Dumb!
“Come in from the cod” (For what porpoise – to seal the deal and have a whale of a time?)
“No seat” (I’ll call you if I need a urinal.)
“Has large debt” (Oh, are we selling the U.S.?)
“Private, must show member” (No wonder I thought you were a pickle salesman…)
“New thankless water heater” (You sound like my Jewish grandmother.)
Duck!
“New central heat & air including air ducks” (If a duck is made of air, does it make a sound if it quacks in the forest?)
“Silk wall cowering” (No doubt because it was accosted by your spelling.)
“Knok The Dooor” (I’d prefer to knock you upside the head.)
“Must a comedy your client” (Well if I have to do stand-up, I demand a two-drink minimum.)
Duh!
“The house is dope” (So is the agent.)
“Check newsraper for times” (Who’s the newsraper – Geraldo Rivera?)
“Large Lady Susan in corner cabinet” (Apparently another chubby Royal has defected.)
“Panting finished soon” (So should I drop by before or after the cigarette?)
And, as my friend Jane says, “Pathetic”
“OOK LOOK LOOK…..PRICE REDUCCION…BRINGY YOURS BUYERS AND LETS CLOSE IT…BRING ME AND OFFER” (Ook, me no bringy or ringy ’cause you can’t spell a thingy, you dingie.)
And The Top Flop:
“Leave message at orifice” (How convenient – just bend over to check your voice mail!)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!
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