All Wet
“Lab pool” (My dog would be thrilled just to swim in the toilet!)
“Peasant surroundings” (Sneered an unrepentant Leona Helmsley as she was hauled through upper Manhattan to her new home at Danbury Federal Correctional Institute.)
“Twilight wine, cheese and jazz troll” (That explains the music coming from under the bridge…)
“New wal paint and tram” (I suggest you hitch a ride back to High School.)
“Perfect for al fresno dinners” (I’m not driving 113 miles to Fresno unless Al’s serving Krugerrand casserole!)
All In
“New oxen” (I suspect someone will be having old oxtail soup for dinner…)
“Tongue and grobe plank flrs” (Tongue got stuck in a “grobe,” eh?)
“Pool has new water hater” (As my dad always said, “Throw him in the deep end – he’ll adjust.”)
“Beautiful wool floors” (Now we know where Mary’s little lamb disappeared to.)
“Can lower chandelier with wench” (How did she get up there in the first place?)
All Out
“Burned wood cabinets” (Obviously this is a fire sale.)
“See aging comments” (In this town, aging comments result in strangulation with a pair of support hose.)
‘Mew listing” (Selling a cat house, huh?)
“Lavish wind cellar” (Methinks you’ve been in Uncle Paddy’s basement after one of his sauerkraut lunches.)
All Over
“BBQ strays” (So do some men, which is why it’s a good idea to keep an eye on your hot dog.)
“Picasso like feel” (Hence his penchant for young women…)
All done! That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!
I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.
