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Lunch swerved and other off-course listing remarks

Well friends, I’m back again with this week’s bloopers, which seemed to fall into a food theme.  I’ve concluded that there must be a lot of hungry real estate agents out there typing…and tippling, too. Some of these will have you licking your lips…or not.

Food Foibles

“Lunch and snakes” (Something tells me I’m the lunch…)

“Assordid desserts” (Let me guess – Little Debbie Snackin’ Snakes?)

“Snacks, coffee and doughnutz” (Thank you, numnutz.)

“Lunch swerved” (Another driver texting while driving!)

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“Cocktail hour open at 6:)) pn” (Methinks cocktail hour starts at your house at breakfast.)

“Join us for swshi” (Hmmm…male fish in high heels?)

And Even Less Tasteful…

“Address is licky” (New “lucky” listing on 77 Saliva Street)

“Ask about buyer insensitive” (Okay, and then let’s talk about seller stubbornness.)

“On hold – seller out of tone” (Offered by Soft-Bodies-R-Us Realty.)

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“French put in by garage” (How unusual…the French usually are put out.)

“On a half ace ” (Let me tell you who is half-aced…)

“Slope needs retraining” (So does my ex…)

“Hhill movement in back” (H Hill must eat a lot of fiber.)

“Bounce catle for the kids” (Interesting…rubber cow toys for baby goats?)

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“Have separate orifice” (For your sake, I sure as hell hope so!)

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Joe Loomer

    April 23, 2011 at 8:58 am

    Bwahahahahaha – the "assordid desserts" had me thinking you had to pull back on that one! I can only imagine the first three things you probably put after that before thinking "no, I want to, but I really can't!"

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  2. Gwen Banta

    April 23, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    Joe – it's so nice to hear from you! You know me, Joe – I have to restrain myself on EVERYTHING!!!

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