Why Dunbar 150 is dead- long live BIG social media networks

“Relations are starting to matter more than relationships.” ~ Adam Singer. Don’t freak out.  This doesn’t mean that conventionally defined relationships are DOA. Cultivating and nurturing our core relationships is more important than ever, and always will be.  But today, the revolutionary nature of Social Media allows us to expand our connections beyond conventionally defined relationships.

Social Media divas, gurus, zen masters, etc. generally agree, “when it comes to the size your Social Media network, bigger isn’t better.”  They talk about the Dunbar 150 Number, and how it’s impossible to maintain real-meaningful-relationships with hundreds, let alone thousands.  150, that’s it, “If you have hundred’s of Facebook Friends, and or, Twitter Followers you’re not being “real”, or worse, you’re a poser, maybe even a spammer.”

I’m not sipping their Kool-Aid. I call Monkey’s-Uncle.

Why we should NOT limit our connections

Let me explain why we should not limit the number of our Friends, or Followers, to a feeble, 150 conventional relationships.

Like Adam illuminates in his blog post, in addition, to our conventional/traditional relationships, there’s another important category of connection –the Relations category.  When we use Social Media to engage, and share with our friends, their friends can observe our interactions.  Adam calls these friends of our friends, the audience of our audience.

In addition to friends of friends, I believe Adam’s Relations category can be expanded to include Friends and Followers we are psychographically compatible with.  Because we share similar values, attitudes, interests, and lifestyles, we have a natural connection.  Even though we don’t know each other well, because of our psychographic compatibility, we get each other.  We don’t have a conventionally defined Relationship, we are Social Media Relations.

Why is this new category of connection important?

Because, the larger the number of people who know us, like us and trust us, and, know us as a choice-worthy, real estate agent, the more opportunities we will attract.  Growing an expanded sphere-of-influence/network of Relations isn’t difficult, the key is to attract, Friend, Follow, share, and connect with the right people.  The key to connecting with the right people, is choosing compatible psychographic tribes and people.

Growing our networks to include both conventional Relationships, and Relations, allows us to influence, share and serve, more people.  Which means more business, and success.  If we limit our sharing, and engagement, to only people we know personally, or we stop at Dunbar 150,  we’ll soon be overshadowed by savvy Social Media competitors who have expanded their networks of influence, and amplified their Top Of Mind Awareness to include Relations, and Relationships.

This is why we can, and should have hundreds, and yes, even thousands of friends and followers.

Now how big do you think your network should be?

That’s what I’m thinking. What do you think?  How big should your network be?  Should you limit your friends or followers to conventionally defined Relationships, or expand to include Relations?

“Content and context define the future of successful marketing.”  ~Adam Singer

We’ve been taught, and we intuitively know, keen content is supremely important.  This applies online, and IRL.  Ego or me-centered content is a nasty form of Selfish Selling, and is shunned by all.  In general, sharing keen content is noticed and appreciated.  If you want we want to sweeten the impact of our excellent content, we must share it in context.

con·text – noun

1. The circumstances in which an event occurs; a setting.

Sharing keen content in context, will transform what we’re sharing, into something hyper-relevant, and therefore more valuable.  This, tattoos us, into their subconscious Top Of Mind Awareness, which makes us familiar, trusted, choosable, and referable.

How do we share in context?  By sharing and engaging with compatible psychographic tribes.  Tribes of people that have common hobbies, interests, activities and opinons.  If we do this we’re sharing in a common language of context, familiarity, and interest.  Sharing with strangers, or psychographically incompatible people, is the definition of out-of-context, irrelevant, and annoying.

So, what do you think so far?  I hope I’m explaining it the way I feel it. Forgive me if I lost you, let me sum it up.

In Conclusion

• Conventional Relationships will always be supremely important.
• Our conversations, and what we share with our friends, is being evaluated, and appreciated, or not, by friends of our friends, what Adam calls, the audience of our audience.  I believe Adam’s Relations category can be expanded to include Friends and Followers we are psychographically compatible with.  Because we share similar values, attitudes, interests, and lifestyles, we have a natural connection.  Even though we don’t know each other well, because of our psychographic compatibility, we get each other.  Social Media allows us to cultivate expanded opportunities, by growing our networks to include conventionally defined Relationships, and Social Media Relations.
• Keen content is King, context is Queen.  Amplify your context, and grow your influential kingdom, by sharing with the right people.  The right people, are people who are psychographically compatible.
• Dunbar 150 isn’t really dead.  But today, Social Media is redefining the number of people we can effectively influence, engage, and serve.  If we limit the number of people we touch to only conventionally defined Relationships, we severely limit our opportunities.  We have to think bigger than before.
• Grow your networks, and spheres of influence beyond conventional and traditionally defined Relationships, include only psychographically compatible people, and tribes.

Thanks for reading.

PS.  The headline quote is from Adam Singer’s blog post titled:  How To Cultivate The Socialization Of Your Business.   To shine few watts on your future, check it out.