People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Ken Montville - The MD Suburbs of DC
May 15, 2009 at 9:18 am
Tell the truth. Is this stuff real or do you make it up?
Paula Henry
May 15, 2009 at 9:22 am
Oh no – this has to be real! Gwen just has the uncanny ability to see the humor in it all and bring it together. I just love these and after this week, it was a welcome and needed time to sit and laugh out loud.
Thanks again, Gwen, for sharing your wonderful sense of humor:)
Matt Stigliano
May 15, 2009 at 9:30 am
Gwen – Another awesome post from you. I fear one day I might show up in your posts. It is my biggest fear in life (surpassing maggots I have to tell you – and I’m really freaking out by them).
Gwen Banta
May 15, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Hi Ken – Thanks for thinking I’m smart enough to make this stuff up. I’m not…but I certainly am that bent!
Gwen Banta
May 15, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Thanks so much, Paula. I collect these stories, but I obviously can’t confirm every story an agent tells me. Some of them are so vivid they remain in my head like a story catalogue, whereas others I jot down everywhere. Recently my assistant asked me if I was having problems with my oven. She was reading a note on the back of a listing sheet that referenced the “Owen doesn’t work” comment. Since I began this blog, the stories keep flooding in. Now, of course, I am constantly looking. Let me know if you see anything and I’ll add it to the “Poopular List.” have a great weekend.
Gwen Banta
May 15, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Actually, Matt, you were the entire inspiration for the pancake post. I have shown up in my own posts, but I try not to admit which blunders are mine. Knowing your great sense of humor, I’m sure you’ll have more tales for me to record. I’m right with you there on that maggot thing, however. Actually, I did hear a story that involved maggots, and it was perversely funny, but I was too freaked out to write it. I can’t do the rat-thing either. My next blog involves animal chaos at open houses, but I had to leave out the aforementioned offenders. I have a hard enough time sleeping as it is! Thanks so much for your ongoing support. I hope you have a wonderful, larva-free weekend.
Paula Henry
May 15, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Need a break, need a good laugh – check out Gwen Banta’s Agent Bloopers – https://bit.ly/I5lrk
Matt Stigliano
May 15, 2009 at 2:41 pm
RT @IndyAgent Need a break, need a good laugh – check out Gwen Banta’s Agent Bloopers – https://bit.ly/I5lrk [Then go read all of her posts]
Austin Smith - Goomzee.com
May 15, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Ha ha, ‘larva-free weekend’…
Nice work Gwen. Whenever I see your posts, I get an email ready to pass the URL around the office. keep ’em comin’.
Charles Galati
May 15, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Agent Bloopers – Un-Real Estate | Real Estate Blog Magazine – Real … https://bit.ly/gpxlh
AGKHAN
May 15, 2009 at 8:21 pm
20 Agent Bloopers – Un-Real Estate | Real Estate Blog Magazine – Real …: 3 Responses to BACK BY “POOPULAR” D.. https://tinyurl.com/p2zvfl
Missy Caulk
May 16, 2009 at 10:08 am
Gwen, did you know laughter is good for the body ? Releases endorphins…I always get mine released when I read your posts.
Your take on this is just as funny.
Gwen Banta
May 19, 2009 at 2:46 am
You are the smart one, Missy – your posts are great. I’m just the smartass. But every classroom needs a jester, so thanks for the support!