.

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    The Whole Whale Podcast, hosted by George Weiner.

    One of the best things about podcasts is the wide variety of niche shows available that go in-depth into fascinating topics. One of those shows is the Whole Whale Podcast, which shares stories about data and technology in the non-profit sector. You’ll get detailed analysis, expert knowledge and can hear from a long list of social impact leaders from Greenpeace, Change.org, Kiva, Teach For America, and more.

    Social Pros Podcast, hosted by Jay Baer and Adam Brown.

    Navigating the surplus of social media guides online can be a nightmare, so look no further than Social Pros. Recent episodes talk about reaching college students on social media, the rise of messaging apps, and making better video content for Facebook. Plus, there are great case-studies with companies doing social right, like Kellogg’s, Coca Cola and Lenscrafters.

    Entrepreneur on Fire, hosted by John Lee Dumas.

    One of the original entrepreneurship shows, Entrepreneur on Fire has logged over 1,500 episodes with successful business leaders sharing tips, lessons and advice learned from their worst entrepreneurial moments. Sometimes humorous, sometimes heartbreaking, always inspiring, this show is sure to have at least one interview with someone you can learn from.

    The $100 MBA, hosted by Omar Zenhom.

    Think of The $100 MBA as a full-fledged business program in snack-sized portions. The daily ten minute business lessons are based on real-world applications and cover everything from marketing to technology and more. Cue this show up on your commute to or from work and watch your knowledge grow.

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    The Side Hustle Show, hosted by Nick Loper.

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    Back To Work, hosted by Merlin Mann and Dan Benjamin.
    Focused on the basics that you don’t think about, Back To Work looks deep into our working lives by analyzing things like workflow, email habits and personal motivation. Somewhere between self-help, and business advice, Back To Work takes on a new topic relating to productivity each week.

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    Why your coworkers are not your ‘family’ [unpopular opinion]

    (MARKETING) “I just want you to think of us as family,” they say. If this were true, I could fire my uncle for always bringing up “that” topic on Thanksgiving…

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    The well-known season 10 opener of “Undercover Boss” featured Walk-On’s Bistreaux & Bar. Brandon Landry, owner, went to the Lafayette location where he worked undercover with Jessica Comeaux, an assistant manager. Comeaux came across as a dedicated employee of the company, and she was given a well-deserved reward for her work. But I rolled my eyes as the show described the team as a “family.” I take offense at combining business and family, unless you’re really family. Why shouldn’t this work dynamic be used?

    Employers don’t have loyalty to employees.

    One of the biggest reasons work isn’t family is that loyalty doesn’t go both ways. Employers who act as though employees are family wouldn’t hesitate to fire someone if it came down to it. In most families, you support each other during tough times, but that wouldn’t be the case in a business. If you’ve ever thought that you can’t ask for a raise or vacation, you’ve probably bought into the theory that “work is a family.” No, work is a contract.

    Would the roles be okay if the genders were reversed?

    At Walks-Ons, Comeaux is referred to as “Mama Jess,” by “some of the girls.” I have to wonder how that would come across if Comeaux were a man being called “Daddy Jess” by younger team members? See any problem with that? What happens when the boss is a 30-year-old and the employee is senior? Using family terminology to describe work relationships is just wrong.

    Families’ roles are complex.

    You’ll spend over 2,000 hours with your co-workers every year. It’s human nature to want to belong. But when you think of your job like a family, you may bring dysfunction into the workplace.

    What if you never had a mom, or if your dad was abusive? Professional relationships don’t need the added complexity of “family” norms. Seeing your boss as “mom” or “dad” completely skews the roles of boss/employee. When your mom asks you to do more, it’s hard to say no. If your “work mom or dad” wants you to stay late, it’s going to be hard to set boundaries when you buy into the bogus theory that work is family. Stop thinking of work this way.

    Check your business culture to make sure that your team has healthy boundaries and teamwork. Having a great work culture doesn’t have to mean you think of your team as family. It means that you appreciate your team, let them have good work-life balance and understand professionalism.

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    Market your side hustle with these 6 tips

    (BUSINESS MARKETING) It can be hard to stand out from the crowd when you’re starting a new side hustle. Here are some easy ways to make your marketing efforts more effective.

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    side hustle paperwork and technology

    Side hustles have become the name of the game, and especially during these turbulent times, we have to get extra creative when it comes to making money. With so many of us making moves and so much noise, it can be hard to get the word out and stand out when sharing your side hustle.

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      If you’re going to make a splash, you have to be willing to ask for favors. Reach out to your network and ask them to help spread the word on your new venture. This can be as simple as asking your friends to share a Facebook post with information that refers them to your page or website. Word of mouth is still important and incredibly effective.
    2. Start Where You Are
      Immediately running an expensive ad right out of the gate may not be the most effective use of your (likely) limited funds. Use the resources you do have to your advantage – especially if you’re just testing things out to see how the side hustle goes in the real world. You can do this by creating a simple, informational landing page for a small fee. Or, if you’re not looking to put any money into it right away, create an enticing email signature that explains what you do in a concise and eye-catching way. Check out these tools to create a kickin’ email signature.
    3. Gather Positive Reviews
      If you’ve performed a service or sold a product, ask your customers to write a review on the experience. Never underestimate how many potential customers read reviews before choosing where to spend their money, so this is an incredibly important asset. Once a service is completed or a product is sold, send a thank you note to your customer and kindly ask them to write a review. Be sure to provide them with links to easily drop a line on Yelp or your company’s Facebook page.
    4. Be Strategic With Social
      It’s common to think that you have to have a presence on all channels right away. Start smaller. Think about your demographic and do some research on which platforms reach that demographic most effectively. From there, put your time and energy into building a presence on one or two channels. Post consistently and engage with followers. After you’ve developed a solid following, you can then expand to other platforms.
    5. Give Paid Marketing A Shot
      Once you’ve made a dollar or two, try experimenting with some Facebook or Twitter ads. They’re relatively cheap to run and can attract people you may not have otherwise had a chance to reach out to. Again, the key is to start small and don’t get discouraged if these don’t have people knocking your door down; it may take trial and error to create the perfect ad for your hustle.
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      Local newspapers and magazines are always looking for news on what local residents are doing. Send an email to your town/city’s journal or local Patch affiliate. Let them know what you’re up to, offer yourself for an interview, and give enticing information. The key is doing this in a way that your hustle is seen as beneficial to the public, and is not just an ad.

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