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Death of good homes – a memorial to the MLS

Death by MLS seems to be a common occurrence these days. Are you guilty of burying your own listings? These agents are:

In Memoriam of Good Spelling

“There’s a death of good homes” (…and an apparent re-birth of brain-dead agents.)

“Seller willing to navigate” (Is this a house or a boat?)

“Pool ideal for the kitties” (Wouldn’t a shelter would be more humane?)

“Newly tainted ex” (Yep – that’s how mine made the Ex List) 

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“Short leash needed” (Spouse on the prowl.) 

Stating the Obvious

“Note: complete short sale rage” (News flash: We all have short sale rage!)

“Need refurrals” (Are those like fuzzy overalls?)

“Lynch served” (The apotheosis of gallows humor)  

“Recused lighting” (It’s the agent who should be recused.)

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Run-on, Run-Off

“Light with dimmer security” (Seller with dimmer agent)

“Indirect lighting to ceiling sunken jacuzzi” (So… how do you keep the water from falling out?)

“Mo agony closets” (Not nearly as agonizing as your spelling, pal.)

“Not damaged in flask flood” (Yeah – that’s ’cause drunks don’t tense up on impact.)

My Faves:

“Fenced in privates” (I  believe that’s called a  jock strap. )

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“Buyer will become a steakholder” (Uh, should someone really hold one’s meat in public?)

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Paula Henry

    June 3, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    Oh Gwen – how do you find all these? I could relate to short sale rage, though!

  2. Gwen Banta

    June 3, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Paula, L.A. seems to be a mecca for miscreants, misanthropes, and misguided mis-spellers!

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